We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Jess Steffy. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Jess below.
Hi Jess, so happy to have you on the platform and I think our readers are in for a treat because you’ve got such an interesting story and so much insight and wisdom. So, let’s start with a topic that is relevant to everyone, regardless of industry etc. What do you do for self-care and how has it impacted you?
After spending my twenties raising small children and running a very hands-on small business, I spent my thirties trying to figure out how to care for myself. Despite all the talk of putting your own mask on first before assisting others, I fell into the classic role of being a self-sacrificial martyr to the point of total exhaustion and burnout. If it weren’t for a few key practices, I wouldn’t be the person I am today or have the ability to do the work that I do. Some of those practices are simple ones that I’ve been doing for most of my life without realizing they were my own ways of resting, recharging, and reconnecting with myself like traveling and spending time in nature.
At the risk of sounding like an ad, finding a great therapist was a huge component to working through my own mental health *gestures broadly at self* situation and overcoming the childhood trauma of becoming an orphan at a young age. Beyond that intense work, therapy connected me to a few other practices that have served me well and continue to buoy me through life’s storms, including:
1.) a Mindful Self-Compassion practice. This was largely about changing my inner narrative and worldview from an inherently “bad self” to an inherently “good self” which brought a lot of healing and removing shame. Becoming aware of my negative self-talk and softening toward my inner critic was the key to making the attitude shift (more like a U-Turn) toward self-compassion. Bonus: This has radiated outward, causing me to be more compassionate to others as well. Now, the voice of the self-critic isn’t as loud, it’s not always my first instinct, and it’s accompanied by a new voice from a much more kind and benevolent part of myself that understands “we can’t hate ourselves into a version of ourselves that we can love”. (Lori Deschene)
2.) setting healthy Boundaries. Once I started to have more compassion toward myself and actually began including myself in the circle of folks who deserve love and kindness(!), I began to set better boundaries for myself. I had to prioritize my own health and wellness first, so that meant that I had to stop trying to be on every single committee, so to speak. This meant tons of letting go and delegating and allowing things to be done–dramatic pause–by other people in ways that were OTHER than my ways. As a recovering perfectionist, this was some of the most difficult work of my life.
3.) prioritizing Play. (See also: Awe, Wonder, Laughter.) Speaking of boundaries, I also set other boundaries around sharing the domestic chores, my work schedule/availability (a big shift from being available 24/7, 365 like an ER), and reprioritized my own play, hobbies and rest. It’s been so much fun to reconnect to the things that brought me joy when I was young like dancing, spending time in nature, travel, music, writing, doing puzzles, and other “unproductive” things. Making space in my schedule has also helped me out with another healthy boundary: the one between my personal identity and my work identity. I feel like I finally have an identity outside of my career for the first time in almost 20 years of small business ownership. Somewhat counterintuitively, rather than pulling energy and focus from my company, this approach seems to reinvigorate my work life too. (It’s a good cycle. 10/10 Highly recommend.)
4.) Movement. Yoga, stretching, bodywork, breath work. Call it what you want, but the body does keep the score. As an adult, I was reluctant to join in on wellness trends because of the tendency to focus on weight loss and changing your body, so I waited longer than I should have to start a regular practice of moving my body in ways that feel good to me. Thankfully, nowadays, I’ve embraced several movement practices because I know they support my mental health as much as they do my physical health. They help me feel more connected to my body and my intuition. It’s a relief to reconnect with wisdom that comes from somewhere other than my brain. Burning off the day’s stress or anxieties with a dance party? Don’t mind if I do!
Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?
I’m the co-owner of Square One Coffee Roasters, a coffee roasting company based out of Lancaster, Pennsylvania. My husband (Josh) and I operate the business together and live in Lancaster with our two sons (ages 16 and 19) and our pug, Wilma. (We just celebrated our 22nd wedding anniversary on New Year’s Eve.)
Over the course of my nineteen years in the specialty coffee industry, I’ve held all of the job roles possible at one point or another. From barista and café Manager, to roaster and wholesale packager, to green coffee buyer and quality control, not to mention the bookkeeping, social media managing, marketing, HR and all the other hats that small business owners have to wear. Slowly but surely, we worked ourselves out of almost every role, only moving on when we could hire someone else who could do the job better. After a few years of ownership, and once my kids were a bit older, I began volunteering at coffee events and barista competitions. After a few years of that, in 2013, I became a Q Grader (think: coffee sommelier, coffee quality nerd) and a certified World Barista Championship Judge (think: American Idol Judge, but more like Paula than Simon). My travels in coffee have taken me all over the world both for tasting and purchasing delicious coffee at the farm level and also for tasting and judging some of the highest quality coffees in the world served by some of the world’s most talented baristas.
