Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Ben Chaverin. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
: Hi Ben, so excited to have you with us today and we are really interested in hearing your thoughts about how folks can develop their empathy? In our experience, most folks want to be empathic towards others, but in a world where we are often only surrounded by people who are very similar to us, it can sometimes be a challenge to develop empathy for others who might not be as similar to us. Any thoughts or advice?
Empathy is meaningless if you don’t take off your Disguise. Empathy is the easiest thing in the world until it’s for someone you don’t understand.
Empathy is just giving a small piece of your personhood, to someone else.
I didn’t learn Empathy until concerningly late… I was told others are valuable because of some kind of natural order. “People are just valuable because they’re Created”. And then one day, I Created a bad song. I strummed my guitar over and over to it thinking it was amazing, I was the next Alexander 23 or Caroline Polachek. And then I stopped. And I said to myself, “Some songs suck. Songs make me happy because they let me reveal myself to the world.”
And then I wrote a hundred million more bad songs and maybe 3 or 4 good ones…
When you let down your Disguise, and let your mind flow, I think you’ll see someone. You, your god, your parent or sibling, you likely already know whose image your mind will show you. Your brain doesn’t know what life is without humanity, or yourself, or your best friend. This is because empathy runs deep in your DNA. It’s the definition of person.
Now, you’d think Empathy would be something musicians naturally excel at, given the vulnerability and emotionality of the medium.
Yet girl friends warn each other not to date musicians because they’re “consumed with their music” (and thereby themselves), and they are like two different people; they’re still wearing that Disguise.
Yet musicians are all the time exposed for hate, abuse, power grabbing, violation, and all sorts of other sins.
But here we are, asking musicians to teach us about their Empathy. I, too, am guilty of this.
In short, I have empathy because that’s the deepest definition of personhood, and because I know that a thousand generations before me have paved the way towards true Empathy. And music is the only way I know how to take off the Disguise.
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
As Ben Chaverin I write for dance music and pop, and my most recent song Disguise with Norii and Anekdote wrestles with what I talked about above: exposing yourself for what you truly are and facing the thing you’re hiding behind. I hope you hear it.
I’m not interested in demanding your attention because I trust your mind to find what it needs. However, I do love connecting with people directly, and sharing some personhood with them.
I love to connect with people on Instagram @benchaverin
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
Connectedness – Making friends is the hardest and easiest and most dangerous and most rewarding thing I’ve ever done. Aside from a few duds (Empathy is a little more difficult when people try to screw you over), I’ve been virtually surrounded by the most incredible, talented, joyous group of people I could ever ask for. These people are way cooler than me so I’m glad to sometimes steal just a tiny bit of talent from them here and there.
Openness – Never look down on someone else’s path, because sometimes their methods will leave you in the dust. You can learn something new from everyone, including the people you don’t like. Life is just life. It’s not good or bad. Just let it happen, and make your brain as big as it can get.
Enjoying the journey – If you don’t enjoy the journey, you won’t know when you arrive at the destination. This is a new one for me, still learning. The groove, the tension of the song, the theatrics. Love it. Enjoy your life and your art, and always prioritize Empathy in your art, however that may be.
We’ve all got limited resources, time, energy, focus etc – so if you had to choose between going all in on your strengths or working on areas where you aren’t as strong, what would you choose?
Be good at something, but not everything. Do the things you want to be good at. Be smart, learn. But don’t do something to be good at it. Do something because you want to DO something.
What is it you want to do? All I’ve done is learn, sing, learn, produce, learn and perform. I wasted too much time overthinking and not enough just MAKING SOMETHING I LIKE. You deserve the grace. You deserve Empathy for yourself. Just do the thing you love, learn however much you need to do it.
Contact Info:
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/benchaverin/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/benchavmusic/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQPHF9RdR_eMF1QKh-P8n0w
Image Credits
Jennifer Wheat Keenan Capps Hayden Morgan
