We were lucky to catch up with Dr. Radhia Afif recently and have shared our conversation below.
Dr. Radhia , so great to have you with us and we want to jump right into a really important question. In recent years, it’s become so clear that we’re living through a time where so many folks are lacking self-confidence and self-esteem. So, we’d love to hear about your journey and how you developed your self-confidence and self-esteem.
I developed a strong sense of confidence and self-esteem in my adult years. When I started to see myself without outside input and influence it changed a lot for me. I started to focus on who I saw in the mirror, what I truly enjoyed, and who I was in my most authentic form. To work on my confidence and self-esteem I stated positive affirmations in the mirror as well as wrote them frequently in my journal. I embraced my flaws and reminded myself that I did not need to be perfect. Building confidence and self-esteem is not easy with all of the images on social media and expectations to be a certain way but with consistency in my actions I have created a strong sense of self.
Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?
I am a woman of many talents. Professionally, I am a Licensed Behavior Specialist. I help families create healthy cycles of behavior by providing education and realistic interventions to support parents in building healthy parent-child relationships. My goal is to help parents see their children and the relationship from a human to human viewpoint which includes patience, empathy, and effective communication. This is achieved through parent coaching, parent workshops, and parent resources. Two resources that I created are the book “How to Train Your Parents” and The Behavioral Wealth Card Deck which includes affirmation cards and prompt cards to support parents in self-reflection.
I also use my background in Behavior Analysis to help women shed the Superwoman C.A.P.E (Control, Anxiety, Perfectionism, and Expectations). In both lanes I focus on mindset and behavior changes which contribute to improved quality of life for the individual and the family. My best-seller “Don’t Call Me Superwoman” explores my own journey in taking off the C.A.P.E and how shifting my mindset and behavior helped me to start showing up as my authentic self. Now, I help other women to explore these challenges and to take back control of their lives in a healthy way.
Creatively, I am a Dance Fitness Instructor. I teach the Goddess Twerkshop Experience which not only focuses on physical movement but also mental, emotional, and spiritual health. The goal is to help women stay active, increase confidence, and to build a strong sense of self through our movement, affirmations and class themes.
What is most exciting is doing what I love and helping people in the process. It’s an equal exchange of giving and receiving while helping others make an impact in their lives. I love to share my tools and what has helped me along the way in the hopes that another person can benefit from the experience. Mindset is so important and sometimes all it takes is one interaction with someone to change the course of their life.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
Three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that have been most impactful on my journey are speaking positively to and about myself, looking at all things with a lens of gratitude, and self-reflection. I could create a longer lit but we will focus on these areas. Speaking positively to and about myself helped with building confidence and self-esteem. This helped me stay motivated and focused on my goals especially when I felt down on myself or when things got difficult. Gratitude has been huge in my life. I once read something that stated we should give gratitude for the good and the bad. The good because it’s something we want/wanted and the bad because there is a reason why a door was closed or things did not turn out a certain way. When the transmission went out on my car I was grateful that I made it to my destination and that I had the money to get it fixed. Lastly, self-reflection. The ability to be honest with yourself, take accountability, and make changes is a recipe for growth. Self-reflection helps you to notice what you want, what is going well, and what changes need to occur.
For anyone who is early in their journey I would suggest getting very clear on who you are and what you want. Don’t think about what society pushes out to you or what your friends and family want from you. What makes you happy and brings you joy. What characteristics do you admire in yourself or what would you like to change? Journaling is a great tool to get clear on some of these things and you may come to new realizations over time. Be very honest with yourself. Envision the life you want and what it looks like to be your most authentic self. Once you are gain some clarity, start to show up in this way. It will take practice and discipline but be mindful of the life you are creating for yourself.
What has been your biggest area of growth or improvement in the past 12 months?
My biggest areas of growth in the past 12 months have been vulnerability and communication. I named two because I feel like they go hand in hand. Communication is a form of vulnerability when you are honestly expressing needs, wants, and boundaries. In the past 12 months I have really shown up for myself by communicating my boundaries, expressing needs, and wants. This has been a struggle for me in past years because I don’t like conflict and I have not been the best with expressing my emotions in the past. I have often shied away from being vulnerable and opening up about these things for fear of conflict, rejection, or judgement. To my surprise, when you give the right people an opportunity to show up for you they will. I was able to practice my vulnerability in therapy, with trusted friends, and family. Although I still have work to do this last year has been such a accomplishment as I’ve made noticeable progress. If you want change, you have to do the work even when it feels uncomfortable.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.drafifspeaks.com
- Instagram: @drafifspeaks @the.behaviorist
- Facebook: facebook.com/drafifspeaks facebook.com/thebehaviorist0
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drafifspeaks/
