Meet Von Kochar

We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Von Kochar a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Von, we’re so excited for our community to get to know you and learn from your journey and the wisdom you’ve acquired over time. Let’s kick things off with a discussion on self-confidence and self-esteem. How did you develop yours?
I perceive confidence and self-esteem as mental constructs, not realities. This immediately puts them in the category of graspable and practical rather than some inherent quality or acquired characteristic. Confidence and self-esteem are concepts that can be studied and mastered. They are tools not goals. They’re not acquired and they don’t automatically become a new behavior. Striving for them is like striving for a drought. The word “confidence” stems from Latin “con fides” – “with faith”, so its very origin implies a lack of certainty of future outcome which requires to be gaped through a leap of faith, in other words acting without full knowledge, an acceptance of not knowing, forced humility. It’s an invitation to action with the assumption that right steps will lead to a desired and earned outcome.
Have you ever not been confident or needed confidence as the smartest guy in the room? You needed it when you presented a possible outcome to the smartest guy in the room. What the smartest woman in the room exudes is what we call confidence, but what she really exudes is calm because of an earned knowledge of the outcome.
This is why I do not focus on developing confidence but on becoming competent because confidence is a symptom of competence. To project confidence is a misuse of auxiliary means; it’s like using a flashlight in a desert at high noon. In the same way, to fixate on how low or high one’s self-esteem is in general is like using a compass in outer space. There is no reasonable measurement for self-esteem, it will always be what you assume who you are based on what you think who you should be. However, self–assessment can be a functional navigational tool to reach a real destination. Evaluating your particular actions in particular situations and a simple assessment of facts of the consequences of your actions will give you a true value of yourself and nobody can take away or add to it, including yourself if you’re honest. Otherwise, it’ll be highly advantageous to have a very low self-esteem and manifest lack of confidence in an argument with a rocket scientist if you’ve never studied physics.

Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?
I studied drama and directing at Yerevan State Institute of Theatre and Cinema in Armenia and philosophy at Pontifical University of St. Thomas Aquinas “Angelicum” in Rome. I write stage plays, essays on metaphysics and I wrote extensively on the American Civil War. Long before the pandemic, I experimented with a new form of theatrical play- Projection Play- in which some key characters appear only remotely, through a recorded or live projection. I believe it is a helpful and refreshing approach to theatre in the age of remote communication.
In film, I worked as a camera operator, editor and director on productions ranging from theatrical films to Emmy winning television, international co-productions, stage shows and multimedia projects.
I usually write and direct my films and on some occasions act as a co-producer. In my films, I try to combine my knowledge of film, philosophy and theatre. My latest film “Italian for Travelers” is a modern day spy thriller structured as a classic Greek tragedy. It had a successful festival run, was dubbed in many languages and was picked for distribution, now available on many platforms worldwide.
The film I’m developing now “Hymn of the Pearl” is inspired by an eponymous mystical tale about a young prince’s mission to retrieve a pearl guarded by a serpent in a faraway country. The prince forgets his mission, falls asleep, and becomes immersed in the life of a strange country, and he has to be reminded of his aim by a letter sent from his original kingdom. He then successfully takes the pearl and is rewarded with the return of his robe, and the story ends with him about to meet the king of kings.
Here again, I intend to place this ancient myth about soul’s fall and redemption in a modern setting and tell it through a popular genre of suspense and mystery.

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
Three qualities that I found very helpful in my journey are finishing what I started, being on time and genuinely trying to understand the role and expectations of others on a common path. I found these qualities very simple to comprehend but very hard to implement. Just think about how much planning it takes to be on time. There are always excuses to be late, in LA there is always traffic, and I’m sure there is always something preventing you from being on time anywhere. Yet, above all, being on time it’s a sign of respect and so is understanding the expectations of others and acting accordingly.

What was the most impactful thing your parents did for you?
Conveying a full understanding that nobody in the end cares about your failure or success as much as you think. You’re on your own, whether you’re hated or loved.

Contact Info:

Image Credits
1. Rehearsal with actress Hannah Elder
2. Award ceremony in Kota, India
3. With Lincoln re-enactor Donald Ansell
4. With the founder of BeBe Many Mashouf
5,6. On the set of Italian for Travelers
7. Filming of Heal America with Ted Hayes
8. With German screen legend Udo Kier and his plastic horse Max
10. With daughter Francesca

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