We recently connected with Joanna Tarnava and have shared our conversation below.
Joanna, we’re so excited for our community to get to know you and learn from your journey and the wisdom you’ve acquired over time. Let’s kick things off with a discussion on self-confidence and self-esteem. How did you develop yours?
Confidence is often a hot topic for me. The truly interesting thing in my life is people label me as outgoing and confident and I usually feel the exact opposite, which leads to the conversation of, why do they perceive that, and why do I feel that.
To me, we will have two different forms of expression: Confidence, and Courage. Confidence is an external projection which is mind based. Courage is an internal action which is spirit based. It’s truly a wonderful thing if someone can move with both, but usually it is one or the other.
When they explain the actions I take and how I move in the world (being an activist, ushering in new methods of healing, engaging in communities where I am the “outsider”, moving to new cities and countries site unseen, traveling alone, living in chronic severe pain, etc) I usually feel that my actions aren’t out of confidence, but of courage. One of my favorite sayings is “What makes a great warrior isn’t that they have no fear, it’s that they keep going regardless of it.” To me, that’s courage.
I think it’s a beautiful thing when someone has confidence AND courage, but they are not hand in hand, and I also believe that many people with natural uninhibited confidence are lacking structure, talent, and integrity.
So I’d like to bring the attention to readers that, if you are out there, and you have a talent, or a vision, or an art, and you lack confidence or have imposter syndrome, or you compare yourselves to that “loud” person who has similar offerings but lacks in authenticity; give yourself a break. Bring your focus to tapping into your courage.
As a person who perceives herself often as an introvert, I somehow find myself in many social situations where people want to hand me the torch to lead, and it takes everything I have to do that task without melting into a puddle, but somehow, I build the courage to do it. To me, of course if I see people who can take that torch and run and shine with it, I will feel some envy at their ease, but that is not my story. I know that I have the courage to do what it takes, even if I’m scared, even if my anxiety yells loud at me to self sabotage, even if I think the odds are against me. I’ve done the self work to remind myself that even if whatever tasks at hand totally fails, I would never know that outcome if I didn’t try. So I move in the world as the forever Jane of all trades. I would rather try and fail then never know what it felt like.
Our self worth and self esteem will be a forever cycle of ebb and flows as we grow, regress, grow, regress. Our goal is to regress less often, catch ourselves sooner and move forward further each time.
The clearest way I can describe our process of growth is in a three step system:
1. Awareness, we get the download that we need to change something, or want to do something
2. Action, we attempt (and fail) and attempt (and fail) and cycle 1, 2, 1, 2 many many times, and if we keep at it, then…
3. Actualization, we have honed in this new lifestyle choice enough times that it becomes part of our natural flow, and then we move on to the next thing to heal, learn, grow, transmute, master.
I don’t have an answer for you on how I developed any of it beyond that. I can be certain that some of my courage came from survival necessity which I was able to transmute into power and positive attributes, but of course some of it is still trauma and survival. I know that I constantly hype myself up to be more confident and just go for it. I know that I use words, boundaries, and self care to keep my esteem and worth at a high value.
Be easy on yourself! Trust in YOUR path, don’t compare yourself to others, but be inspired by them. Take tiny steps time after time to retrain yourself that you are worth whatever situation you’ve found yourself in, and you are as amazing as someone sees you as, even if you can’t see it yourself at this time.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
My brand is pretty explanatory and found on my website as well as many articles telling the story. I assist people on their journey of waking up, healing their body, remembering their soul path and creating a foundation for abundance and prosperity in all forms of their lives. I do this through bodywork, energy healing, meditation, quantum healing, sound and frequency healing, coaching and utilizing tools accessible to us.
I would actually like to tell more of a back story of my own personal life and how it is a crucial part of my business and how I see the world.
In 2016 my entire life changed. I was freshly in LA and about to embark on a whole new life. Living at the beach with full access to an outdoor surf and fitness life, building community and clientele and stepping into a grounded chapter in my life. I had ambitious 5 year plans which seemed very feasible after the first 6 months.
I started experiencing back pain with no seeming cause, no accident, no injury. It kept getting worse and worse and I was being overlooked by doctors and healers for any serious worries. It got to a point where I could barely walk or sit and was in a flow of shock. One morning, something happened I couldn’t have comprehended. My discs exploded in my spine. My entire right leg shifted to searing nerve pain and numbness throughout, my back on fire in a way I can’t even describe. Still with this, I was overlooked by doctors as I was talking with an intelligence and demeanor they aren’t used to from patients. I kept getting sent away from the ER and chiros and doctors refusing my requests for MRIs. I lived in this state of shock for 4 months before I finally got a doctor to do MRIs and connect me to a surgeon. Due to this extended duration with discs ruptured, regardless of surgery, I came out as a “failed back surgery” status. I have now been living since 2016 in severe chronic nerve pain. It changed my entire life. I left my full time massage work and shifted into my healing career, and the same time spending 100% of my spare time and income on doctors, physio, healing, alternative treatments and experimenting with green medicine to hopefully find a way to decrease this pain.
