We recently connected with Valerie Foster and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Valerie , so excited to talk about all sorts of important topics with you today. The first one we want to jump into is about being the only one in the room – for some that’s being the only person of color or the only non-native English speaker or the only non-MBA, etc Can you talk to us about how you have managed to be successful even when you were the only one in the room that looked like you?
My years of teaching gave me a broad perspective in relating to others, especially as I taught Frankenstein, the novel by Mary Shelley, that explores the question, “What is it to be Human?” Our essential needs, fears, desires, and questions cut across how old we are, our religion, gender, even where we’re from. My secret weapon in connecting to any group of people who “look” different from me lies in reminding myself to trust in our commonalities. And so, when I speak to a senior Jewish group, or a class of Native American junior high students, two hundred participants at a conference, or one reader I just met at a book fair, I try to block out my own inevitable biases to find that thread. It’s there!
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
Both of my memoirs focused on inspirational women of extraordinary strength: a Holocaust survivor, and my brave daughter. The publication of each book also led to my passion for public speaking on their two important issues: combating bigotry, and triumphing over eating disorders. My greatest fulfillment these days comes from the opportunity to enlighten people on what I’ve learned. And when the country (world) went into lockdown due to COVID, I began a daily journal, recording major and trivial details, the serious and even darkly humorous levels of this, because memories are short, and I wanted to capture the realities. It is living history, in the literary tradition. But now, as we emerge from the worst of the pandemic, I am deeply inhaling and exhaling creatively by taking on a new challenge to balance the serious tones of my previous works. Because I so value humor in my life, and those who know me will tell you I’m a funny lady, I’ve decided to try my hand at writing humor. Not so easy! But I have a lifetime of great material, so, we’ll see. To start, I’m interested in collecting people’s disasters in the kitchen, so we can all relate and have a good laugh, and I’ll be the first to share. Bon Appetit!
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
A valuable skill in my life has been in Communication – writing and speaking. As early as third grade, I showed an aptitude for this, but thirty years as a teacher helped me polish my skills and put me ahead in everyday interactions. Whether I’m composing an important business letter, or arguing a position in a dispute, or even writing a thank-you note, sometimes using one perfect word wins the day. That’s why each of my books took five years to write! The payoff is that seeing them published has opened the world to me. Another trait that has sustained me is resilience. I learned this from my mother, who daily modeled the strength and tenacity to keep going, to do whatever was necessary in the moment. Later, when I became a single mom of three, I drew on her example to keep four human beings alive, well, and even thriving.
An essential area of knowledge that has come late in life for me, is in knowing myself. During the stresses of COVID, I began practicing meditation and other exercises in mindfulness. It has brought me a comfort level of long-overdue acceptance, and has fortified me in my everyday life. I am finally embracing what I am and what I’m not. It’s freedom.
For anyone starting on a new path, regardless of their age, my best pieces of advice are those I tell myself every day: One, stay aware, stay curious! Keep learning, because it will keep you from stagnating and aging. It will keep you moving forward. One other tidbit: learn from others’ mistakes. It saves time. Lastly, wear comfortable shoes; it’s (hopefully) a long walk!
Thanks so much for sharing all these insights with us today. Before we go, is there a book that’s played in important role in your development?
Twenty years ago, I read Daniel Goleman’s best-seller, Emotional Intelligence (1995). It had the magic of changing my thinking in an instant, and has continued to bring me insight and wisdom in handling life’s largest and smallest moments, both personally and professionally. I am much better at keeping an open perspective to the “big picture” and understanding others’ gifts and limitations. Goleman’s book gives practical strategies for authentic listening, empathy, and self-regulation, for example. It is an owner’s manual for Life.
Contact Info:
- Website: valeriebfoster.com
- Instagram: @valeriefosterwrites
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valerie.s.foster
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/valerie-foster-86a89a5b/
- Twitter: https://twitter.com/Lostearrings
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPYelb0cD0Y
Image Credits:
All photos may be attributed to Tom Foster.)