We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Dean Passarella. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Dean below.
Dean, thanks so much for taking the time to share your insights and lessons with us today. We’re particularly interested in hearing about how you became such a resilient person. Where do you get your resilience from?
My resiliency comes from having a spiritual practice that connects me to something greater than myself and grounds me in love and belonging with other humans. Life on life’s terms can sometimes be painful and hard work does not always lead to a desired outcome or the results I want. I’m learning to let the process be the path and to choose growth when facing disappointments and perceived failures.
Vulnerability is also a huge factor in my resiliency. It keeps my heart open and gives me courage to keep taking risks and going after what I want. Rejection and failure are both unavoidable parts of life and I’m learning to cope by reminding myself that taking the initial leap of faith builds self-love and self-esteem, even if it doesn’t pan out how I wish. Self-encouragement, especially after disappointments, is a wonderful opportunity to build a loving relationship with myself.
I also try to be curious and playful in my ambition and not take everything so seriously. Sometimes what I learn in the process of trying to reach a goal is more valuable than actually achieving it. Passion is often my fuel for that process.
I’ve been recovering from a debilitating spinal injury and central nervous system malfunction for the last 2 and a half years. I’ve had to relearn how to walk, exercise, play my instrument, and do daily tasks. I’m constantly feeling pain and weakness all over my body and can be very discouraging at times. It would be so easy to give up on the idea of coming back to music as a career, or to be afraid to ever do the intense physical things I used to love to do before, such as boxing or hiking. But I’m so passionate about music and movement that I cannot imagine giving up on exploring and pursuing those things in my life.
I have to adjust my process. I have to go slower than I’d like. I have to accept that I have limits that maybe I wish I didn’t have. I have to let myself grieve the loss of how I used to feel and live life. But I also have to believe that it can get better and that I can still create within my limits, or even that I can still stretch my limits but maybe the process is a bit slower and gentler than what I was used to. Resiliency isn’t about toxic positivity. It’s about radical acceptance, changing what I can control, and letting go of the outcomes as much as possible. Courage is not the absence of fear. It’s feeling the fear, naming it, and choosing to take the next few steps forward anyway.
Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?
I am a musician, songwriter, artist, and producer. I’ve had a successful career as a session musician in numerous projects and launched a solo career in 2018 called Wolf Bay. My career got put on hold in 2021 due to a spinal injury that resulted in excessive nerve pain, loss of mobility, and extreme muscular atrophy. I’ve been in recovery for the last 2 and half years focusing on improving mobility, increasing my strength, and reducing nerve symptoms.
I’m finally in the strength portion of my recovery and lifting 20lbs! I’m also building up a live set and plan to return to performing this year, as well as gearing up to go into the studio. I’ve got an albums worth of material that explores loss and grief, trauma release, and learning to let go. My goal for 2024 is to begin recording of my debut record and hopefully releasing it the same year.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
1. Curiosity. I love learning. I love growing. I like to know how things work and how I’m thinking about things. Everything can be learned if we can figure out why we aren’t understanding it. Slow down and break things down to the smallest factor. Embody and integrate that before moving on and adding more complexity.
2. Give up on being perfect. Perfect is the enemy of progress and done is better than perfect. A lot of our expectations are smoke and mirrors that we have come to chase due to social media and marketing. At the end of the day, we are all primates that sometimes wear jeans. Play, create, and don’t be afraid to be who you are today. Growth and complexity will come with time. Don’t hide yourself away because you don’t think you are ready. Even the Beatles wrote some cheesy songs. Keep going.
3. Community. We don’t live in a vacuum. We need each other and collaboration is communication. Find people to build you up and support you when you need it. Be of service so you are also giving back. Individualism is not real in my opinion. I’ve been in bands and I’ve done a solo project. Both have pros and cons. Both need community to actually get rolling. Even if that community is your fanbase, we still can’t achieve anything great by doing it totally alone.
Do you think it’s better to go all in on our strengths or to try to be more well-rounded by investing effort on improving areas you aren’t as strong in?
A bit of both, but leaning more into your strengths. Growth is important. If we avoid our weaknesses we will never improve, but we also cannot be perfect, or even good, at everything. This is where community comes in and why we need each other. For me it looks like co-writing with other producers/engineers because I don’t like wearing a million hats when I’m creating. Sometimes it’s nice and helpful to only focus on the guitar part because someone else is dealing with mic placement, gain staging, etc. I’ve got the basics of engineering down, but I am slow at it and I hate troubleshooting because it pulls me out of being creative. I’m willing to educate myself and practice improves my ability to work faster, but I’d rather have someone in the room that is passionate and really good with the tech side of things so I can focus on creativity, emotion, parts, arrangement, and performance.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.wolfbaymusic.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wolfbaymusic/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WBayMusic/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvK2DIL0AL9s_IT7gB2bMAw
