We were lucky to catch up with Manisha Chulani, LMFT101388, NCSP39376 recently and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Manisha , really happy you were able to join us today and we’re looking forward to sharing your story and insights with our readers. Let’s start with the heart of it all – purpose. How did you find your purpose?
I believe my purpose is constantly evolving—in terms of not only my career, but also my sense of self. As a child, I remember going to the museum with my family and seeing an exhibit about the galaxy eventually dying off. I got so scared. I didn’t understand that this wouldn’t likely happen in my lifetime, but it still got my anxiety going. My family is also very spiritual, and they liked to tell other family and friends that they just knew I would go to college. I also remember sitting down together and watching VHS tapes films about cousins’ and family friends’ weddings, and we’d start planning for my wedding too.
With all of this in mind, being in a helping profession—in service to others—was a natural progression based on some of my earlier experiences as an introvert observing the world, dealing with bullying, yet growing up in a compassionate family. I did have to learn to find my own path, though. For example, I started off as a speech therapist major as an undergraduate because my friend told me to choose a degree that would lead to a lot of money. Eventually, I realized I preferred the human connection of psychology, which became my new purpose. I am now a private practice therapist, and today I’d say my purpose involves navigating certain identity struggles. Career-wise, I believe I’m doing what I am meant to do, but in other areas of life, I haven’t met the timelines I previously set out for myself. For example, I don’t have children yet, and that aspect of my identity has been difficult for me.
I do believe, though, that some of these challenges have fueled my creativity. I might write fiction or host a healing circle, and I find peace in these activities. They help me connect with others who feel the same way I do—about motherhood or really anything at all. They’ve played a key role in helping me accept that time isn’t rigid, and that human milestones are fluid.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
I am credentialed as a school psychologist and therapist. I also believe in divine intervention, and as a result of this, I gave up my school psychology job last year to become a full-time private practice therapist. I’ve found and nurtured connections everywhere I look, including through the office that I currently sublease. While I am still trying to define my identity, I appreciate being on a path where I can help clients find their own identity and purpose. This focus also helps me empathize with clients—because often, I find I’ve experienced similar emotions myself.
For example, I had a relationship that became toxic, and I turned those difficult feelings into art, which helped me discover acting. Since I was young, I’ve expressed my emotions through poetry (especially the feelings surrounding the loss of my mom and the concept of death in general). I also like listening to music. In my experience, music can help calm the soul, and I admire how some artists have managed to make art from their pain. I always think of Taylor Swift, who made her shortcomings not only a way to connect with others, but also a catalyst for financial success. (Talk about a savvy businesswoman!)
Most importantly, though, art has helped me heal. In that realm, I even set up a healing circle in my neighborhood, and it made me very happy to see people expressing themselves together. During the circle, they had the opportunity to be vulnerable, share poems that they wrote during trying times, and open up in a safe space. Someone even performed a dance that they’d never before shared with others.
With that, in my psychology practice, I’ve come to focus on the concept of identity. I often feel like my identity is in flux—that it’s ever-evolving—and today I make a point of helping clients deal with some of their own identity issues. I feel very blessed that I have found my calling.
If you’re interested in learning more, please check out my website (where you’ll also find a work of short fiction that I wrote, which was really cathartic for me). I would say my brand involves both healing and being a healer.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
The first thing is that looking back, when things have ended or I have had to pivot, the shift often led to better things. For example, most recently, it led me to starting my own business. I know it’s easy to feel sad when things end, but sometimes it’s a sign that the circumstances just weren’t right. In my case, I considered it a sign that my previous position just wasn’t meant for me—because it didn’t lead me to my purpose.
I’ve also learned that it’s okay to try things at a small scale. There’s no perfect time to write a book or host a creative circle, but there’s nothing stopping you either. And the good thing is that you don’t have to wait for the perfect time. You can always take on a side project and just see what happens. That’s definitely more fulfilling than procrastinating.
Finally, I believe in synchronicity, but I have also learned that putting myself in certain positions of connection—like networking events—have led to great things. These things include certain ideas in terms of therapy, or the space where I am currently subleasing my office. Since I wrote my novel, I also met a man named Havish who introduced me to the Bold Journey. Putting myself in these situations of connection has been key in my journey, and I encourage others to do the same.
What was the most impactful thing your parents did for you?
My family came from a lower-middle-class background, and they were loving and compassionate. The goal was for me to go to college, but unlike many other Indians, I could choose whichever profession I wanted—and even the college that most appealed to me. When I was sad that I did not get the financial aid that I wanted one semester, and nervous about getting in, my dad encouraged me to have faith. He knew that I was sensitive about timelines, and that I often felt anxious or even judged, and he was always sensitive to that.
My brother was also supportive. When I found a contract job in Michigan for a few months, and the recruiter asked if I wanted to come back for the next school year, he and my dad told me I didn’t have to. They said they would spot me financially until I got a job in California. My brother even helped me with my job applications when I was struggling.
Losing my mom was very difficult, but I feel lucky to have such a loving and supportive family. Monetary support can be helpful, but the emotional support my family has given me is unparalleled. I also want to note that I think it’s okay to ask for support from your family. After all, we aren’t an island—we’re a village!
Contact Info:
- Website: https://mani1977.wixsite.com/manishachulani
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/manishartistic/
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/manishachulani/
- Other: https://www.wattpad.com/user/manishac2020
