Meet Michael Moran

We recently connected with Michael Moran and have shared our conversation below.

Michael, sincerely appreciate your selflessness in agreeing to discuss your mental health journey and how you overcame and persisted despite the challenges. Please share with our readers how you overcame. For readers, please note this is not medical advice, we are not doctors, you should always consult professionals for advice and that this is merely one person sharing their story and experience.
I’ve suffered most of my life from pretty severe depression and anxiety. Mine mostly manifests in chronic-fatigue, extreme discomfort around people, an overwhelming fear of the future, and generally just kind of feeling crummy, mentally and physically. Being a human is difficult enough without these often-debilitating conditions, the treatment of which can be really tricky, and frustrating. And then throw in the fact that I just HAVE to devote my life to my art (if you’re an artist you understand this) instead of choosing a career what would allow treatment to be more sustainable, and it all can certainly be difficult at times.

HOWEVER, it’s really not so bad nowadays. As I grow older I figure out more and more how to stay creating, while keeping my mental health issues mostly in check. And I remind myself to be grateful that my condition is treatable (though never cured) for the most part. So many others have mental health problems that seem much more insurmountable. And I am also lucky to have the best family, and friends on Earth, who have supported me in this creative journey.

One specific trick I use to make sure I am always inching forward in all of my creative endeavors is a daily list of micro-goals. Very often the depression steals my motivation to work, and the anxiety makes it all seem so impossible anyway. So, I have a checklist of 5 minute assignments for each weekday, that I have followed for the last 3 years without fail. This way I know I am always moving forward at least a tad, even when the inspiration isn’t there. It may not seem like much, but you would be surprised what 5 minutes, 5 days a week can add up to, and you can always slowly increase the amount of time, if that’s what the project calls for.

Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?
About 15 years ago, when I was 27 I had a really severe depressive episode while coming down of a medication. The sad fact is, with things as they are, someone like me is never quite secure when it comes to health care, and when the rug is pulled out from under, we sometimes just have to try and land the best we can. One good thing to come out of it though my life was kind of falling apart, was that it allowed me to see what I really needed to do in life. When things are going pretty ok, it can sometimes be easy to coast along, and put off the things I’m passionate about in exchange for short-term satisfaction.

So I basically started over from scrap, this time determined to at least try and take a crack at the starving-artist little dream life, I had put off pursuing for so long. I was utterly overwhelmed which “what ifs,” and “how the hell’s,” and all those fearful thoughts, that I have since gotten better at dealing with, but I somehow stayed persistent none the less, and slowly started chipping away at a life I imagined loving. Not just getting by, but thriving.

And of course I’m still chipping away. It’s a never ending process. Am I where I would like to be? Not quite. But I have gotten to do some pretty awesome things in my journey, that I am very proud of, and grateful for. As someone who has experienced such prolonged periods of hopelessness, and failure as I have, to know I’ve accomplished at least some of my dreams is something that not even depression can take from me. My career as an artist may not look super-impressive on paper, and I’ve never quite been able to reach that ever-elusive, artist, holy grail, of not having a day job (thankfully mine is one I love as well), but by my own little standards, at least when I look at things through my heart, and not my ego, I have indeed done some pretty cool stuff.

Let the humble-bragging begin!

Comedy is the thing I have been most successful in career-wise. Again, you may disagree as I clearly have not “made it” beyond being the weird local, Baltimore, guy who occasionally gets called in to open for whatever alternative comic is touring through town, but I have had the pleasure of performing with Michael Ian Black, Robert Klien, Creed Bratton, Craig Gass, Shane Torres, Alex Hooper, and many others. Call me shallow, but it feels really great doing comedy with folks I watched on TV as a kid.

I have a stand up special, Please Like Me for free on YouTube, as well as a mini-special called Pause Comedy.

Stand up comedy led me into the world of podcasting, and (briefly) radio, when I was asked to co-host with longtime Baltimore DJ, Mickey Cucchiella, who I also came up listening to. Though we eventually got canned (we were a little too much for an easy listening, AM station), it was an amazing experience, and introduced me to a whole new audience, many of whom still follow my stuff.

