Meet Jocelyn ‘Jane Free’ Fee Miller

We were lucky to catch up with ‘Jane Free’ (aka Jocelyn Fee Miller) recently and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Jocelyn ‘Jane Free’, really happy you were able to join us today and we’re looking forward to sharing your story and insights with our readers. Let’s start with the heart of it all – purpose. How did you find your purpose?
Purpose, often used as a synonym for ‘dharma’ in modern holistic communities, is something you can never lose – it is something to remember. The yogis teach that ‘dharma’ is the eternal and inherent nature of reality, regarded in Hinduism as a “cosmic law underlying right behavior and social order.” Buddhists say dharma is the nature of reality regarded as a universal truth taught by the Buddha; the teaching of Buddhism. Google states: ‘it is an aspect of truth or reality.’ I say – It is part of us, purpose is our very existence.

I will tell you, there was a decent 10 year period of time when I was lost in a sea of grief, confusion, depression ane anxiousness. I was unsure of my “use” or reason for being in this world…- as I looked through my grief goggles and navigated my father’s death by suicide, I tried to understand the nature of my existence – why I was ‘brought to life’ at this specific time period? in this specific region? with this specific race? and gender?

I didn’t know about my purpose. And so…. I wondered aimlessly searching with open arms, legs and frequent flyer miles.

For a while I tried to sleep with as many people as possible, because “hey ya gotta find your purpose and maybe if you have sex with the right person- you’ll be in your purpose” or atleast to maybe attain bliss? … As that focus group came to a close in my late 20’s I started to recognize- it wasn’t the lover that was bringing me purpose- it was my self realization in those presencing unions, it was my full bloom – that was the purpose… a glimmer of truth that I saw (and bypassed!) in the great western and masculine search for conquering “the most purpose driven life.”

As the glimmer passed– I decided to keep being of service, pleasing the masses and striving to BE something beyond my current understanding of self. I would give amazing massage therapy sessions, host thousands of yoga students, create businesses, collectives, have kids, get married, enter society as a tax paying individual, produce and host radio shows, podcasts, self publish my book, legitimize my education facility, produce films, act, sing, publish music, produce film festivals and creative healing festivals … all to show myself “I have purpose- I have value.” And still I was missing the mark- I didn’t need to do any one THING to be valued or on purpose.

The illusion, which is unbelievable in retrospect, was that DOING was my purpose, as opposed to BEING. Being my true self: One that is not here to please others, not here to placate, not here to look good, score the lover or make the win. I can be in purpose regardless of my doings. I am the purpose.  Being my true self, one that is not here to please others, not here to placate, not here to look good, score the lover or make the win…. I would be “in purpose” regardless of my do-ings. I am the purpose.

It doesn’t need to look public or private. It doesn’t need to have a 5 star review. It doesn’t even need to be socially acceptable. My purpose is ‘being’, in that way- I am pioneering a life worth loving and participating in. I am open to miracles – especially the ones that I don’t design. No need to get certified, licensed or graduate from here or there- my essence – my presence (esp when not on my phone unless I’m writing this for you right now) my PRESENCE is my purpose. When I stray from it – I find myself back in the throes of grieving, confused, depressed anxiousness.

I am the purpose – not what I do. Looking into the eyes of a stranger with loving kindness. That is my purpose. Holding the door, creating a giggle, opening a new perspective – all part of purpose. Being a place of safety for those I love- that is purpose. Finding new ways to serve humanity authentically – that is purpose. All of which come down to being fully present.

After my last living parent passed unexpectedly in September 2020… my purpose was lost in that sea of grief for a while and it can still evade me from time to time. Being present was extremely uncomfortable. The only saving grace would be to look in the mirror (no not because of proper vanity which I’m sure I have a heap of too.) The mirror is where I could see pieces of my parents, grandparents and ancestors. I could look into my eyes and see them, and wonder about the point of my life. I could nearly see their faces in my reflection. As the end of their life unveiled the purpose of their life to me … it was heinously clear: “YOU are the purpose, Jocelyn !” Being fully Jocelyn – being on fire – a blaze for all to feel the warmth, not allowing insecurities, fears, wounds in the way of this fire. Burning with every fiber of my being… in real time. That is my purpose- the container is inconsequential. The container can communicate a level of self realization… but it is not the purpose.

So I invite you to look into your eyes in the mirror. You will find your purpose. No need to complicate it beyond your beautiful heart pounding inside your chest- purpose is YOU. You are it.

Thank you for hearing my story.

Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?
I have training and certification in massage therapy, reiki, yoga teaching, Meisner method acting, film production, qi gong apprentice , vocal sound healing practitioner and more.

I am the founder & Dean of Panacea Holistic Institute, the only healing arts and Massage Therapy college in Long Beach, California celebrating 6 years in January.

I am a 37 year old woman and mother of 2 daughters – 11 and 6 years old. I am presenting heterosexual with pan-amorous + polyamorous roots. Married to a traditional, hetero-male husband with many layers.

I am the founder and creative director of Jane Free Productions, an international, award winning female led entertainment brand built for self realization and emotional freedom.

I am the co-founder and director of Sacred Roots Holistic Healing Center, celebrating eleven years of service in Long Beach, CA.

I am the producer + creator of “The Self Love Line” podcast that started in 2018.

I am Jocelyn – your local weirdo who believes non-toxic chivalry… is not dead!

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
1. Emotional literacy – personal development and understanding.

2. Loving kindness- compassion for all beings

3. Proficiency in Google docs and graphic design.

Stick with your gut.

Okay, so before we go we always love to ask if you are looking for folks to partner or collaborate with?
Yes!!! I love to collaborate and find new like-minded seekers.

We are always looking for our next students to join the 555 hour Bodywork + Healing Arts program, and or the 111 hour Meditative Sound training.

Currently, we seek 2-3 new holistic Practitioners and Doctors to join our Collective @ Sacred Roots Holistic Healing Center.

We are open to new physical therapists, acupuncturists and chiropractors joining our faculty and director team @ Panacea Holistic Institute.

And on the creative front, I am seeking new musicians and filmmakers to highlight, learn from, collab and explore the infinite nature of potential.

Contact me directly on any of these fronts: hello@janefree.life // or call me at the school: 442 444 2515

Contact Info:

Image Credits
Audrey McGee

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