Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Marcella Riley. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Hi Marcella, appreciate you sitting with us today to share your wisdom with our readers. So, let’s start with resilience – where do you get your resilience from?
When I was in middle school, one of my teachers asked the class to answer the following question, “If you could wish for any superpower, what power would you wish for?” I wished for the ability to never give up. That no matter what challenge or adversary I faced, I would always find a way to win.
As an adult, this translated into learning different ways to cope in troubling times. How to problem solve with a clear mind and continue moving forward. What helped initially was talking to a therapist and creating new habits.
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
I still keep changing my instagram category from musician/band to comedian to entertainer to artist, and back again…
In the past year I’ve gotten to perform at singer songwriter venues such as Hotel Cafe and The Mint in Los Angeles. And like my guitar hero John Mayer, I’m currently working on a solo show, which will almost certainly include covers by The Rolling Stones and Jimi Hendrix. I also have zero responsibilities, so taking a break from music for me means working on a new episode of podcasts White People Do Black Things and Dope Comedians.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
Whenever I acquire a new skill on my Fender Strat, it feels like unlocking a new superpower. Learning how to play guitar has helped build my confidence and raise my self esteem. I walk different, I stand different, I talk different. I am different because I play guitar.
It took forever for me to truly understand meditation. And I’ve made it to a place where I can catch the looping thoughts and put them to rest. It doesn’t always happen fast. But I accept my feelings and thoughts as they happen and then let them pass. I can also (not always) choose to stay in those thoughts and feelings and follow them deeper, but I’ve only found this helpful when I need to quickly process a situation or for artistic expression. Otherwise it’s feels super uncomfortable to dwell…
Because of how I was raised by my immediate family, the question “What’s wrong with you?” looped in my mind so often that it became a statement that I whispered to myself over and over again. Speaking with a therapist for a few years taught me how to heal from wounds that I didn’t even realize I had.
In a world where opinions are expressed as fact, the advise I would give folks early in their journey is to learn to trust your feelings and to do your own research. Lean into what feels right, question what looks off, and learn to not take things personally.
Thanks so much for sharing all these insights with us today. Before we go, is there a book that’s played in important role in your development?
For my traumatized folks I recommend reading The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk. PTSD comes in many forms…
For my artists looking to better understand their process and for tips on going deeper, check out The Creative Act by Rick Rubin. And don’t skip the exercises (especially the one about screaming into a pillow)
And for some musical therapy, listen to The Molly Miller Trio and a band called LA LOM.
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