BoldJourney is all about helping our audience and community level up by learning from the experiences of others. One of the most important topics we’ve been focused on sharing insights and lessons on is confidence building and self-esteem. Below, you’ll find some brilliant entrepreneurs and creatives sharing their perspectives and advice.
Aisha Taylor
I developed my authentic confidence through failure. After not being able to pass an exam to get my certification to keep the job that I love doing, my confidence was fueled by fear. I was already working in my dream job as an Assistant Principal but was forced to be involuntarily terminated after struggling to pass the certification exam, not to mention I spoke out about a safety issue that brought national attention to the campus. All of a sudden working off that probationary certificate made it easier to get rid of me. Failure teaches us more resilience then we imagine. Read more>>
Onur Yenigun
Developing my sense of confidence and self-esteem took years of hard work, introspection, and growth. I’m first-generation in this country, raised by a single immigrant mother. We struggled as many do, partially filling our pantry on food stamps and taking shelter in government funded-housing. Read more>>
Allex Tarr
My journey with confidence has been wavy. In Los Angeles – as everyone who lives here knows – it’s so easy to fall into the mind trap of “I’m not enough” or “I’m not doing enough”. In a place that’s so full of no’s, rejections, and ‘we’re going to pass on that’s” – and not to mention so full of people on social media seemingly doing it all and succeeding more than you are – it’s also easy to assume that a “yes” is never going to happen. Read more>>
Emily Nemeth
“How did I develop my confidence and self-esteem?” Woof! What a deep question or maybe it just feels a little heavy today because, is our confidence and self-esteemed ever really “developed”? As I am currently going through a season with big and exciting opportunities on the horizon, my risk looks larger than my reward some days and that alone can spiral anyone’s confidence into the drain. Read more>>
Chloe Detrick
I have not always had the amount of confidence that I have today. It is crazy to think that when I was in college I used to get rosacea from even answering a simple question in front of my class. Today, I speak in public settings with ease both at work and in my entertainment industry pursuits. I even perform stand-up comedy regularly throughout Los Angeles. I attribute a large part of my confidence to the assurance I receive from my friends. Especially from my best friend, Trey, who passed away suddenly when he was only 29-years-old. His passing taught me a lot of things, most importantly, that life is too short to care what people are thinking about you. At the end of the day, they aren’t really thinking about you that much at all. Read more>>
MUKA
It’s taken me a long time to get to the level of confidence I have now and although I still struggle at times, I feel very at peace with who I am as a person and an artist. It all started with reaching such a low point in my life that I was forced to work on myself. I started going to therapy and realized that a lot of my self doubts came from traumas in my past that ultimately had me seeking validation from everyone but myself. I’d go through these periods of highs when people would validate me or my work and then when things slowed down, my brain was telling me that I was nothing and my art, my career, my life, etc, were pointless. Once I really accepted that my confidence was rooted in other peoples perceptions of me I was able to really tear that down, piece by piece, and start building my own perspective of myself. My confidence grew and became more stable. Read more>>
Spshelle Faith Rutledge
Regularly I’m told that I exude confidence, self-esteem, and beauty “from the inside out.” I especially get complimented on the beauty of my dark skin. I agree with their sentiments, but I didn’t always, nor did I always receive these comments as people would think. The confidence and self-esteem you see when I walk and talk and how I carry myself came from a long journey of healing that involved me having to learn to see my worth and value. I grew up in a beautiful state but often dealt with being teased or feeling less than others for being dark-skinned and skinny. “Charcoal Stick” and “Black Smurf” are two names people called me outside of my own, and though I laugh now, it hurt then. I entered middle school, high school, and adulthood, having received these words I perceived to be true. I absorbed these words despite the truth my mother and father would often say: “I stem from Black Queens Kings” and a lineage of Buffalo Soldiers. I couldn’t understand why no one else could see what my parents did. I begged my mom for perms, purposely staying away from the sun when I could with fears I’d get darker, and reduced myself to accept “you’re pretty for a dark skin girl” as a compliment. Read more>>
Amber Mayfield
Funny enough I can actually be pretty hard on myself and insecure at times, especially within my work. I just try to be as authentic as I can be. Being in an era of validation or judgement stemming from social media, it can be hard sometimes to showcase and share about projects that I have seen come to fruition. Telling it like it is or not telling anything at all. Sometimes I feel like people won’t understand my all – blood, sweat and tears – went into making it come to life. But overall my confidence comes from my Faith in knowing that everything I am and all that I do comes from someone greater than me. Honing into post-event or post-project “Me Time” helps me to rebuild my self-esteem when I feel depleted. Whether thats through much needed rest or time away with friends and family before I jump back into it, making sure I take care of what I need (mind, body + spirit) is essential to staying confident in what I represent. Read more>>
Sherri Roberts