My current podcast is called The Confessional, and focuses on a different topic each episode, usually in the realm of personal experience, spooky stories, mental health, and horror media (all that good dark stuff), while of course retaining a comical (though respectful) tone. We also have folks write-in via my Facebook page, to contribute their own stories, which are read (with permission) and discussed throughout. We have had musicians like, Gina Schock from the Go-Gos, Marty Friedman of Megadeth, both CJ and Richie Ramone, MC Serch, as well comedians including Chris Gethard, Michael Winslow, Brad Sherwood of Whose Line is it Anyway, and many more artists of all kinds.

Speaking of Whose Line is it Anyway I also have founded a short-form improv troupe called Senior Mints (though we are looking for a better name!), which plays all the games you have seen on TV, but with a slightly weirder tone.

Comedy also allowed me to get my start in the world of writing, as I was asked over a decade ago by Pulitzer-Prize winning journalist, Doug Donovan to do a humor column for AOL’s Patch: North Baltimore, a regional online news site. Since then I have been published in international magazines, Skeptic, and The Skeptical Inquirer, as well having several articles published on Medium go (a little bit) viral.

Though comedy has been the art form I seem to be most natural at, my absolute favorite thing to do is to play music. Though I’ve always struggled with it on a technical level, and am far from an accomplished musician, I have managed to finally get my dream band together under the name of The Loss.

Though our instrumentation is minimal, and our performance simple, we have focused our musical direction towards simply attempting to write great songs: quality over quantity. We were proud to release our first single/music video this year, entitled Like there’s a Gun to my Head (it’s actually way more positive then it sounds), which features former MTV VJ, Matt Pinfield announcing us as though we were back in the 90s. This was quite exciting for us, as we all grew up watching him. The video is also on YouTube, and the song can be found wherever you stream music.

I’m also working on a cover band project, that will similarly pay homage to the old MTV days, as we perform in front of a screen playing all the old music videos, with nostalgic old MTV clips spliced in between. Tentatively titled “I Want MY MTV,” we will hopefully be playing out around Baltimore in the next few months or so.

Outside of music, and comedy, the thing I am most proud of creating is “A Support Group for Depression and Anxiety where we Eat Cereal.” That’s right, it’s just what it sounds like. We have meetings on Zoom every Thursday night at 8pm est, where we discuss our experience with a different mental health-related topic every week, with a speaker kicking things off. And yes, we eat cereal (though it’s not required). We also have a strong community on Facebook (search for us) of individuals helping one another, and making each other laugh.

Like I said, nothing earth-shattering, but on a personal level, I do feel like I’ve accomplished some things I am very proud of, that have flown directly in the face of my inner-demons, and hopefully stand as an example of someone who can produce art on a local level, without needing a million followers.

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
1. Hope. As simple and as cheesy as it sounds, life is just nothing without hope. I would rather be incompetent than without hope. Heck, I’d rather be a bit delusional than to lack it. It’s that important. Looking at life with a naive, childlike, optimism and with rose colored glasses, ain’t a bad thing. Even if it is unrealistic, and I screw somethings up because my head is too far in the clouds: so be it. Hope in the future is worth falling flat on your face from time to time.

It’s funny, I’m a logic and reason nerd, who believes in looking at things scientifically, and skeptically…except when it comes to my dreams for the future. Why? Because I have the disease of depression and anxiety, which consistently gives me a falsely negative view of things to come. If I think about it too much, I will always come to the conclusion that I haven’t got a shot.

And so I have a kind of faith that things will be ok if I just do the next right thing. And the vast majority of the time, they are.

I have a slogan I came up with to remind myself what it’s all about:

You’ll never have enough money, time, or energy to accomplish your dreams…but you’re just going to have to do it anyway.

2. Discipline. So much of my life I have put off doing the things I know I meant to do out of sheer laziness. The depression is certainly a factor in this, plus the fact that I likely have undiagnosed ADD, but I can’t blame it all on those things, as the sad truth is I am simply also lazy by nature. Maybe it’s my being the baby in a family, but my first reaction to any kind of challenge is…eh, can’t someone else do it?
It’s important to acknowledge and except my own nature in this kind of capacity, especially when it’s unflattering. Because one of the best things about being human, is that we can examine our flaws, and work on slowly changing them. Sometimes, with enough discipline and time, we become the best at the things we were once the worst at.

