Inevitably you will find yourself in a room where no one else is like you. They might not look like you, speak like you, pray or love like you or think like you. Managing to be effective in all contexts is an essential part of your journey towards reaching your full potential and so we asked some brilliant members of the community to share their stories and advice.
Rahmad Hawkins
Throughout my life, I learned to be comfortable with myself and be respectfully unapologetic about who I am. I naturally enjoy being around people and I have grown to become a strong and effective communicator which has helped. One way to be effective is to be successful and the way you are successful is to be effective, I learned that being myself, using my creative attributes and an open mindset have helped me think of solutions in a non-conventional way which has been effective for me and has brought success. Throughout the process of creating success, it is key to build meaningful relationships and allow your personality to help you stand out from the crowd. Read more>>
Zerric Clinton
Being the only one in the room that looks like me seems to be a common denominator each time I have achieved significant goals throughout my life. Especially, in terms of attaining college degrees. As an undergraduate art major at a predominantly white institution in the early 1990s I quickly realized the slogan “Only the strong survive” In almost every studio art class I was the only person that looked like me and I felt it every time we had a critique. Read more>>
Dr. Greg Grovey
The great Kendrick Lamar once said, “ Heavy is the head that chose to wear the crown, to whom much is given much is required now.” I remind myself of this quote almost daily because it prompts an immediate change in any negativity that could come from the pressures and stress of being successful in your field or in life period, especially when at some point you can be looked at as a figurehead for a group of people. Read more>>
Erica Murphy
It can be very intimidating when you are the only one in the room that looks like you. For me, it can be uncomfortable, at times, but it pushes me outside of my comfort zone. Whether it be at a networking event, or a conference call at work, I have to make sure that I show up in confidence. Growing up, I have always been the only one in the room that looks like me from elementary school to an Architecture program in college, to working in corporate. Read more>>
Andrea Pickens
This is a powerful question. To be honest, it is an ongoing process. One thing that I am always reminded of when I enter rooms where I am the ‘only one’ that is that I never enter rooms that I’m not supposed to be in. I believe that it is critical to be aware of who you are, whose you are, and what you carry. Read more>>
Marcus Dickerson
I was raised in Kansas City, KS and went to college at the University of Kansas. I majored in English and in my program I was one of three Black students out of around two hundred. I know a LOT about being the only one in the room who looks like me. My skin tone can be stated that I’ve been “kissed by the sun”, and so people always notice me when I walk into the room. Throughout my lifetime a figurative record has scratched when I walk in certain spaces and this is the time that I use to command attention. Read more>>
Jasmin Jackson Williams
I remember and always keep in mind that we are all uniquely beautiful in our own way I never like to be compared to anyone because I realized I am only one of a kind! Replacing Me is Easy to find another one like me just impossible. Read more>>
Jameka Lewis
I am often the only one who looks like me in the room. Being a plus-sized Black woman, I draw attention whether I want it or not. The keys to being effective and successful when you are the only one in the room who looks like you are 1) Confidence. I am extremely confident in my abilities, aptitude and skills and that allows me to stand tall in any environment 2) Resilience. I have learned to celebrate my losses along with my wins because I know that failure is a part of success. My losses have allowed me to fully appreciate my gains and I’ve learned from every setback. 3) Deliberateness. I am very intentional and deliberate when it comes to how I show up in various spaces. Read more>>
Anne Kullaf
I have found being unique in my approach to painting–and specializing in a specific niche–to be an asset rather than a liability. My focus is on creating custom, large scale oil paintings for clients who choose to design their space around artwork that they love. Often times, people take the approach of choosing the artwork last, so that it “matches” the decor. Read more>>
Shay Koloff
I have learned that to be effective in business and to be successful it’s important to be an approachable business personality and having courage to believe in yourself and your brand. To be the only person of color that looks like me in the room usually means that I already standout from my peers. Most of the time being different can bring the spotlight to someone who isn’t like everyone else but I think that’s one of the biggest reasons for my success. Read more>>