My relationship with Christ as my Lord and Savior has been the most significant factor that has helped me to develop a healthy confidence and self-esteem. I did not always have this. In my teenage years, I had an eating disorder and struggled, feeling quite unlovely despite the success I experienced as a journalism major in college. After I divorced following more than 10 years homeschooling my children, I got a job as the marketing director for an award-winning plastic surgeon and found myself simultaneously navigating the heartbreak of that experience along with a fast-paced career and the dating world. Read more>>
Lillea Hartwell
What a great question, one that I see many of my patients and students struggle with on a regular basis. I believe–for me at least–it comes from within. It comes from first cultivating a sense of self..From asking the question who I am aside from every other person in my life? When its just me, by myself, what are my preferences? Cultivating that sense of self has actually been a journey as I grow and evolve. And it develops from there, once I knew who I was I could start to embrace that and live from that place. I recognized that by living in my authenticity I would not be for everyone and that I was not here to appeal to everyone, to be accepted by everyone, to be embraced by everyone. I acknowledged that what I am here to do on this Earth is much bigger than being liked by everyone and that in order to fulfill on my service to humanity, it may trigger some folks and it may be met with disagreement. Ultimately, though, it all started with self-acceptance and building from there. Read more>>
Kay Dowdell
Honestly, I give all credit to my upbringing for developing my confidence and self-esteem. I do not have a memory of not feeling like the “it girl” and my family, friends and neighborhood reassured me of this. I have always been such a positive and welcoming person so it was easy to make friends, was a straight-A student and every teacher’s favorite, very pretty, very fashionable and popular so my self-esteem was always high. At a young age, I knew I could do anything and the sky was the limit so my confidence level has always been above average. Fortunately for me, as a teen, I didn’t have social media forcing me to question how I feel about myself, which I think today plays a huge role in people’s ability to feel and believe in their amazingness. These affirming feelings followed me from middle school to high school to college and adulthood without wavering. Of course, life experiences places layer of doubt here & there as you climb to reach goals and imposter syndrome likes to show up to ruffle my feathers but pushing through that is a beatable fight because of my foundation. I am truly grateful for that. Read more>>
Owen Odigie
There is no single moment in which I developed my confidence and self-esteem. Confidence and self-esteem are like muscles, they constantly change and evolve. I think achieving small goals is the key to sustaining a high degree of confidence and self-esteem. Confidence begets more confidence. With each success, your confidence grows. However, I think what’s more important and sustainable is when you begin to separate your confidence from your accomplishments. When you can bifurcate between who you are and your accomplishments, setbacks or failures don’t have such a lasting impact. And once you understand that setbacks are simply an inevitable part of life, your confidence grows because, with each new challenge, you know that even if there’s a setback you can overcome it. And that’s when you’ve truly mastered confidence. Read more>>
Miranda Manley
My assurance and belief in myself stem from the dedication and commitment I have invested into my passion. In my case, confidence was not something that arose naturally, it needed to be nurtured through preparation and effort. For the past twenty years, I have devoted my life to dance and it is the education and training I have received that are the foundation of my self-esteem. Nobody can take away what I have learned and put into my craft. Read more>>
Vito Glazers
Confidence comes from experience. And self-esteem, in part, comes from developing confidence. Usually when you are afraid of something, it is because you are unsure of the outcome. But once you have done something enough times to be able to predict how things will turn out, you will have confidence in taking that action. Read more>>
Gisela Prishker
I honestly think since I was a little girl , I felt very loved by my parents I will say by my all family and then friends ect , I lived my all life with so much love around me , then as I was growing people started seen my work and calling me for pictures like I mention in other interviews my first studio was at the High school ladies room , my friend Lupita was my assistant /promoter /security because i was not supposed to e doing business at school and use the ladies room as my stdio all was a secret because they loved me , they ever find out . Read more>>
Tabitha Alexander-Ball
“Your success will be determined by your own Confidence and Fortitude”. A powerful quote by former First Lady Michelle Obama. I remember growing up in the 90’s watching Halle Berry, Nia Long, Vivica Fox and Queen Latifah on television. If you was a size 10 and above you were considered plus size. I never looked at myself as plus size or chubby wearing a size 11. I was just young and thick. I was very athletic, I played volleyball, basketball and softball. Often I was teased, called names like fat and chubby by smaller female classmates. Of course it hurt my feelings at that time, but it also fueled me on the inside. Real true Beauty starts from within. Your Heart, Character, your Soul and how you treat others is what’s important. Who cares what others think of you. What do you see when you look in the mirror is what my mom use to say. Confidence gives you positive energy, with energy comes determination, when determined you’re capable of achieving any goal you set. God has equipped us all with qualities and talents. Once you have the ability to recognize and tap into your talents, believe in yourself, you will be unstoppable. Read more>>
She-Rōze
