We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Terri Hitt a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Terri, so good to have you with us today. We’ve got so much planned, so let’s jump right into it. We live in such a diverse world, and in many ways the world is getting better and more understanding but it’s far from perfect. There are so many times where folks find themselves in rooms or situations where they are the only ones that look like them – that might mean being the only woman of color in the room or the only person who grew up in a certain environment etc. Can you talk to us about how you’ve managed to thrive even in situations where you were the only one in the room?
I love this question! As an 18-year-old mother, I remember the inadequacy I sometimes felt. Because I had my first daughter at such a young age, I was always the youngest mom in any group. Instead of welcoming me at activities or events, or helping me nurture my confidence as a mother, older moms ignored me. I felt alone wherever I went. With experience and age, I began to confidently step into assurance that I was a good mother. After I began a relationship with Jesus, I discovered how to be a Christ-centered woman. My focus changed to raising godly, not simply good children. That subtle difference in my mindset and goals changed the direction of my parenting plans and results. I had to ask myself, “Who defines what is “good?” The answer became evident when I looked at what is godly. Now I influence, encourage, and equip younger mothers to grow and parent in godly ways that will influence generations. Watching them succeed in raising the children God entrusted to them gives me great joy. Because I’ve raised two sets of children over two generations, starting with my two bio, then ending with my two from China after the first set was grown, I’ve been parenting most of my life! Now, I’m always the oldest mom in any group. I love interacting with moms and always take opportunities to encourage them in the things that matter for eternity. I see myself in them and remember the frustrations, desires, questions, and fears they likely carry. It’s my opportunity to be the loving mentor I wish I’d had. I want them to avoid mistakes I made and help see the need for eternity-focused parenting that nurtures the whole family.
Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?
I think one of the most fascinating things about me is that I’ve raised two families over two generations. My husband and I married right out of high school and had two children within three years. Our son and first daughter were raised and graduated from high school when we were only 39 years old. Fast forward a few years and my husband and I celebrated his 45th birthday while in China adopting our baby girl. That precious daughter began a faith journey and new generation of parenting. Ten years later we adopted our youngest daughter from China. She was 9 years old at the time. Being blessed to love and experience bio and adoptive parenting has been a gift, Also, working full time outside the home with my first set of children, then experiencing being a homeschooling, stay-at-home mom with the second set of children has taught me so much and given me quite a bit of experience and empathy. I’m also an experienced advocate for special medical and learning needs for my youngest daughter.
I’ve walked through the difficult loss of my parents and father-in-law, as well as other precious family members. The hardest of all has been the death of my first daughter. The way God carried me through her loss fourteen years ago, and His provisions for our adoptions led me to begin my first podcast in January of 2020. I’m now focused on a second podcast, “Purposed Parent/Connected Child.” This podcast allows me to share what I’ve learned over the course of parenting the last forty-four years. As a Christian Parenting Coach, I appreciate the ability to connect and teach biblical parenting values and tips that helps form the next generation and connect families in a deeper way.
I currently coach one-on-one with mothers but am completing finishing touches on a group coaching collective. Even though this is a group setting, connecting in personal ways is very important to me. Just as every child is unique, so is every woman and family. What a pleasure it is to help mothers set and move toward goals that will affect their family now and for eternity. The collective has clear methods to deepen relationship with Christ and children. I also focus on helping mothers and children form godly identity and confidence. The truth is, if we do not teach our children how to honor Christ, the world will likely sway them away.
I also co-founded an online business with my middle daughter. Melane & Co. is a lifestyle brand that creates joy so that others can share it. Our custom pet portraits, animal, floral, and nature prints and cards bring smiles to the young and young at heart. My daughter, Marissa is the artist behind the beautiful watercolor creations that are painted on watercolor paper and canvases. She also handles social media and photo shoots. We desire innocence to be reflected in the home, so children can grow up surrounded by nature and gentleness. One of the best compliments I received from my middle daughter after she was grown was how she appreciated growing up with picture books that instilled beauty, creativity, and light in her thoughts and character. Now we have the opportunity to continue that tradition with delightful items through Melane & Co. Children grow up too quickly, but parents have the ability to guide that process with beauty and gentleness that molds godly character.
If you would like to learn more, please send me a message on any of my socials below!
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
To list three of the most impactful is challenging, but I would say they are in the areas of self-improvement. We can’t control people around us, but we can work on changing self. Our changes can then beautifully extend to alter the world around us, especially those we love. If for some reason, our changes don’t affect others, because of the growth we experienced, we are better able to handle the following areas: 1. Actions/Reactions – Learning to view self through God’s lens and acknowledging that what we do affects others in positive or negative ways not only in this world, but for eternity is humbling. How we respond to things or treat ourselves or others is watched by our children. Most of what we do, rather than what we say to do, will be copied by them.
2. Feelings/Emotions – I’m thankful that God allows humans to carry feelings and emotions, yet I think we often don’t realize the power they hold. Just because we feel or think it, doesn’t mean the feeling or emotion is true or correct. We get to choose whether to allow them to be positive or negative influences in our life. It’ s important to acknowledge those feeling and emotions, yet not stay stuck in them. Learning to process them through healthy methods is crucial to living with joy.
3. Thoughts – How powerful thoughts can be! We can get so lost within our inner dialogues that we easily believe lies instead of God’s truths. One of the most important things I learned to do is take my thoughts back to the truths in God’s Word. Comparing what I think against what His compass of truth teaches has enriched my life tremendously. Because I continue to change, the lives of those around me do, too. I used to be an insecure young woman, but now I’m humbly confident because I believe and honor what God says about me. Taking every thought captive, comparing it to His truth, and releasing what doesn’t match is very empowering.
Tell us what your ideal client would be like?
Because I remember feelings I carried as a young mother such as inadequacy, guilt, hurt, and frustration, I know most other mothers feel the same. I yearn to wrap my arm around the shoulders of mothers. Encouraging and equipping them to carve time to create close connection with their children is a joy I treasure. I believe culture is robbing families of time, attachment, and joy. We’re ignorantly handing our precious children over to be raised by peers, instead of crafting plans to raise them with godly intention.
Because I’ve parented over two generations, I’ve learned what is important and what only seems to be. Before beginning my second round of motherhood, I prayerfully developed a plan for parenting focused on the lifestyle I wanted, the type of relationship I wanted with my child, and how both would affect our eternal futures. Much like couples should prepare for retirement or that vacation they want to take, I recognized that parents must craft plans for purposed parenting. I saw deceit in the way culture advertises that motherhood is about being best buddies with children compared to how God calls us to raise children for Him. I adore working with younger mothers who want to build life-long godly and close relationships with their children. I don’t believe in raising “typical” children.
For example, teens don’t have to go through a stage of taking back, of disrespecting parents, or listening to peers over parents. I enjoy working with mothers who want to be set-apart and rise above societal standards and raise kids to chase Christ over culture. I enjoy sharing the parenting plans I made and helping mothers craft prayerful, individual plans for the unique children entrusted to them. Purposed parenting begins before you bring your child home. I help mothers grow spiritually, then equip them with tools to build a strong biblical foundation for their children that will hold joy for the family during teen and young adult years.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.terrihitt.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/terrihitt/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/purposedparentconnectedchild
- Other: My website: https://www.terrihitt.com/podcasts Purposed Parent/Connected Child Podcast Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/terri_hitt/ Melane & Co.: https://www.melaneandco.com
Image Credits
Photos by Jenny Shipley
