We recently connected with Malona Matthews and have shared our conversation below.
Malona, so great to have you sharing your thoughts and wisdom with our readers and so let’s jump right into one of our favorite topics – empathy. We think a lack of empathy is at the heart of so many issues the world is struggling with and so our hope is to contribute to an environment that fosters the development of empathy. Along those lines, we’d love to hear your thoughts around where your empathy comes from?
To have the ability to empathize with others, you absolutely need to able to put yourself in the place in which they are struggling. We all wear so many hats in this life, and have to play so many parts, there are bound to be days that we struggle with the weight of it all!
I am a Daughter, a Sister, a Mother. I have been a Wife. In having those “titles”, one must understand the family dynamic, and realize that nothing is ever perfect and there are so many moving parts to the machine.
I have felt the heartache of losing my parents. The sting of not having favorable relationships with my brothers and sisters for one reason or another. The absolute joy of having my own children to mold and shape to be the best they can be, and the heartbreak of watching them struggle with the woes of being grown-ups and not being able to help in a manner in which they need you. I have been down the devastating road of divorce, but also felt the empowerment of being able to continue to love like I have never been hurt before!
I am a 17-year Navy Veteran, that has seen the direct affect deployments have on tearing families apart. A disabled Veteran, who has experienced the lasting side effects of 2 wars and seeing things I wish I would have never had to see… things I cannot unsee to this day.
I am a breast cancer Survivor. A fight against cancer is just as grueling as the wars we fight in the desert! The mental capacity it takes to stare death in its face on a daily basis and sound your war cry and go to battle with your own body, only those that fight/have fought that battle can truly understand.
I am a Small Disadvantaged Business owner, who has big dreams for my brand… I have stepped out in ultimate faith that I have found my purpose in this life, and I stand in solidarity with other small business owners, male and female, that are out there following their hearts to do what they absolutely love!
Through all of my life’s trials, I learned that empathy is not a skill that you “develop”, true empathy is spiritual. Having empathy is having the ability to help another person heal from the inside out. I learned that I had to go through my trials and heal from them so that I could also heal others in their physical, mental, and spiritual battles. To be the Healer that I have studied and practiced being and heal as many people as I can, while teaching others how to heal themselves in the process.
Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?
My journey with Massage Therapy started while I, myself, was going through breast cancer treatment. During chemotherapy, I developed Fibromyalgia, and was in constant discomfort on a daily basis. I was looking online about alleviating the symptoms of Fibromyalgia, and I came across a YouTube video about Lymphatic massage, as I was also suffering from Lymphedema from a lymph node dissection. Whie watching the video, I started to practice the massage strokes on myself. They were very light, and slowly began to soothe the painful symptoms I was suffering from. I began to practice it on myself everyday throughout my entire treatment phase – 8 months. Little did I know, it was also helping with healing the scars from my surgeries I had had the previous year.
I went into remission in July of 2017. Unfortunately, my mother was diagnosed with Kidney Cancer in September of that same year. By January of 2018, she was deemed terminal, and the cancer had spread throughout her body very quickly. She was in constant pain all the time.
One day, as she sat in her recliner, I noticed her wincing and crying. Without saying a word, I just went over to her, sat at her feet, and began performing the lymphatic massage I learned online. I massage her feet, her legs, her hands, her arms… anywhere I could get my hands on her. She continued to cry for a bit, and then I finally heard her make a huge sigh… it was only then that I looked at her… and when I did, all she said was “thank you”. I asked her how she felt, and she said that was the first time she had not been in pain since her first surgery in October 2017.
It was at that moment, in my mother’s “true fashion”, she asked me, “Why did you wait so long to do that if you knew I had been I pain all this time??” I knew then she actually felt better! LOL For the next 3 months, anytime she felt the pain coming back, she would just yell,”Malona Marlene! I’m hurting!”, and I came running. She slept more soundly that she had since her initial diagnosis. Her mobility improved, and I was able to massage more areas of her body because we were able to move her in a variety of positions. I was so happy to be able to help my mother and bring her peace that it just filled my heart so!