Confidence is not something that exists in a steady state for anyone. It’s always an ebb and flow, as well as work in progress. I think it starts, as most things, with a journey inward. What does confidence mean to me? What does that look like? It’s not the same for everyone. Read more>>
Melissa Coulier and Melanie Samuels
Melissa: My self-esteem and confidence come from celebrating others’ wins. I have come to love rooting for people instead of allowing others’ wins to become my losses. Another way I’ve developed and continue to build upon my confidence is through education. I gain confidence when I learn more. Knowledge is truly power and the real key to feeling your best in my opinion. I didn’t always feel this way. I had a lot of challenges throughout my early education, and this made me feel really insecure. However, once I flipped the script and proved to myself that I was capable of gaining more and more knowledge, my self-esteem grew significantly. A couple of things that have also really helped me in this department are dancing when no one is watching (it’s a great boost of endorphins where I can really laugh and enjoy myself!) and practicing Mel Robbin’s high-five habit. This has been a game changer for me to be able to not take myself so seriously and give myself a high-five in the mirror every morning! Read more>>
Vanessa “Nessa” Valencia
When it’s come to developing my confidence I try to look at what I’m good at and build from there. I like to challenge myself with my craft by learning something new about cookie art. Different techniques and methods of achieving a certain look. I’ll even take breaks and focus on painting to get a different perspective on techniques and what I can use in the cookie world. Cookies are just a different type of canvas. I like to look back on what I’ve achieved so far. When I started I gave myself a year to get Nessa’s Goodies off the ground and now I’m walking into my fifth year. I’ve set goals for myself and I plan to achieve them. My ultimate goal is to be on the Food Network and I’ll continue to do what I need to get there. In order to develop my self esteem I’ve learned what I find to be the most important thing and that’s learning to say no. As a small business owner you want to get your name out there but to what cost? Lack of sleep? Health deteriorating? Sometimes saying yes can hurt a business. It’s important to have a good work/ life balance. Surround yourself with good people who movtivate and uplift you as much as you do for yourself. Be your own cheerleader and be kind to yourself. Mistakes happen but they don’t define you. Keep your eye on the prize and above all love what you do. Read more>>
Nicole Vanden Broeck
Developing confidence and self-esteem is a constant and continuous journey. During my career I’ve had moments where I felt confident, but I’ve also had moments where I’ve suffered from impostor syndrome. And I believe it’s exactly the aftermath of learning to cope with those moments, with all the doubt and the uncertainty, that end up making you more resilient and building up your self-esteem. You realize that no one really knows exactly what they’re doing, that it’s part of the human condition to make mistakes and that you can learn a lot from failure. And I think it’s fundamental to talk about it, because going through it, you find that not having it be a part of the conversation is one of the main reasons that makes it harder to overcome. Having to pretend in front of a bunch of people that as film directors we never have doubts or second thoughts is exhausting. There are many motives one can suffer from impostor syndrome, but early studies found that high-achieving women from ethnic minorities in graduate-level education environments were more likely to experience it. So there I was. But in the end, I will always be grateful for the darkness and the struggle, because it taught me that my voice is the main and most important thing I have as a filmmaker. Read more>>
Christina Millar
Confidence can look very different for everyone. I always thought whenever I reached a new level of confidence, that was it and I had nothing else to work on, which I’ve since proven myself wrong. I was adopted from Kazakhstan when I was only seven months old. My adoption is very important to me and is a huge part of my identity and my perspective on life. When it comes to confidence, being adopted held me back. Of course, I don’t look like everybody else and such, but it took a toll on me mentally. Children who have been adopted face different traumatic experiences, regardless of their past care. I had a problem with abandonment as a kid and felt incredibly isolated. I remember I had dreams of being left behind or forgotten, and sometimes I still do to this day. On top of all that, I was an incredibly shy kid growing up. Read more>>
Monique Van
My confidence and self-esteem started at a really young age. My parents played a huge role in how I carry myself. Simple phrases from my parents like, “You make the clothes, they don’t make you”, “BAP ( Beautiful African Princess), or “You are blessed beyond belief and can do anything you set your mind to”, were game changers for me. My parents always have my best intrest at heart and I knew what they were telling me was true. It is so easy to look at other people and doubt yourself. We live in a world where everything is broadcast on social media for everyone to see. So many, including myself, fall victim to comparing ourselves to what we see on social media. Anytime I start to feel insecure, I remember the things my parents told me growing up and it brings me back to reality. Everyday I wake up and I tell myself I am strong and confident and can do anything I set my mind to. True confidence is shown through the good and bad times in life. No matter if everything is going right or wrong, it is important to still believe in yourself and create a space for confidence to live within you. Easier said than done of course, but confidence is like a muscle, the more you work it the stronger it will be Read more>>
Christie Goldstein
