We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Carrin Fernandes a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Carrin , so great to have you with us and we want to jump right into a really important question. In recent years, it’s become so clear that we’re living through a time where so many folks are lacking self-confidence and self-esteem. So, we’d love to hear about your journey and how you developed your self-confidence and self-esteem.
I didn’t always have good self esteem or confidence in who I was and I didn’t really know fully what I stood for. My own life’s trials, tribulations, losses and difficulties have been the catalyst that helped me to stretch and grow beyond what I thought was possible for me.
Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?
When I opened my massage practice in 2009, I only had $5k to my name. I had lost so much in my mid 20’s to addictions, eating disorders, and codependency. I lost all my possessions in three separate floods. I felt very alone and ashamed of what my life had become. Many times I isolated myself from friends because I was at such a low point in my life. I wasn’t on the path that most of my peers were on in their late 20’s and early 30’s.
What I did have was my father who was my hero and the person I spent most of my free time with. He was my anchor and spiritual companion. I started to cultivate a deeper connection to God. My dad was a very devout Catholic. I fell away from any religious practices in my teens and early twenties. But coming home to my faith felt natural and right. I had a very humble and loving father who guided me to understand that God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit are with me each day and helping me in all I do and create in my life.
I didn’t have enough money at the time to have a commercial and residential space, so I slept on the couch in my Dad’s house for many years. I didn’t even have a car at this time. I loved that time with my father. My sisters lived with him as well. They didn’t really like the idea of me staying there and told me many times that it was my childhood home and not my home now. I love my family and I’m very protective of them. I don’t want to make them out to be the “bad guy” I can understand their reasons. But I was just starting over and needed time. Once I got a car, I started to sleep at my office in Westfield. I slept on my massage table from 2010 until 2023, when I moved out west to Colorado.
At first it was out of necessity. It was a nice space. It sort of looked like an apartment. I had a large waiting room area, with a couch and recliner. I had my own private bathroom in my unit and two therapy rooms. There was even a washer and dryer that was able to use free of charge for 7 of the 15 years I stayed there. My landlords were great! They didn’t care that I slept there. I told many of my clients I slept there, because I became very close to my clients, a lot of them thought I was smart to save my money this way.
I didn’t have a kitchen or shower. So I went to my dad’s to shower daily, and to spent time with him. I got a small freezer and refrigerator at my office and would microwave most meals, or get take out. It did compromise my life in many aspects. But to me being able to be there for my dad and getting that quality time with him made it all worth it. I did eventually make enough to get an apartment and I even had some friends offer me a place to live with them and I could pay them rent. But I knew I wouldn’t get all that time with my dad if I did that.
Something inside me just didn’t want to give that up. I didn’t mind living a minimalist lifestyle. But during these years, staying in my office and really having no home of my own, it made me feel embarrassed, ashamed and like I was a loser in life. It was hard to try and date living like that. I ended up dating abusive men, because my self esteem was so low. These relationships were so devastating when I found out about the deception and double lives that they had. Many years I would give up and not even put myself out there to date. I started to just focus on my work, and my father. This became my life.
Six days after my Dad died in February, 2021, I had an epiphany and realized I chose the path I was meant to be on. I chose the better things! Everything in my life finally made complete sense to me. All the struggles, losses and hardships, quickly turned into becoming part of my joy. When I realized it gave me so much more time with my father. I wouldn’t change a thing in my past. I was blessed to be given another 18 years with my dad.
From 2003 to 2021 I spent as much time together with him, as I did in my childhood. I predominantly spent most of my free time with my Dad. As I was healing from the loss of my father, I went deeper into self discovery and expanded on my own healing journey. I became a life, health and bereavement coach. I started traveling more. I went on many personal growth seminars, and even to Dubai alone. I started to look at my life with fresh new eyes. I built up a strong steady business, all through word of mouth. My clients in New Jersey truly were my family of choice.
I began to discern moving back to Colorado, the state where I went to massage school in the year 2000. I didn’t know exactly where I wanted to move in Colorado, but I had been longing to move back there since around 2012, but I wasn’t willing to leave my father at that time. I started a podcast series called “Living with Integrity, creating an Abundant life.” And everything just started to flow. I realized how powerful our words truly are, and how important it is that our actions to match our words. Having integrity is essential in creating a life of abundance.
