We recently connected with Misty Moss and have shared our conversation below.
Misty, first a big thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts and insights with us today. I’m sure many of our readers will benefit from your wisdom, and one of the areas where we think your insight might be most helpful is related to imposter syndrome. Imposter syndrome is holding so many people back from reaching their true and highest potential and so we’d love to hear about your journey and how you overcame imposter syndrome.
As a solo-preneur, boudoir photographer, and self portrait artist, I’ve become quite familiar with imposter syndrome. When I started my business, it was there asking me “who do you think you are to charge money for your art?”. When I started healing my toxic body image beliefs through self portraiture and helping others do the same with my boudoir photography, it was there telling me “you’re a fraud – you still have bad days, too, who do you think you are to educate others?”
I don’t know when my relationship with imposter syndrome changed for certain, but there became a point in my career and my creative pursuits when imposter syndrome stopped feeling like an enemy, and started feeling like an old friend, someone always there, throughout it all. She will always, always be there. And once I realized that, I knew I needed to take away her power over me, I needed to rewrite the narrative she was trying to tell me.
At the heart of it all, our imposter syndrome is just trying to protect us from ourselves. It rears its head when it perceives an unknown threat to our safety. Often times, stepping outside our comfort zones feels simply terrifying. Whether it’s starting a business, applying for a new job, healing from your past experiences – our imposter syndrome shows up to try to keep us safe.
Instead of trying to fight her or stifle her, I’ve switched tactics. I know recognize my imposter syndrome as a well intentioned team member. Instead of trying to silence her, I ask her “What are you trying to tell me? What do I need to learn from you?” I no longer let her control the narrative I tell myself, she doesn’t get to stop me from experiencing new and exciting facets in my life – but she does get to guide me. I listen to her worries, her fears, I write them down, and then I release them. I let her know she’s heard, but that ultimately – we’re safe, and capable.
Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?
I’m a boudoir photographer, self portrait artist, and burlesque performer – a professional at celebrating the art of self.
From when we’re born, we’re inundated with messaging about how the world thinks we need to act, look, and think about ourselves. We are told to be at war with our bodies – to constantly be a work in progress for the eyes and perceptions of others.
While a body is, ultimately, just a body, it is also how we interface and move through the world. It is the only thing that will be with us for our whole lives. And these inherited beliefs we have about our bodies can significantly limit the way we live our lives, and the stories we believe about ourselves.
I started my boudoir business in 2016, after I found the liberating art of burlesque and self portrait photography. Through these art forms I unearthed inherited toxic body image beliefs, and recognized just how much those narratives were writing my body story, and controlling how I moved through the world. I began to unlearn these beliefs through my artistic practices. Through the power of allowing myself to be seen, and of seeing myself.
Now I use the power of boudoir photography to help transform the way my clients view themselves – so that they can begin to see themselves as powerful works of art, and take back their body story.
I also help teach other photographers, and anyone who wants to develop a self portrait practice, how to curate a healing practice that not only enables you to feel confident in front of the lens, but also to dismantle some of those beliefs around your body. What if instead of running – we stopped and got curious. What if we started SEEING ourselves and documenting our unique journey. If anyone reading this is interested in creating their own self portrait practice, you can check out my course here: https://art-soul-with-moss-boudoir.teachable.com/p/art-and-soulfie
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
The biggest skill that I has been the most impactful on my journey has been my ability to make people feel comfortable, and feel seen. It’s incredible the transformations that can unfold when the people in your presence simply feel cared for, and heard. If nothing else, my biggest mission is to make people feel safe in my presence. Safe to explore themselves, safe to come home to themselves, safe to be their favourite self.
The other two qualities that I would say are second to that, but also important in my journey as an artist, is consistency and reflection/rest. Being an artist in a capitalist world is not for the feint of heart – some days are incredibly hard to get up and keep being soft in a world that demands stoicism and rigidity. But being consistent and creating systems to help support that consistency was a game changer. Hand in hand with that is taking time to reflect and rest. Hustle culture demands that we pour our everything into our businesses, but I can’t show up for my clients if I am not myself rested so that I can be my best self for them. Now I take ample time to reflect, and rest. So that I can share a more full version of myself with my art and my clients.
As we end our chat, is there a book you can leave people with that’s been meaningful to you and your development?
I love reading, and I am constantly immersing myself in books to gain perspective and wisdom from others. I can’t choose just one! But there are two that definitely changed my day to day life in more ways than I could ever express.
1. The Body Is Not An Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor – an absolutely stunning and integral read for anyone who feels like their beliefs about their body get in the way of the life they wish they were living. This book gave me permission I didn’t even know I was waiting for. Permission to be messy. Permission to be squishy. Permission to take up space. Permission to BE.
2. Do Nothing by Celeste Headlee – anyone living in western capitalist society needs to read this book. It completely changed how I approached my work ethic, and helped heal my relationship with burnout and hustle culture.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.moss-photography.com
- Instagram: @mosboudoir
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/mistymoss