My entire life has shifted, from the shoes and clothes I can wear, the activities I can do, the rest and recovery that I need and adaptive tools I use to assist me from things getting worse. Not to mention, a brand new world and community didn’t get to know the true me; they got to know the story of my back and my surgery, my pain and my trauma. There isn’t really anyone in Southern California that doesn’t know and correlate me to trauma. That is a heavy burden to hold.
This also ties back into the first section about courage. I continued on regardless of the pain, I continued on regardless of the never ending trail of failed investments into treatments, and I continued on regardless of people negatively identifying me as either a person who was supposed to get better but isn’t as if its my fault, or a person that gets left behind due to my inability to move in the world the way I did before. I am not my pain, I am not my injury, I am not what has happened to me. I am the product of the choices, actions and reactions I have made in my life as my personality and heart and soul develop and harmonize over time. I am the product of the people I share closeness with, with whom I spread love and joy. I am the product of the impact I make in people’s lives helping them remember their worth.
It has been a big lesson for me the past 8 years of letting people go, forgiving myself and my body, adapting to a life of chronic treatment resistant pain, and navigating this alone as an immigrant far away from family and support.
To say that I’ve built my life from the ground up is an understatement, as the time I came to set the foundation, and earthquake came and made a 500ft sink hole I had to dig myself out of first.
I want every reader out there to know that there is more to the story than you can ever comprehend. Do not compare yourself to others, do not be too hard on yourself, do not think you are insufficient. Many things in your life are out of your control, but how you act, react and respond are for you to decide. Who you choose to spend your time and energy with is for you to decide. How you choose to honor your truest life path is for you to decide.
Please, set attainable short term goals that get you towards your long term destination, be easy on yourself when you get side tracked dealing with unforeseen circumstances, and most importantly, let people go that hinder your growth.
Fast forward 8 years post failed spine surgery, through a divorce, a pandemic and starting life over all brand new; I’m happy to say I am thriving through it all. I have three facets of my company that I operate out of in different communities, I travel for work and have a bicoastal life I truly enjoy. I still surf and live a life of fitness with adaptations to help reduce my pain and I am always on the exploratory path for green medicine that may bring me out of pain. Noone has it figured out. We are just doing our best. My career is to help you find your best faster and clearer with you.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
For me what’s super important is being able to pull intellect and resources from every area of my life for practical utilization. Resourcefulness and muscle memory of life skills integrating to remind me that I can master my tasks. It is very difficult when we are just starting out on our career path and feeling overwhelmed or uncertain or wobbly on our feet, but to stay focused and remember all the other things in our lives we’ve mastered and how, helps prepare for what’s ahead, even if it’s a totally different concept. If I can take gardening skills my grandma taught me when I was 8 years old and implement them into a strategy plan for my business, that to me is a life skill I highly value.
I also strongly remind people to have patience, even if you know that you have something incredible to offer, if you haven’t put in the face time to build momentum and credibility for people to comprehend it yet, it can be frustrating. You may wish that right off the bat you have 50 people attend your workshop and pay $55 each to come and you don’t want to have less than that, but then 5 people show up, this is all part of the process. The more consistent you become, the more people will send the word of mouth success and get the next event full. It’s hard sometimes to present to an empty room but you have to start somewhere. I would also suggest doing collaborations and alignments with complimentary field practitioners to help get your name out there.
Do market research! Cold call other businesses and entrepreneurs in the area, see what their traffic is like. Ask your clients for feedback. Attend classes and workshops similar to your field to see how others operate. Get out of your own head and see what is working for people around you, then turn it into your own unique gift. You’ll be able to see fairly quickly what socials work, what ground level promotions, what kinds of events, what kinds of collaborators, what kind of target market etc works best for you. Take diligent notes on all means and methods. I ask every client how they found me so I know which form of advertising works best. Trust the process, and push yourself out of your comfort zone!
Tell us what your ideal client would be like?
My ideal client is someone who believes in themselves, trusts the process, and is focused on the transformation. It’s really tough in my field to explain to people I’m not available by the hour for simple mechanical sessions. Not to say I never do those, but it isn’t what makes me feel alive.
My website thoroughly explains that I am here as a guide and you need to be ready to show up and trust, that you must also participate, and that you must do the work outside of our sessions.
There are two main archetypes of people in this world, contributors and consumers. I don’t want consumers as clients. I don’t want people to “need me” I don’t want people to use me to reset and then not have any growth between our sessions.
So! Who is my ideal client?
My ideal client is the person who has been going through those three A’s (Awareness, Action, Actualization). They understand that I am just a complimentary companion along the way of their own personal path. They are already beginning their self awareness studies and practices, and they do not put a price on their growth, but rather value the investment in changing their lives. My ideal client is well aware that we actually know nothing, and we are just out here giving life a try and filling ourselves with love, forgiveness and gratitude. My ideal client is any person willing to put in the work, to receive, to experiment and to grow.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.ritualmetta.com
- Instagram: instagram.com/ritualmetta
- Facebook: facebook.com/ritualmetta
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ritual-metta-a739a8229/
- Yelp: https://www.yelp.com/biz/ritual-metta-encinitas
Image Credits
Daniel Aranda Photography