I finally chose Colorado Springs. I never even visited that area before moving. I rented an apartment sight unseen. So many synchronicities started to happen. An example is that the area code is the same number as my parents anniversary 719, and the church I found is affiliated to a missionary work I did in 2006. It has been quite a remarkable journey. Opportunities keep presenting themselves to me. I feel in alignment and that I am indeed manifesting and co-creating my life of abundance with my Creator. My self esteem is the best it’s ever been. I don’t second guess my choices anymore. I have developed a deep personal relationship with the God of my understanding and I have a daily routine of self care, that keeps me mind, body, and spirit balanced and connected to my Source.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
Three qualities that are most important to develop I believe are. integrity, fortitude, and compassion. Integrity is everything, we have to step into the ownership of what integrity means, if we are going to grow in abundance. Our words, actions, and follow through has to match and be consistent. If we are going to grow in abundance. Fortitude is essential to help us stay the course and to grow in courage, confidence and awareness. Finally compassion is a must for ourselves as we will inevitably will fall along the way, compassion will help us to rise again. Having compassion for others is important too. If we truly want to grow and create a life of abundance, we can’t achieve it by holding onto blame, resentment, jealousy, bitterness or victimhood.
My life is completely different now. I was living in my office for 13 years. In a basement with no real windows, no shower, kitchen, and sleeping on my massage table. I now live in the front range of Colorado Springs. I have tremendous, sweeping views of Pikes Peak and the front range from virtually every window in my home. My living room is my favorite spot with 8 large windows to take it all in. I am meeting wonderful people and developing a new life doing the things that I love. Many opportunities are coming to me, almost in a magical, and mystical way. I couldn’t do any of this without God by my side each step of the way. I also believe my Dad is still my spiritual companion on the other side assisting me.
I look forward to working with the good people of the Colorado Springs area for therapeutic massage, and bodywork. My coaching can be done online, on the phone or in person where available. I feel blessed and I know everything is happening and unfolding in my life, in Divine Timing. Nothing feels better than to surrender, let go and trust , that not only the good things are coming in, but knowing I have my part in creating those things that are coming in for me.
Who has been most helpful in helping you overcome challenges or build and develop the essential skills, qualities or knowledge you needed to be successful?
In my coaching program this is one of the focal points I guide others on. Getting that connection to the God of their understanding and developing a deeper relationship to Source and to self. Self love and self care is so essential and important, so we not only have more to give others, but this is how our creativity, drive and desires start to develop and come alive in us.
The most exciting thing about my career is that I have so much passion for it. I am really living the life and doing the things that I only dreamed about. I see the tangible benefits in my life that I have been manifesting and co-creating for years, and more is coming, at a much faster pace now. It is my privilege to walk along side others as they learn to do this for themselves. It’s a mindset shift, and letting go of old programs, outdated beliefs, superstitions and fear. It’s about creating a new paradigm and reframing our thoughts and learning to step into the unknown and believe and trust that we aren’t alone and we can create a new reality that is life giving and joyful.
As I said before helping people out of pain is my life’s passion! If I can do this, so can anyone. It’s never too late to go after the life that you truly want to live. We are made up of energy. We are mind, body and spirit. it’s important to take care of each of those components in order to open up the flood gates to new possibilities. When I do bodywork, I include the Young Living Essential oils, energetic work, sound healing, and any type of massage pressure. In my coaching practice I give you my full support and encouragement as we journey together to get you to your best life.
I am also a distributor for BemerUSA since 2016. The Bemer is a Bio-electro-magnetic-energy-
I would advise that every person takes the time to invest in themselves. It truly is the greatest gift you can give yourself. It can and will change your life experiences. We all are a bit of a mystery to ourselves, until we learn to develop our interior self and grow our emotional IQ. Getting a Life or Health coach is a great place to start if you don’t know how to begin.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.coachingwithcarrin.com/?mibextid=Zxz2cZ
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/invites/contact/?i=1rlt37k65i0gw&utm_content=2xfoyo
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100057699630220&mibextid=LQQJ4d
- Other: https://lnk.bio/go?d=https%3A%2F%2Fpodcasts.apple.com%2Fus%2Fpodcast%2Fliving-with-integrity%2Fid1667268304%3Ffbclid%3DIwAR2R6lefP5Y3GC8_psKYz942qml2dgW9bcih_0b-7CeBySZ9NMPdMXvqxOc&hash=596d96d6a2ed896c8b5d3337c0ef4ec9&id=4090739&ext=-1477974&timezone=America%2FNew_York&type=1
Image Credits
Carrin Fernandes