Cade Wood
The greatest thing that I have learned along my journey is, you cannot care about what other people think.regardless of anything you do, there will always be people who judge you, make fun of you, or have an issue with what you are doing. People are different, we have different priorities, passions, dreams, and aspirations, so you should pursue what excites you! Read more>>
John Handem Piette
Throughout my life there have been many spaces, from classrooms to work offices, where I was the only person in the room that looks like me, and more plainly…the only black person in the room. I come from a mixed family so pretty much from birth I’ve been comfortable being unique and a bit of an enigma to those around me. Many people can probably relate to that feeling in their own way, but particularly from a racial standpoint it became imperative for me to have a good sense of identity and self-worth to become successful, but that has evolved as I’ve gotten older. Read more>>
Keyara Clardy
In architecture and interior design, it is very rare for a black woman to be in this industry. Once we are in this industry, not many of us are in spaces or opportunities where our individuality and uniqueness are able to shine through our work. We have a unique perspective when it comes to design because many spaces are not designed for us or by us and to live in a world that doesn’t take you into account truly makes a difference. Read more>>
Joseph Herrera
I have learned to be effective by starting off small in my career. The personal training & group fitness field was not very popular when I first started NXTLVL. So I sort of let my business grow with the times. I started NXTLVl 2004 when the internet was gaining momentum and trainers were not on Youtube, Facebook, Instagram, or TikTok. Yelp was not the place to learn about reviews on trainers yet. Gaining new clients was done by flyers, mailers, and word of mouth. Read more>>
Iman Drummond
Let me start by saying, I am 1 of 1 and I own that. When it comes to being effective & successful when I am showing up as own representation can feel like heavy pressure initially. I have been in rooms where I am the only one that looks like me and I take it as a challenge to represent myself well, my family and those look up to me. I have learned to stay on track, come as myself, give myself grace and know that I am here for a reason; it’s my time to shine. This is where the question (which I love to ask others) comes in, “Would you rather be liked or respected?” and for me, I truly rather be respected for who I am, my character and integrity. Read more>>
Igor Sanaev
Since I was a kid I had never fit the “normality” that society creates. Being gay in a very small town in Russia (about 80000 people) was really challenging in a way that I always had to prove I’m better than anyone think I am. That constant “fight-or-flight” mode helped me to develop social and professional skills I’m using now – fast respond and adaptiveness to any changes in life/work etc, ability to read the room and choose tactics accordingly, be able to create unique yet clear look/plan etc. Read more>>
Yaminah Legohn
I’ve learned that when you are the only one in the room that looks like you, believes in what you believe in then you have to stand confidently in who you are. I’ve always been the type that didn’t fit in with the crowd and did my own ‘thing’ which made me stand out. Being the only woman and or only black and woman of color in the room (a numerous of times) taught me to use that to my advantage. I’ve also been the shortest and the only person with my body type and turned that into a win. Read more>>
Eager Zhang
I used to be the only Asian person in a studying or working environment so many times. I don’t think that’s a label that always made me feel awkward. I believe as creative individual, every one of us is empowered by different identity we own, and owning a minor cultural mark by birth is not something I should avoid. A lot of my projects that I made and shared contained Chinese as a language, and how that bilingual background shaped my special way of thinking. Even though for English-speaking audience, it takes some time for people to understand as spectators, I won’t overthink that I’m making people uncomfortable or I have to apologize for it. I think my refusal of being apologetic of my cultural identity is really where I started to become unique and entrance who I really am, and get respects from people around me. Read more>>
Eduardo Aram
Motivating myself to understand what I need to learn to be where I want to be—accepting my flaws and learning the skillset to move forward. I moved from São Paulo to Los Angeles in 2015 to focus on my career here in the US. When I was younger, I studied law. After finishing university, I moved to the music industry, playing for many years as DJ and playing live sets with my band in big rock festivals in Brazil, then deep-dived into film music in 2012 until now. Read more>>
Adrienne Qasabian
