We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Tabitha Hoskins a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Tabitha, we’re thrilled to have you sharing your thoughts and lessons with our community. So, for folks who are at a stage in their life or career where they are trying to be more resilient, can you share where you get your resilience from?
A large part of my resilience is my decision to succeed. Mediocrity was not an option growing up in a Caribbean household. The push for perfection was strong. As a child, if I earned a 98% out of a 100, the question posed would be “where is the other 2%”. Despite cultural pressure to succeed in all areas I experienced my share of setbacks, heartbreak and tragedy. Thankfully, life’s challenges did not keep me confined to my circumstances. My setbacks empowered me to shift my perspective of success. I have released this notion that success is perfection. For me, success is progress and growth as I journey through life with purpose and intention. The only Ls I take are the lessons life deals; my decision and determination for better fuels me. Even when the odds are stacked against me, I make a decision that I am coming out stronger and wiser!
Perseverance and consistency are my currency of success, which starts with my decision to make progress every day.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
As a Biblical Counselor I have the honor of extending empathy and understanding to individuals seeking refuge from the stressors of life. I serve as an instrument of God’s love to foster a non-judgmental space for individuals to unpack struggles, doubts, fears and trauma.
I am blessed with the unique opportunity to empower my clients to achieve holistic healing. Although I am certified to provide mental health and wellness tools, what I do is ministry. I am careful to reinforce that each counselee’s source to holistic healing is God. The Source to their healing provides all the tools needed, by way of our sessions, support groups, physical movement, medication (as needed), etc. What I love most about my job is the transformation God allows me to witness and how He uses me to reflect a fraction of His love. When I lovingly meet my clients where they are, hold them accountable to their goals and journey with them without shame, I see divine transformation.
As a Biblical Counselor I am equipped to effectively support individuals, couples, families and groups. With my focus on couples and my pending Informed S*x Therapy certification, I intend to help couples transform their marriages from s*xless marriages with a lack intimacy to marriages that reflect Godly love and desire.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
My faith, diverse exposure and support system are most impactful in this journey.
My belief in God’s divine purpose for my life has given me the courage to pursue my unique journey as a Biblical Counselor with a focus is s*xuality (CSTIP pending). Being a Biblical Counselor in the BIPOC community has not been an easy journey. Many within my community view Christianity / Religion as oppressive constructs. Many prejudge my roll as a counselor and it feels limiting some days, but I know different. I often hear from believers that they don’t want to journey with a Biblical Counselor. Although the perspective is understandable, my job as a Biblical Counselor is to journey with each counselee with love, not judgement.
My diverse educational and personal experience give me the mental and emotional dexterity to embrace the reality that the BIPOC Christian experience is not monolithic. Our experience is vastly diverse and complex. I am able to meet my counselees in their current state with understanding and empathy. Sometimes this journey can be heavy, and I am often reminded that there is so much work to be done as I journey with people through their deliverance, and this is where my unwavering support system comes in.
I could not do this work without God, my family, friends and my counselor. Collectively, they keep me grounded when the days are long and hard. They hold me lovingly accountable and encourage me when my spirit is tired. They provide comfort and safety on days when I am not tapping into my divinity and walking purely in my humanity. They remind me that what I do is only through God’s appointment and anointing. I am keenly aware that I will not be successful with this calling in my own strength. My dependency on God is stronger than ever before.
All the wisdom you’ve shared today is sincerely appreciated. Before we go, can you tell us about the main challenge you are currently facing?
An obstacle I face is the heavy caution from my community, fellow BIPOC believers, about Biblical Counselors. Many believers are struggling with spiritual wounds that came from the construct of religion and fellow believers. Most counselees are hesitant to journey with me when they think of the judgement and shame they experienced in church and from Christians.
I am careful to acknowledge their stance is understandable and support their decision to choose another counselor. My sincere posture of support usually catches most people off guard; especially if their exposure to anything religious has been conforming or manipulative. I am free to support every potential client with who they believe they need as a counselor. I firmly believe God divinely appoints every client I journey with.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.essencetwc.com/meettabitha
- Instagram: @TheThriveMission.com
- SoundCloud: https://talkitoutwithtab.buzzsprout.com/
