Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Polina Boyd. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Polina, we’re thrilled to have you sharing your thoughts and lessons with our community. So, for folks who are at a stage in their life or career where they are trying to be more resilient, can you share where you get your resilience from?
We live in an ever changing world, which is absolutely normal. Nothing in nature remains the same, after winter comes spring and then summer. Change is constant. What helps me to remain resilient when things get hard, is the belief that “this too shall pass”. I try not to apply the meaning of permanency into anything. As long as I’m alive there’s always a chance to make things better and create something newly.
When I was 25 I lost my sister. She passed away due to a sickness. Her death was absolutely a life altering moment in my life. When you face so early on in life something as tragic as a loss of your sibling you can’t walk away from it being the same person. Her death taught me so much. I realized how fragile our lives really are. It stopped being conceptual for me and became very real. At that moment on my sister’s grave I promised to live this life to the fullest, for both of us. I promised to never give up. That promise became the foundation of my strength and resilience. For as long as I live I’ll do my best to be an example of those qualities. I think the key is always in the meaning. People can always look at the same thing or the same event and apply totally different meanings. You can face war, as the people in my home country of Ukraine are doing right now, and still despite the odds find an empowering meaning. I don’t think that other people or circumstances can give you anything but an opportunity to be somebody. And who you choose to be is totally up to you. You can chose to be strong, courageous and brave. You can look at it as an opportunity to unite and that meaning would create a totally different background for your existence.
The same applies to divorce, loss of a job, betrayal, etc. You can look at it and think that it’s the end and that would be your meaning that would immediately effect how you feel. Or you can choose to look at it as a new beginning or an opportunity to create something. Let’s take for example a divorce (because I also have been through one), when you’re in the midst of it you have a choice: to look at your husband as the source of your misery – and that will immediately make you a victim. Or recognize that you are NOT a victim, because YOU are the source! No one thinks your thoughts – you do! That realization back when I was getting divorce helped me to go through it feeling empowered rather than disempower and at the affect of it.
I think that’s where I get my strength and resilience – in knowing that not only do I have a power, but I AM the power. I am the power that creates the meaning of everything that is happening in my life. So I’m deliberately choosing the meaning that empowers me, not disempowers me. I carefully choose better feeling thoughts.
People often say: “There’s a light at the end of a tunnel.” I look at it differently, I think there’s no need to go into the “tunnel” in the first place! There’s no need to create a disempowering meaning. Because everything is your creation anyway.
It’s like the story about three bricklayers. After the great fire of 1666 that leveled London, the famous architect, Christopher Wren, was commissioned to rebuild St Paul’s Cathedral.
One day in 1671, Christopher Wren observed three bricklayers on a scaffold, one crouched, one half-standing and one standing tall, working very hard and enthusiastically. To the first bricklayer, Wren asked the question: “What are you doing?” to which the bricklayer replied: “I’m a builder. I’m building the wall.” The second bricklayer responded: “I’m working to feed my kids and my family.” But the third bricklayer, the most productive and enthusiastic, when asked the question, “What are you doing?” replied with the smile: “I’m a cathedral builder. I’m building a great Cathedral to The Almighty”.
As we can see the men were doing exactly the same thing, but the meaning behind was different. I think right now more than ever it’s crucial to find an empowering meaning for your existence that would make your life worth living. My meaning always keeps me resilient:)
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
I was born and raised in Ukraine. When I was 16 I won a national televised beauty contest, during which I got scouted by my first modeling agency. That was the beginning of my career as a model. I started to travel the world, shooting for famous magazines (Vogue, Harper’s Bazaar, Cosmopolitan, etc.) walking runway shows and appearing in Worldwide TV commercials.
During that time my sister got critically ill.
Though from the outside it looked like I was enjoying being a model (which I absolutely was) the true moving force behind my desire to work was to help my parents to pay my sister’s growing medical bills.
When you are dealing with something as huge as the fight for your sister’s life – you mature real fast. Very early on in life I learned the importance of health and wellbeing.
Witnessing the suffering of my own sister, drove me to read everything I could get my hands on about psychology, human behavior and overall wellness.
Even though 10 years ago we tragically lost the battle for my sister’s life – she still lives on through my commitment to help other women become a healthier and happier versions of themselves.
My own success in modeling was a very exciting part of my journey, but I reached the point in my career where I wanted to share my knowledge and expertise. I decided to create a model management company to help other girls build their own careers in a healthy manner, while handling the pressures of the industry with strength and resilience.