That was a really tough one for me to learn, and I had to learn it early on in my career. Working in the hospitality industry and development, I have been the only (young-ish) woman seated at the table more times than I can count. Often times, it’s been a struggle to have my voice heard, and it does take tenacity and really healthy confidence in your own ability to be command the room. You just have to ignore the naysayers, speak up, and push forward. Ultimately, your work and professionalism will speak for itself. Read more>>
Aspect The Poet
The meaning of Effective and Successful, I believe are subjective. To me, effective and successful mean accomplishing goals and showing constant progress as a father, husband, employee, friend, son, sibling, relative and follower of Christ. One of my goals in life has always been to leave some type of contribution towards humanity while setting an example for my children and those around me. Music is just one avenue in which I can make a small but positive difference in this world. Read more>>
JENNY DINH SAFRANSKY
I grew up in San Francisco, a diverse city. I went to school with people from all backgrounds and ethnicities, and grew up eating all sorts of food. This allowed me to welcome in differences. As I began my career, from working in advertising to working in the entertainment and music space at the GRAMMYs, there were not a lot of people that looked like me in these two industries. But I learned to be effective and successful in spaces where I didn’t see a lot of people that looked like me by letting my work speak for itself. Read more>>
Kara Udziela
I was born with cerebral palsy, which manifests for me, as weakness in the right side of my body, a right hand that really only functions as an anchor, and I have always walked with a limp. As a disabled woman who worked in technology marketing for 25 years, I feel lucky to say that only a few times have I felt the sting of rejection or discrimination against my disability. Read more>>
Valerie Hwang
Since childhood, I’ve often been the odd-one-out. In college, I helped form a breakdance club where I was one of the only female members for at least the first year. After I graduated, I moved to Japan, where I was one of probably only two or three Americans in town. These and many other experiences have taught me that appearances and identity are not the only factors that determine your success. Your reaction and your choices based on your experiences determine your outcomes. Read more>>
Bela Levin
I have learned to use it to my advantage and make myself indispensable for those that appreciated what I could offer. As a Latina woman and because of my background, I have the advantage to give unique and valuable opinion from personal and professional experience and from a point of view that is not shared by everyone in the room. Through working with development of media content, I have learned that it can be really easy to build misrepresentation if there isn’t proper assessment of how to show multiculturalism on screen and burn bridges with diverse audiences fairly quickly. Being from South America and having had experience with different cultures make me an important asset, but it was also crucial for me to find a team, partners and co-workers that understood and valued my opinions. Read more>>
Lorena Camargo
I’m in transportation – an industry that is heavily male populated. There have been many times when I’ll walk into a room and I might be one of the few women, or sometimes the only woman. This used to intimidate me but now I’ve gotten more comfortable. I’ve learned that no single person knows it all, regardless of gender. We all have something unique to offer. And this industry thrives on collaboration and partnerships! So, remember to breathe, believe, and boldly step forward. Claim your rightful place at the table, speak up, share your thoughts. You are a valuable contributor with your own distinctive strengths and bring tremendous value! Read more>>
Camille Jay Cruz
There are many times I’ve been the only women in the room, the only person of color, the only Black person, the only Latina. I’ve learned not to shy away from my differences but to empower them. I had to learn to speak up and to be not be afraid if no one in the room understands what I mean. I trust my life experience and know what I feel is valid. I know that there are people in our audience, or within the audience we are trying to reach, who think like I do and want to see the same things I want to see in media. Read more>>
Nikki McCauley
Having been raised in a military family, declaring that I wanted to be an artist felt pretty scary. I always painted and performed as a child, but these weren’t considered as options for a career in my family that was filled with Math and Science-minded people. When I finished High School, I was awarded an Air Force ROTC scholarship in Psychology. Which meant that I would be an Air Force officer when I graduated college. And as much as I enjoyed studying Psychology, after two years of marching and doing the very non-military thing of questioning every command given to me by a superior, I knew a future in the military was not a good fit for me. Read more>>
Septimius The Great
