We were lucky to catch up with Nisha Patel recently and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Nisha , so great to have you on the platform. There’s so much we want to ask you, but let’s start with the topic of self-care. Do you do anything for self-care and if so, do you think it’s had a meaningful impact on your effectiveness?
Self-care is essential to my reparenting process and the foundation for my overall well-being. The idea of self-care has become extremely popular because more and more people are shifting their understanding of what self-care truly means. The first time I remember hearing about self-care in the context of meeting my needs was through social media and further learning about it in college. Before that, my definition of self-care was limited to words like a spa treatment, vacations, and/or self-indulgent acts.
I now understand that self-care focuses on yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally. It’s putting your needs first to be more effective at work and in relationships. Creating a regular practice took time. It takes time to figure out what works and stick to it.
I typically work later hours, so my mornings are incredibly sacred and are the time I get to engage in my self-care practice. I view self-care through the wellness lens, which looks at your body, mind, and soul. I like to keep things simple, so my self-care routine is also pretty simple. My morning self-care routine includes the following:
Setting a consistent wake-up time
Moving my body and/or breathwork
Eating a healthy breakfast
Journaling + To-do list
My evening self-care routine includes the following:
No technology 30 minutes bedtime
Warm shower
Ginger tea and reading a book
I also find opportunities to practice self-care throughout my day by taking breaks, knowing my limits, sleeping in, taking a mental health day, setting boundaries, or saying no when I am stretched too thin.
In terms of effectiveness, I know when I take care of myself, I can maintain my balance, manage stress and anxiety, and be present at work (and home). It’s all about finding ways to be kind to yourself.
As a mental health professional who works with clients from all walks of life, it is easy to experience higher stress levels and burnout if I do not care for myself. Therefore, self-care is crucial for maintaining my wellness and avoiding burnout- allowing me to be truly effective with my clients. In addition, it is a way for me to take care of myself by balancing my needs with the needs of others and ensuring I can keep going.
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and the face behind the space Brown Girl Trauma. Brown Girl Trauma is a Mental Health and Self-Growth community for Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families. I currently work for a thriving private practice in Chicago. The central question driving my work is, “How can we break the generational cycle of family dysfunction?”
To answer the question, I help people understand their family patterns and the long-term effects of growing up in a dysfunctional family. I also help clients identify their inner child and work to reparent themselves through healthy self-growth & mental health practices that include identifying internalized family messages, expressing wants and needs, healthy boundary setting, regulating the nervous system, and maintaining a relationship with the family while being true to who you are.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
The three most impactful qualities in my journey of growing the community of cycle breakers are courage, purpose, and hope. It takes courage to change and speak about things that have been the norm. It continues to take courage daily to show up in this space and help remind others that they are not alone in their experiences. My purpose is to help people thrive in their lives and not be defined by their family dysfunction, and for that, I will always be hopeful. It is important to live a value-based life to put your heart and soul into doing what you love, making it a better world than yesterday.
What do you do when you feel overwhelmed? Any advice or strategies?
Between running Brown Girl Trauma, working at a private practice, and maintaining my personal life, I have a hectic life, so if I am not reflecting on how I am feeling, it can start to interfere with my life. When I feel like I have too much on my plate or insufficient time to get through my to-do lists, or if I am feeling anxious, I know I need to slow down, step back, and focus on my needs. Some strategies that work well for me include taking breaks, practicing mindfulness, connecting with friends/family, and processing my feelings in therapy. When we feel overwhelmed, our coping ability feels less than whatever stresses us out. So the first thing you can do is identity what makes you feel overwhelmed, adding to your stress. This gives you a clear idea of your triggers and identifies how they make you feel. Once you know how you feel, engaging in healthy coping can look like asking for help, engaging in a breathing exercise, movement, challenging your thoughts, or doing something fun.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://browngirltrauma.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/browngirltrauma/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/browngirltrauma/
- Twitter: https://twitter.com/browngirltrauma
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