I was always aware of my own struggles and battles, but after talking to so many girls who I began to manage – I was shocked to find out how much suffering there was among them. Again and again I realized that pretty on the outside doesn’t mean you are happy on the inside. The majority of them had very low self-esteem, doubted themselves, had an ongoing self-hatred dialog and didn’t have a healthy lifestyle when it came to eating and exercising.
It’s one thing when you don’t see a problem and it’s a totally different thing when you PRETEND that you don’t see the problem. I saw it, I knew I couldn’t step over it. I knew I had to do something about it. So I decided to put everything I’ve ever learned (I studied psychology in University) and found useful (all the tips and tricks that I’ve learned during 15 years of modeling) into an online program where I can coach these young women. My goal was to prepare them physically (some of them were asked to lose weight and tone their muscles) and mentally before they get signed with an agency.
During the course of my 2 week program, I was inspired to hear from the participants just how impactful it was and how much it was changing their lives. The real surprise to me was that many were begging me to run the course again so that their moms, sisters and girlfriends could transform their lives as well.
So I did it again, and then again, and then again… To this day I have led 24 online programs, that transformed the lives of more than a thousand women aged 15 to 65.
Over the course of 2 weeks we work together daily, creating a healthier version of themselves. And by “healthier” I don’t mean just eating healthier – it includes that, but is not limited to that.
I take a holistic approach to the person as a whole, finding a balance in all parts of your life. There is no point in focusing on just one aspect and expecting meaningful changes to the entirety of your existence.
A healthy relationship with yourself and others, healthy self-esteem, exercise and the daily rituals, all work together in my course to lead participants to the results they desire. A vibrant and joyful life, productive and healthy. I strongly believe that once freed from their own constraints and limitations, women can create an absolutely different reality for themselves. I don’t think women need fixing, all they need is freeing.
After coaching hundreds and hundreds of women, I’m happy to say that my clients have started to live lives of their own creation. I had a client who’s success after following my course was celebrated on the cover of Forbes magazine, clients who have created businesses and found new careers. Clients who have fallen in love with themselves and their significant others, marriages saved and friendships strengthened. And yes, clients have transformed their relationships with food, lost weight, been rejuvenated and got in touch with their physicality.
I currently offer a one on one coaching for women and men.
If you are ready to transform your life, you can email me on:
[email protected]
You can also follow me on Instagram to find out about upcoming events : @polllina
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
When I look back I can definitely say that the three qualities that were most impactful in my journey were and still are: integrity, honesty and love.
1) Integrity. I sincerely think that without integrity nothing works. Integrity is like gravity. Every time I drop a pen it will fall to the floor – it’s the law of gravity. Same with integrity. Every time something isn’t working in my life – I look to where I may have lacked integrity and everything immediately becomes clear.
2) Honesty. I approach everything in my life with radical honesty. I look at myself with honesty. I talk to others with honesty. There is a saying: “The truth will set you free!” So start with it.
3) Love. I think love is the moving force behind everything I do in life, as it should be. Every time when I stop feeling love towards myself or others I pause and take an honest (back to number 2) look at my life. I indicate why I’m withdrawing my love and where I stop being the woman of integrity.
What advice do I have for people who are early in their journey?
Be a person of integrity. Honor your word, because you are your word. You create as you speak. You have a relationship with your word just like you have a relationship with other people. If you told John that you’ll meet him at 8pm, and then you didn’t show up, after a few incidents like that I doubt that you and John will remain friends. And yet when it comes to keeping or honoring your word to yourself – we don’t always have the same relationship.
People often say “Talk is cheap!” I disagree with that. I don’t think that talk is cheap. It’s people who cheapen their talk. If you honor your word, you’ll create a totally different relationship with yourself and others.
Integrity is an invisible foundation on which everything stands. You can’t build the house without solid foundations. Same goes to business, marriage or as a matter any relationship – you won’t be able to build a business if you are not in your integrity.
When I say “integrity” people immediately think about keeping your word, but it’s not just that. Integrity has two components to it. Firstly honoring your word. Secondly (that many people forget) you have to keep an inspiring context for your existence. These two rules helped me to overcome a very difficult moments and create a fulfilled and exciting life that I have now.
Is there a particular challenge you are currently facing?
We live in a world where social media bombards us at all times with promises of the quick fix, the instant weight loss, the get rich quick guarantees and the shortcut to love and marriage. These empty promises shout loudest and are very seductive, misleading many towards ongoing disappointment and the same outcomes. My challenge is to lead people back towards the reality that real positive transformation requires commitment, honestly and consistency.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.polinaboydcoaching.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/polllina/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/polina.boyd/
Image Credits
Warren Remolacio Jean-Claude Vorgeack Leah Huebner Brent Bailey
