We recently connected with Missy Baker and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Missy, thank you for joining us today and sharing your experiences and acquired wisdom with us. Burnout is a huge topic these days and so we’d love to kick things off by discussing your thoughts on overcoming or avoiding burnout
The year was 2019. It had been less than a year since I had come back to my full-time job from maternity leave for my daughter. Every day of work felt like a struggle. After being up multiple times at night with my daughter, rising early to pump milk to make sure she had enough at daycare, dropping her off and then juggling leadership responsibilities with a pumping schedule at work was exhausting. I couldn’t keep up. I stepped down to a part-time role in February and by September, I left my position. I had been working as engineer for almost 10 years at that point, but I couldn’t do it anymore. I was burnt out.
But what I have come to realize since then is that the sheer amount of activities I had on my schedule was not what caused my burnout. The bigger culprit was that for my entire career, I had been compartmentalizing who I was. As soon as I graduated college and started my career, the separation of personal and professional began in my life. My whole career in engineering was spent in manufacturing and as a female, off the bat I felt at a disadvantage for being taken seriously. I had gone by Missy my whole life, but my given name is Melissa. I decided that I would go by Melissa because it felt more “professional” and sounded formal. But the compartmentalization didn’t stop there. I became a totally different person at work than when I was in my personal life. At work, I blended in to be “one of the guys”. I laughed at jokes that I didn’t think were funny. I did my best to never show any emotions and got really good at “going along to get along”. At the time, I thought this was just how to be successful, but I didn’t realize how exhausting it was and honestly how much it was actually holding me back.
Fast forward to 2018 when my daughter was born and I had been keeping up this separation of personal and professional me for 8 years. And adding “Mom” to my personal job description exposed how much energy I had been using to keep up this “professional” persona. The exhaustion of it all came crumbling down.
Obviously, quitting isn’t the best way to overcome burnout and it’s not feasible for most people. But in leaving that world, I was able to gain such a perspective on why I was burnt out. I discovered Heart-Centered Personal Styling and discovered for the first time the deeper connection between style and true essence of who we are deep in our souls. As I began to practice the principles I now use with clients on myself, I realized that I had boxed up who I was in my soul when I was in professional settings. I had never allowed myself to dress in a way that felt authentic, but it was deeper than that. I had not allowed myself to be wholly authentic the entire time I was in my career!
As I began to unravel all the beliefs I had about “showing up professionally”, I could feel the weight being lifted. I have built my business around bringing my whole authentic self to work everyday and I’ve taught others to do the same. On the surface, it might not seem like a big deal, but when you can give yourself permission to show up in the clothes that feel like you, the freedom feels like nothing else. For example, if you’ve forced yourself to wear black and neutrals because it’s “more professional” but your heart sings for patterns and pink, you are hiding yourself from the world. It might not seem like a big deal for a day, a week, a year, but eventually you’ll feel the toll of not showing up as you.
Learning to breakdown the walls of compartmentalization between your worlds is a huge factor in overcoming or avoiding burnout. It allows the uniqueness that is you to rise and will bring you more success than hiding yourself ever will.
Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?
I already introduced it a little bit with my story about burnout, but discovering that power of clothing and style in my own life made me KNOW that I had to share it with the world. I had always had a drive to help people. That drove my decision to become an engineer in the first place. But after leaving the engineering world and starting my business, I realized that I had been craving this deeper connection to the people I was helping.
Our closet and our clothes are truly some of the most intimate spaces in our lives. We hide a lot of secrets in our closets and letting go of things in our closets usually represents a larger letting go of long held beliefs, feelings, and stories. And when we put these clothes on our bodies, the energies they represent come with us for the day. We are literally putting the clothes in our energy field, so when they are holding old stories, beliefs and energies, we are unknowingly also carrying those around with us all day. This is why alignment of what is in your closet and what you wear every day is so important to how you feel and how you show up for your life.
These ideas are the basis of Soul to Style. Soul to Style was founded on the principle of using style and fashion as a vehicle for self-discovery and self-expression. This is a different lens for style. It is less about being stylish to the world and more about finding the style that speaks to you. But when you are in alignment with the style you are wear, the glow you have will be apparent to everyone around you.
Currently, I am reintroducing my new and improved A to Z style program into the world, Style Embodiment. Style Embodiment is for the woman who’s ready to shed the old and embrace her authentic self with ease. She is ready to learn to connect her inner world to her outer physical expression and stand in her own glory. Style Embodiment sets her free to be true to herself with ease.
Style Embodiment, which can be done in-person OR virtually, has been redesign to really help move you through creating a style vision all the way to bringing it to life. I have incorporated Reiki throughout to give a deeper clearing of old energies and the program will give you the freedom and ease you have been searching for, not only in your wardrobe, but in your self-expression and freedom to be yourself.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
Looking back, the first thing I have to say is my engineering education. No, I don’t use the complicated math and physics that I learned in my classes, but it taught me how to bounce back from failures and how to solve problems. I didn’t always have the smoothest time with my course work. I failed my first class in college, but I learned from those experiences and learned how to ask for help. The second time I took the class I failed originally, I was able to pass with a B and overall, I learned that failing isn’t as scary as I once thought that it was. That resilience has helped me take leap after leap after leap and has been instrumental in getting to where I am today.
The problem solving skills that I learned also are so helpful even in my styling business, because not only does it help me in solving the back-end issues that come up with a business, but it also helps me be so focused on helping my clients really dive into the root causes of the issues they are seeing. We dive deep into the work because I don’t want to give them a band-aid solution that only will work for a short time, I want to help them really find that root cause and make lasting changes with big impacts.
And lastly, my ability to have compassion and hold safe space for myself and for others has been crucial. Our clothes and the stories we hold onto about them and our bodies are so sacred and vulnerable. The ability to hold that for my clients is a huge part of the success for them and for me in my business. And do be able to do that for others, truly, you have to be able to do it for yourself first. You have to be vulnerable with yourself. My clients know that I’ve walked through the fire and back first and so there is nothing they can say that will surprise me. And that creates this bond, this level of vulnerability that allows us to really dig in and get a lot of work done and a lot of energy moved/released during this process.
How would you describe your ideal client?
My ideal client is a professional woman full of ambition and drive. She is a trailblazer and someone who recognizes that her personal style could be a potent conduit for expressing her inner essence to the world, but she isn’t quite sure how to get to that point. Driven by a desire to break free from societal norms, she’s drawn to the concept of using her wardrobe as a canvas for her authentic self and creative expression.
Despite her accomplishments, she’s no stranger to the occasional self-doubt or the feeling of not fully aligning with her external presentation. Yet, within her, there’s a longing to bridge the gap between her inner aspirations and her outward appearance. She seeks a guide, a mentor who has walked the path, and a supportive community that fosters growth and authenticity.
My ideal client is ready to rewrite the narrative, to peel back the layers that have hidden her brilliance, and step boldly into her own glory. She’s open to exploration, eager to embark on a style evolution that mirrors her inner evolution. Within the offerings of Soul to Style, she finds a haven—a place to unveil her unique radiance, stand out unapologetically, and impact the world with her true essence.
If you resonate with this vision of embracing your authentic self and using your style to reflect your inner power, you’re exactly who I’m here to serve. Reach out today to start your extraordinary journey of self-expression, empowerment, and growth.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://soul-to-style.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/soul.to.style/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/soul.to.style/
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/missy-baker-4657214/
Image Credits
Meg Witt Lorena Opris