These days, my main roles at Square One are as the CEO and Green Coffee Buyer. I spend a lot of energy ensuring that we’re doing good work as a company, not only producing a delicious, high-quality product, but also by providing a good work environment for our team so they can serve our customers well. Happily, I still have days where my job involves tasting coffee, whether it’s samples for purchase or to check on our coffee quality.
Beyond the caffeine, what keeps me going day after day is my belief that “a small group of thoughtful, committed [people] can change the world”, as Margaret Mead said, “Indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has”. Coffee impacts some of the world’s most vulnerable people, so I’ve always seen work in this industry as an opportunity to positively impact the world. I’ve seen firsthand the ways that the coffee industry can empower people both locally and abroad.
A great example of the good that coffee can do abroad is the partnership that Square One has with Horizon (https://horizonempowers.org/), a locally based international nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering orphaned children. For over a decade now, I’ve had the privilege of being involved as a volunteer and as a consultant, and I couldn’t be more excited to say that we are now purchasing and selling coffee that is grown in and for the benefit of the communities that Horizon serves in Honduras. All of the profits from this coffee are reinvested into the lives of the children at La Providencia. (Here’s a link to this Honduran coffee: https://www.squareonecoffee.com/coffee-offerings3/honduras-la-providencia)
Closer to home, another way that Square One is using coffee to empower people is through our commitment to paying our employees a living wage. In Pennsylvania, that is $16.41 per hour (for a single person). We ensure that the take-home pay of our team exceeds that amount. It’s the same ethical employment values that we advocate for at the coffee farming level, so we see it as just another way to “do good work” (our motto) and improve the lives of everyone involved in the coffee supply chain.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
1.) Beginner’s Mind/Lifelong Learner’s posture. I love to learn and truly believe I can learn something from anyone. Curiosity has replaced a lot of judgement in my life and I find myself taking the point of view of an anthropologist often. (Humans are fascinating!) This has also helped me stay open to new ideas instead of becoming rigid and set in my ways.
2.) Self-Regulation. Calming/self-soothing/centering myself when I feel overwhelmed wasn’t something I knew how to do until I was an adult raising kids and running a business. I cobbled together whatever mix of activities I could shoehorn into a nap time or between meetings. My self-regulations activities include: deep belly breathing with an extra slow exhale, moving my body (dancing, jumping, shaking it out, exercising), drinking water, eating a snack, meditating, reminding myself of a few basic truths to keep myself grounded while putting my hand on my heart (“You are safe. You are loved. You are right here.”), crying, boxing/punching pillows, screaming into the void, wrapping my arms around myself to remind myself that I’ve got my own back, so I’m never alone.
3.) Self-Compassion. I mentioned this earlier, but it’s worth repeating. Having your own back makes life so much more enjoyable. I know the concept of befriending ourselves sounds woo-woo *insert eye roll*, but when the road gets rocky, how you treat yourself really matters. Talking to ourselves *at least* as lovingly as we would talk to our closest friend is a good place to start. Life is hard enough without an internal bully who kicks you when you’re down. Instead of that unnecessary cruelty, I’ve been enjoying the loving presence of a much more supportive version of myself for the last few years and it’s phenomenal.
What’s been one of your main areas of growth this year?
The biggest area of growth for me since March 14, 2020 (the day we had to shut down our business because of the pandemic) has been in the realm of learning to sit with uncertainty–as opposed to rushing into action or inserting meaning when things are unknown. For me this has meant a lot more pausing, “sleeping on it” before making decisions, and making sure that I’m acting from a place of calm and peace instead of from a chaotic space with a chronic sense of urgency. This has made me less reactive and anxious too, a great side effect!
Here’s a poem about sitting with uncertainty and trusting yourself that has inspired me regularly over the last few years:
Note to Self above the Paradox Valley
by Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer
You do not need to know what comes next.
There is always another storm, and you
cannot hang the tent out to dry before
it has gotten wet. You cannot shovel snow
that has yet to fall.
Put down the shovel. Breathe
into the dark spaces of your back,
feel how they open like cave doors
to let in the light.
Let your face soften. Let the creases
fall out of your brow. The mind,
no matter how clear, will never become
a crystal ball.
Whatever is wisest in you knows to run
when it hears the first crashes of rock fall.
It does not pause then to consider
metamorphic or igneous,
nor does it hesitate to wonder
what might have pushed them down.
It is no small thing to trust yourself.
It is right that love should shake your body,
that you should find yourself trembling
in the rubble and dust
after all your certainties come down.
But your breath has not left you.
Here is the morning rain. It opens
the scent of the leaves, of the air.
All around you the world is changing.
What are you waiting for?
Here is the cup of mint tea
growing stronger in itself.
Here on this cliff of uncertainty
there is a stillness in you
so spirited, so alive
that whatever is wisest in you
is dancing.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.squareonecoffee.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/squareonecoffee
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/squareonecoffee
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessica-steffy-349165133
Image Credits
Taylor Mihaljevic