I had been a part of the Federal government in some way, shape, or form since I was 19 years old. At the “ripe old age” of 46, I decided that I no longer wanted to serve the needs of the Agency, I wanted to serve the needs of the people! I stepped away from my job on a Wednesday, and by Friday I was already trying to heal the world! In July 2023, 7 years after I went into remission from breast cancer, I opened a small bodywork studio in Fayetteville, GA. It’s probably one of the hardest things I’ve done, but I keep telling myself, “Malona, you are BUILT for this!”… because I really am! God didn’t bring me this far to JUST GO THIS FAR! I have so much to do, and I truly feel that I am walking in my purpose, and that I am making the world a better place by doing it! One therapeutic massage at a time!
The fullness I felt in my heart when I would hear my mother thank me for taking her pain away, is the same feeling I get when a client opens their eyes after one of my massages and just simply says “Wow!”
I laugh every time a client asks me, “How do you know just where to go without me telling you where it hurts??”
I tear up when I hear a client tell me, “That was amazing!” – simply because for at least one hour, they are not in pain, they are not worried and stressed out, they’re not angry, sad, or depressed. For at least one hour, I am helping them heal from the things that they are suffering from on a daily basis. Things they don’t talk about. Fears they won’t speak of. Just like it did for my mother. Just like it did for me.
True therapeutic touch therapy is an absolute necessity in life. It keeps us connected. Grounded and centered. It shows we are not alone in this life. Which goes back to Empathy. Being able to heal someone through touch without them having to break down the mental of what’s causing the pain is a gift that I have been graced with and I want to share my gift with the world!!
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
If I could only pick 3 areas that were the most impactful on my journey, then I guess #1 would have to be THE JOURNEY itself. If certain things would not have happened to me, I would have chosen a different path in life. Life’s experiences are sometimes the hardest, but definitely the most valuable. So, #2 would be self-discipline… you most definitely have to SHOW UP for yourself and be your own advocate. Sometimes, it truly has to be YOU OVER EVERYBODY, because if you’re not taking care of yourself, you can’t possibly show up for anybody else. You cannot pour from an empty cup! Finally, #3, it may sound cliche, but having the FAITH of a mustard seed is not for the faint at heart! Just having a little bit of faith requires your whole entire being! My whole life has been spent on having faith that I was going to “make it out” of whatever situation I was put in to break me… and all my life, even before I knew what I was doing, I was standing on that faith!
There is a huge difference in being “Strong” and being “Powerful” – being strong is being capable of producing great physical force. But to be powerful, or being capable of exerting power, potency or influence. My life experiences gave me both – but it was a choice I had to make for myself.
Find out what you are strongest in by looking at what you are being tested the most with. Decide to fight for yourself with everything you have in you. Stand strong in your faith that everything you need to make it happen is already inside of you waiting for you to command it to happen! THAT is Power! You have no idea how powerful you are until you have no other choice but to walk in your power!
One of our goals is to help like-minded folks with similar goals connect and so before we go we want to ask if you are looking to partner or collab with others – and if so, what would make the ideal collaborator or partner?
Being a Cancer Survivor and Disabled Veteran with PTSD, the benefits of massage have been nothing short that amazing. The holistic practices I perform on myself, and my clients are complementary and sometimes are more of what the clients (as well as myself need) to provide that extra nudge in the right direction. With my practices, I tend to lean more into areas that are very near and dear to me and my personal life experiences.
While in Massage Therapy school, I learned as a member of the American Massage Therapy Association (AMTA), that they were looking into partnering with the Veterans Administration (VA) to make massage therapy a complementary service in their pain management clinics. I was over the moon at the thought of working with other Veterans such as myself to be able to help them in such a way! I am currently completing Continuing Education credits (CEU’s) and trying to get my business registered with the federal government through SAMS/WOSB/SDVOB to try and get into the program once it is officially up and running.
I am also looking to partner with or volunteer my time in cancer treatment facilities to practice Oncology Massage for cancer patients. Palliative care, encouragement, just to be around someone that understands their plight and offers an empathetic approach to help care for them.
If there is anyone out there that would allow me to assist or know of any avenues that could help me in my journey to heal the world, please reach out to me! I can be reached at :
Alchemic Bliss – A Bodywork Studio
1415 HWY SR 85
Suite 120, Room 401
Fayetteville, GA 30214
[email protected]
(770)648-4146
Contact Info:
- Website: www.alchemicbliss.studio
- Instagram: www.instagram.com/alchemicblissbdywrkstudio
- Facebook: Alchemic Bliss – A Bodywork Studio
