Meet Ruby Barrios

We recently connected with Ruby Barrios and have shared our conversation below.

Ruby, thank you so much for joining us today. Let’s jump right into something we’re really interested in hearing about from you – being the only one in the room. So many of us find ourselves as the only woman in the room, the only immigrant or the only artist in the room, etc. Can you talk to us about how you have learned to be effective and successful in situations where you are the only one in the room like you?
Being born with a chronic illness, I have always found myself being the only one in many rooms. The very first time I recognized that I would be the only one in the room was my mother reminding me what to say if anyone saw my IV. Soon enough, I became scared of being the only one and ashamed of my identity. In full transparency, hiding became second nature and was very easy for me to do so. My mother revealed the significance of layers and how some are visible while others are not. Being a woman is a layer. Being Hispanic is a layer. Being a part of a low income community that has been labeled as violent is another. Being born with a chronic illness is one and the only layer that was not visible. Since being open about my chronic illness would have only added more false labels, I never wanted to share this part of my life. Without even recognizing it, everything that I did came from the need of being “successful” and no longer being tied to stereotypical expectations. I refused to get extensions on assignments during hospitalizations and began to build my resume at a very early age through various extracurricular activities. From an outside point of view, this seemed amazing yet my endeavors were stemming from the need to hide my identity. As I got older, I desperately wanted a seat at the table to reach the ultimate point of a successful career. In my pursuit of finally being invited at this table, I hid behind my endeavors rather than allow my endeavors to come alive because of my truth. So when I continued to be the only one in the room, there was an overwhelming sense of betrayal. My experiences felt betrayed. This betrayal peaked when I graduated and started launching a career. I was finally at the table yet there was an itch that would never go away. This itch did not allow me to settle as a spectator. No matter how much I avoided leading with my truth , I was inevitably becoming someone who had a very different point of view and was evident whenever I spoke. Pitching ideas and chiming in even when my point of view was divergent was very uncomfortable. To my surprise, there was a nugget of relief which was so powerful it shifted my desire from wanting a seat to needing to be a collaborator. No institution or amount of money can buy experience. When I am the only one in the room I lean into that now. Be a hand raiser, propose new ideas and recognize that you are valuable. When you lean into being the only one in the room, the next time you walk into another, you might find more people who are similar to you. There is power in leading with your differences. It sends ripples and will allow others to also be in more rooms.

Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
I am currently an Associate Project Manager at Team One, an advertising agency. I have the opportunity to collaborate with producers, art directors, media and other teams to bring Lexus content to life. I dive deep in print, radio and media content. Being able to see an idea on paper transform into an ad is the most exhilarating feeling. When I experience an ad in the real world, I feel immense awe for every email, meeting, moments of high tension and the collaboration that happens behind the scenes. In addition, I am a Writing Coach for CoachArt, a non profit arts organization for children within the chronic illness community. I could not be more honored to be a part of a platform that allows children to have agency in a world full of no’s and remove the societal stigmas that have been placed upon them. Recently, my student, Nipur, and I received the Activity of the Year Award. When I met Nipur, I was honored to get the chance to mentor her through her writing journey. She is an incredible writer that really owns her story because she has lived it. I still get butterflies thinking of her writing reaching bigger audiences because another child will see themselves. Seeing their own experiences being celebrated will allow them to find strength in their differences.
When I am not making production schedules or teaching, I am auditioning. After years of auditioning, I booked my very first role as LaRose in LOL Surprise! Winter Fashion Show, which is now streaming on Netflix. In regards to my artistry, I am currently in the process of developing my children’s book, Ruby’s Button, into a musical for the Rosenthal theater. Overall, I am very passionate about collaborating with others within production, working within nonprofit arts organizations and raising visibility for underrepresented communities.

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
As soon as I realized that I was allowing my aspirations to bully me rather than fuel me, the impact was enormous. Becoming self aware of my negative emotional patterns allowed me to recognize that I was using my goals as ultimatums. I would feel on top of the world whenever I accomplished a goal yet declined mentally, emotionally, and physically when my goal would not come into fruition. The moment that I started tracking this pattern I shifted. I started letting my goals change as I would grow as a person. The moment that my goals were no longer set in stone, I never wanted to go back to the old model that was not serving me. When my goals were ultimatums, they were all rooted in fear and I was confusing the fear of not accomplishing my goals for motivation. Allowing myself to shift my goals as I was moving towards them also allowed me to become more open to surprises. For a very long time, I was knocking on the same door and when I finally looked to both sides, I was in a hallway with open doors the entire time. I went from only auditioning to branching into nonprofit, production and advertising landscapes. For a while, this was very hard for me to do. Especially in the entertainment field, we can be programmed to stick to one lane. Being stuck in the same headspace of wanting my goals to look a certain way prevented me from seeing new events for the gifts they were.
When I changed the model for goals and became more open, naturally problems in life transformed into challenges. When I would see problems, I would perceive unfortunate situations as permanent. Seeing them as challenges made events become possibilities. The shift from problems to challenges, made me feel empowered to experience new potentials rather than powerless.
Journaling the thoughts that would arise during my daily meditation allowed me to pinpoint the patterns that I was programmed to. The more I meditated, I began to recognize that thoughts would also be connected to an emotion. I needed to become an observer of myself so that I could shift a draining emotion into a more positive one in the present moment. Overall, by becoming aware of your own harmful patterns and changing your internal dialogue, goals will no longer become ultimatums. This will also lead you to feel empowered by life’s redirections and recognize the gifts that they are.

What do you do when you feel overwhelmed? Any advice or strategies?
When I feel overwhelmed I recognize that I am so focused on the deadlines and have forgotten the why. When I remember that my younger self wanted to do exactly what I am doing now, I feel immense gratitude and this has proven to put my mind at ease. In order for me to maintain this gratitude state throughout the day, I meditate first thing in the morning. I don’t check my emails, the back to back meetings, or the tight deadlines for the day. If I remind myself of the chaos then I will navigate the day with stress. I meditate right when I wake up so that I can be more receptive to the feeling of joy in the present moment. When you are in the midst of chaos and catch yourself becoming stressed, remind yourself of the why. Allow the gratitude to change the stress into excitement.

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