We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Kristine Palmer. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Kristine below.
Kristine, first a big thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts and insights with us today. I’m sure many of our readers will benefit from your wisdom, and one of the areas where we think your insight might be most helpful is related to imposter syndrome. Imposter syndrome is holding so many people back from reaching their true and highest potential and so we’d love to hear about your journey and how you overcame imposter syndrome.
I have a strong aversion to the concept of imposter syndrome. By definition, it is lacking the confidence in one’s own skills or value and therefore, those who suffer from it feel they may be found to be a fraud. This tells me that what they are putting out in the world doesn’t feel authentic or, they think they need to have whatever it is perfected before they share with others. I completely disagree with this and think that one learns and grows much faster through sharing the journey as you go along, not after you feel you’ve arrived. I think the concept of imposter syndrome stems from the advice to ‘fake it ’til you make it’ which also seems counterproductive to me. Genuine confidence and self-worth, comes from an accurate and authentic understanding of oneself and a willingness to acknowledge that we are still learning. This requires extreme self-awareness and vulnerability.
To grow in self-awareness, we need to discover and acknowledge our strengths and weaknesses, passions, and areas for growth. How do we do this?
Start with seeking out honest feedback: Constructive criticism is a powerful tool for personal and professional development. Seek out individuals who are willing to provide regular, candid feedback on both performance and behaviors. Celebrating successes is important, but so is a commitment to changing behaviors that hinder positive relationships.
Next, practice vulnerability. Sharing feelings and failures is a transformative practice. It’s a step towards letting go of perfectionism and fostering connections with those who, like me, must seek permission to be imperfect and to fail. Seeking out support for discovering and improving in the areas we need growth is another way of being vulnerable. Allowing others who can help us see those parts of us is a huge step towards improving weaknesses.
Finally, cultivate gratitude, self-compassion, and forgiveness. Embracing gratitude for the positives, showing compassion to oneself in times of struggle, and practicing forgiveness are crucial elements of a healthy self-esteem journey, The honesty and authenticity that is critical to practice these skills leaves no room for imposter syndrome to creep in.
My story: My most recent challenge in fighting off imposter syndrome was entering the equestrian world in 2021. Moving from a suburban community to a 50-acre property in Marble Falls, Texas, brought about a steep learning curve. With no significant prior horse experience (I had only ridden annually at summer camp in my youth), caring for horses daily and learning to ride again was a far cry from my previous lifestyle.
As I immersed myself in this new experience and set out to learn as much as possible, while also creating a business around horses that could help others and support my new, rather expensive habit. It would have been easy to believe I’m not qualified to teach others because I don’t know as much or have as much experience as the other equestrian businesses around me, but choosing to grow in self-awareness, vulnerability and gratitude helped me to discover areas of weakness and strength, seek out further education and support, and recognize that I am so darn lucky for the opportunity to engage with these incredible horses daily and share the opportunity with others who can also benefit from interacting with them.
Working with horses was like having a mirror reflecting aspects of myself that needed refinement. One day in the round pen, a more experienced Equine Assisted Learning facilitator asked me to have my horse move around the pen along the rail. I put my energy toward her hind end to get her going and reminded her to stay out and keep moving with more energy every couple of steps. The facilitator asked, “Since she is doing what you asked, why do you keep reminding?” Immediately I recognized my behavior as nagging. She went on to say, “Where else in your life do you find yourself doing this?” Of course, with my kids! Upon further self-exploration, perfectionism, control, and micromanagement were traits I recognized in myself that I really don’t like. This was a moment of self-awareness and allowed me to recognize an area for improvement in my horsemanship as well as how it applied in my life. Recognizing these behaviors that don’t serve me well in relationships was just one of many realizations I’ve had while interacting with horses.
Horses are wonderful givers of feedback, because the feedback is immediate, honest and non-judgmental. They don’t lie, and they can’t pretend like humans can because of our other motivations (to protect the relationship, the other person’s feelings, etc.). With horses, trust is built slowly and can be shattered with a single misstep. Learning from these amazing animals, I committed to not just developing myself but also sharing this personal and professional development opportunity with others.
Teaching what I’ve learned through working with horses, and guiding others down a similar path, has been my way of overcoming imposter syndrome. Every challenge of confidence becomes an opportunity to grow and develop myself as well as to help others in their journey toward authenticity and confidence.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
At Horse + Bow, we partner with the most magnificent animals in the world– horses. They teach us how to be better humans at home and at work. We focus on providing business teams and other groups with the opportunity to develop their skills in leadership, communication, problem solving, mindfulness and creativity. Groups build stronger bonds of trust and deep, authentic connection because of what they experience together. They leave feeling energized and motivated for the journey ahead. It is such a privilege to partner with horses in this way and allow others to discover the incredible things we can learn through interacting with them.
We have many opportunities to participate in programs at Horse + Bow. Most commonly, group leaders reach out and we discuss the goals for development. We can plan a light, fun and engaging day or it can be a deep, meaningful, thought-provoking day, and anywhere in between. We’ve had business teams come for team building activities and we’ve had yoga studios come for mindfulness, breath work and meditation exercises. Whatever the goal, we can customize the day to reflect the needs of the group and have a truly unique experience building connection between horses and humans. Reach out to [email protected] to plan your day.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
Having a passion for learning, a growth mindset and a generally optimistic attitude has been most impactful in my journey. To best develop or improve on these I encourage you to start practicing some habits of happy people:
1) Try new things
2) Spend time outside
3) Be more physically active
4) Spend time with others you with whom you want to build a closer relationship
5) Establish a practice of gratitude
Amazingly, we do all 5 of these things in our experiences at Horse + Bow and I believe it has led to a love of learning, strong growth mindset and happier life for myself and my family.
Who is your ideal client or what sort of characteristics would make someone an ideal client for you?
My ideal client is an open and curious team leader who wants to invest in the development of his/her team so that they can skyrocket their productivity and become the top performing team in the company.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.horseandbow.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/horseandbow/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/horseandbowatx
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/97446099/admin/feed/posts/
- Yelp: https://biz.yelp.com/biz_info/vjOkiI_LnHGZxf-6sQj_Ig