For someone with anxiety like me, the things necessary in life that we need to do to achieve our dreams, can be very overwhelming. It seems like an endless battle, and in a way it is. One that never fails to present new problems just when we think we have it figured out. That’s why I break things down into doable, daily, bits. I get slightly better every day with the things I am lacking in. And I get slightly closer to finishing the projects I am passionate about.

Resolutions (at least for me) do not work. I always eventually return to type. But a tad bit a day, I can do. When I get inspired, I no longer make a resolution, but a micro-goal.

Kindness.

Trust me I’m no saint. I have plenty of flaws, including anger issues, and am certainly not exempt from the dominant human trait of selfishness. But i try pretty hard to not cause harm in this world, and to make the proper amends when I do.

Life just goes better this way. Walking around with a clean conscience is more enjoyable, and more conducive to creative thought. Plus, people like you more and want to support, and work with you.

I guess a big part of why I avoid drama, or trying desperately to prove my ego to others, is that I mostly just don’t care! That stuff is sometimes tempting for the immediate gratification of the false sense of superiority, but ultimately I’d rather just cut through all that nonsense and get to the fun stuff in life: creating, performing, laughing, achieving.

Of course, the unfortunate truth is, that lying, cheating, and stealing can indeed still be an advantage in this world, and having to watch dishonest individuals climb the ladder in any given field, including the arts can be difficult to stomach. But I can only take comfort in the fact that win or lose, I refuse to be that person, and am doing this damned thing ethically.

Believe me, I know there are people who don’t like me, and think all of the above is nonsense, and I’m sure in some ways they are right. I’m definitely far from perfect. But I do try pretty hard to make sure that I sleep well at night.

Advice:

My biggest advice is to not take too much advice. Honestly, I think 90% of things told to me early on in my journey, turned out to not really apply to me. Because we are all individuals on our own path. It’s tricky though, because every now and again someone gives you a piece of advice that is a game-changer. So…I guess it’s an art unto itself.

Ultimately you have to just jump in and figure it out for yourself. What do you truly want to do? What art do you really want to make? There simply is no right or wrong way. There are no rules. Especially in today’s Information age. Find your own ideal, and slowly work towards it. It may change along the way, and that’s ok too.
I’ll tell you this though, even when I realize I’m not actually into something I w thought I was, I never regret the work I put into it. If you’re working on your art, genuinely and for the right reasons for yourself, you can only fail up.

Oh, and don’t quit your day job. Hehe. I know that is the last things any artist wants to hear, but I personally see no shame in finding a stable position that you enjoy to keep things afloat, while you do your creative thing at night. So many obsess over the fantasy of making a living at their art, but it often becomes a miserable, and desperate endeavor, that requires artistic compromise, and constant salesmanship. Just make the art you want to make, and work at a coffee shop or something!

What would you advise – going all in on your strengths or investing on areas where you aren’t as strong to be more well-rounded?
I think it’s is always important to work towards improving on your weaknesses, as we all will and always will have them. And As artists our weakness seems to usually lies in the realm of anything that’s involved in the process, but not the actual art itself. We love to perform, to work on our craft, to release content online, but it’s a slog doing all the boring, tedious, crap it takes behind the scenes to properly present our creation.

The truth is, unless you hit the big time, you’re going to have to do a lot more
Than just the art itself, just to get things out there. You have to be your own manager, producer, PR team, limo driver, etc. Early on in stand up I would always say, “I just want to perform.” Meaning I had no interest in running shows, or teaching classes, or promoting, or anything like that. . But I quickly learned that I would be forgotten about if I’m simply hitting the open mics regularly.

You have to be your own biggest advocate, and not be ashamed to push your own product as hard as you can. There is so much content available to everyone right now, that you have to make sure you get peoples attention!

Contact Info:

Image Credits
Oli Brann -photos Graphic art – Byron Brooks

Suggest a Story: BoldJourney is built on recommendations from the community; it’s how we uncover hidden gems, so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.
Resilience
Portraits of Resilience

Sometimes just seeing resilience can change out mindset and unlock our own resilience. That’s our

Productivity
Perspectives on Staying Creative

We’re beyond fortunate to have built a community of some of the most creative artists,

Confidence
Kicking Imposter Syndrome to the Curb

This is the year to kick the pesky imposter syndrome to the curb and move