Developing confidence and self-esteem is an important part of everyones personal growth. It can be a difficult process for some of us, but with practice, it’s possible to boost confidence and feelings of value no matter what challenges I might be facing. Read more>>
Markeon Edwards
I developed god-fidence and self-esteem but not believing in myself. For years I felt I didn’t feel was valued enough to fit the dreams in my head until my high school teacher introduce us to a project to study humanity. Instead of studying humanity I studied myself because once you’ve done a self inventory, you’ll find humanity. From that moment on, I was able to do a deep dive into my own self awareness that led me to my own god-fidence. Read more>>
Heather Abbasi
Developing my confidence has been an almost life-long journey for me. It was not an easy one given the start I had. I grew up in a house that made me feel stupid, ugly and gross and have many experiences similar to this, having been raised by narcissistic abusers and having little support at school or with friends. Anything I wanted for myself was made impossible because I was belittled or straight-up not supported or nurtured at all. The constant stress caused a lot of weight gain and made it a lot harder to be seen as valid given that society does not understand or care very much for those who have gained a little weight, no matter how valid the reason or if it is the fault of the individual or not. It wasn’t until I was able to see I was in a bubble of dysfunction and hatred at 15 years old that not only do I deserve the world but I am so smart and beautiful as we all are in our own way. That was only the beginning of my ambition to be my most confident self. I still worked at it for several years, reminding myself that the voices of the past are not the reality I live in. After surviving all that through the larger portion of one’s young life, that is still a tough mountain to climb. Read more>>
Meagan Mitchell
I would say one of the most important tools that has personally helped me develop my confidence and self-esteem is by having the awareness of my inner critic & inner dialogue towards myself. I feel that when your’e conscious of your own inner dialogue and don’t feed into the negative stories or beliefs that you tell yourself then your not as easily effected by external interactions with others that you might have perceived as hurtful or judgmental towards you because you have a stronger, grounded foundation of your own self worth, so your not easily triggered. For example, lets say if I were to look at myself in the mirror everyday and only focus on how bad my skin looks or how it’s not good enough etc. then read a comment from someone on social media that I might perceive to be negative about my skin or I go to a photoshoot and the makeup artist says something about my skin. Read more>>
Jean-Paul Flerin
I developed my confidence and self-esteem as soon as I realized more about myself. It’s important to be able to go on a journey to find oneself, and develop on how one should look, feel, and portray themselves to the world around us. Read more>>
Shaniece Marsh
Good question, I developed my confidence and self-esteem by owning every part of me the good and the bad. Once you become okay with who you are as person the rest is history. My self-esteem also flows from my creativity that alone reminds me of how dope I really am lol. Read more>>
Thomas Elias Lockhart III
My self confidence and self esteem came over time. I believe it is definitely from God and being persistent with my craft. It is impossible to build either of these without a firm foundation to begin with. Read more>>
Kim Phan
Confidence did not come from day one. The only thing I had from the get go was a vision of where I wanted to be. Being a permanent makeup artist requires a lot of practice. And through repetition, drawing the same eyebrows over and over on faux skin, did my confidence grow. Seeing even the tiniest of improvements gave me the motivation to push through. And now I am confident enough where I can almost do this with my eyes closed, but don’t worry, I won’t.. Read more>>
Lyanne Diaz
My entire life I was known as a wallflower. I would pray that I was never chosen to read in class, be paired up for a project with others, or to have to sit next to a new person because they might ask me a question. My confidence was nonexistent. However, when you run an event planning business, where talking to people and executing some of their special milestones is my priority, these are important qualities to have figured out. To this day I would say that some of these qualities follow me around. But I have certainly come so far from where I began. Read more>>
Vicky Sasouvong
Wow. I feel like I’m speaking for everyone when I say we are our own biggest critics. I find myself from time to time being so hard on myself and comparing myself to others. It’s been something I’ve struggled with ever since I had my first daughter but didn’t hit me as bad as it did when I had my second. I’ve learned so much about giving myself grace and showing more love to myself on the daily. Speaking more positive words instead of bringing myself down. Your body hears you and your thoughts. Be kind, love yourself and most importantly take time for yourself to feel each and every emotion. That plays a big role in developing confidence and self-esteem. No one is you so own it and show up for yourself every single day! Read more>>
Bren Husher
My mom has always been my biggest supporter and my biggest fan. She still tells me I am the coolest person she knows. I developed confidence at a young age because of her. I am blessed to always have felt very loved. Read more>>
Kay Reed
Honestly realizing that everyone is flawed no matter how much outside beauty that exude & that no one’s opinion of me really matters because at the end of the day everything is fake. Realizing that everything that is glorified in the media doesn’t take away from who I am as a person & that’s what helped me gain & keep the self-esteem that I have today. You always have to believe you’re one of a kind no matter what this world throws in front of you & you’ll always prevail. Read more>>