Growing up as a only child in a single family home of an functioning alcoholic mother, I had a lot of time to think, imagine and dream. My personality was big but only to people that I knew or became comfortable around. As I grew older, I had no reference to fear and no limits to curiosity, which allowed me to come out of my shell and explore. I remember my high schools years the most because was there that I began to flourish and shape my curiosity. Fast forward to recent times, I created a brand: Music Artist, Actor, Model and Entertainer – Septimius The Great. Read more>>
Dilcia Guzman
I will be completely honest here: despite being the only one in the room that looks like me for a good amount of my formative years, it never gets easier. I have spent years feeling isolated in the fact that I was the only one in the room for long time, but it wasn’t until 2021 that it all changed. During December of 2020, I unfortunately had a relapse; i tried confiding in a close friend about it, but i was brushed off by them. They even had the nerve to say I was faking my relapse for their attention, and that was the moment I realized i needed to focus on myself and that i would need help. Read more>>
Rupali Ingle
As a child I was into sports and art. Being in sports helped me to fuel up my drive and learn to accept the defeat as well learn to appreciate the win. It made a tough cookie! The strength and the confidence that I possess today comes from my own belief in myself. We need to start from believing in ourselves, because if we don’t then how will anyone else believe in us. Accepting and knowing what we truly are and finding our soul’s true calling really helps in making dreams come true. I have mostly always been the youngest in the several rooms that I had the privilege of being a part of and I think the key is to stop comparing yourself to others. Read more>>
Chia-Ming Ro
My educational and (first) career background is in accounting and finance, where most did not look like me in the board rooms. I had to build confidence and recognize that I have unique skills and experiences to bring to the table, especially because I was different. I listened more than I spoke to understand different perspectives and build stronger relationships. Then when I did speak up, I was supported by the strong relationships I built. Read more>>
Amalia Santa Maria
This question hits a nerve, especially because I’m in the film industry, so the way everything looks is even more significant than in other industries. The thing about the entertainment industry is it likes everything to fit in a box very neatly, and anything that doesn’t fit perfectly into that box’s stereotype gets dismissed immediately. I’m a light-skinned Latina actress and have always been told I look either German, British, or Russian. Even in my native country, Colombia, I would always get called in to play foreigners. I think in my entire career, I’ve only played one Colombian character. What drives me up the wall is the entertainment industry often makes a character’s ethnic background their entire personality, which I find is so limiting to storytelling and makes the possibility of world building that much smaller. Read more>>
Roma Kong
Growing up I was one of many: I was one of many other girls in my all-girls private Catholic school, I was one of many other girls in Ballet school, and I was one of many other students at my undergraduate Alma Mater. However, I was the only one in my entire school going to professional Ballet school every single day from the age of 11, I was the only girl in Ballet school that preferred Hip Hop and Jazz dance to Classical dance, and the only one in my undergrad cohort to dream of becoming a successful professional filmmaker in Hollywood. My deep love for film and entertainment, my dedication to dance and performing, and my “too big for an Asian-Peruvian girl” dreams, often got me labelled as the eccentric one, the nerdy one, the over-the-top one, the rebel, the crazy dreamer… I was, more often than not, “the odd one out”. Read more>>
Ruby Barrios
Being born with a chronic illness, I have always found myself being the only one in many rooms. The very first time I recognized that I would be the only one in the room was my mother reminding me what to say if anyone saw my IV. Soon enough, I became scared of being the only one and ashamed of my identity. In full transparency, hiding became second nature and was very easy for me to do so. My mother revealed the significance of layers and how some are visible while others are not. Being a woman is a layer. Read more>>
Justin Avery
It goes without question that as a young, black male – I have had to work extra hard and put forth additional effort to prove myself. I have been able to accomplish this by being genuine to myself and to others. I know what I know, and what I don’t know I will seek out knowledge to understand it better. I have never claimed to be something I was not. What makes my story unique is that I have solved very complex problems in my professional career that have made others see beyond the color of my skin and start appreciating the processes flowing through my brain. Read more>>
