We were lucky to catch up with Kevin Komadina recently and have shared our conversation below.
Kevin, first a big thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts and insights with us today. I’m sure many of our readers will benefit from your wisdom, and one of the areas where we think your insight might be most helpful is related to imposter syndrome. Imposter syndrome is holding so many people back from reaching their true and highest potential and so we’d love to hear about your journey and how you overcame imposter syndrome.
I’ve been drawing and making some form of art for most of my life but never really considered myself an artist till much later in life.
I never took art in high school. In college I was a pre-med major, Though I drew charcoal sketches of my friends, I didn’t take my first art class until my junior year when I took ceramics. The clay bug bit me hard. I was in the ceramic’s studio nearly every day, and many a Friday evening with friends, mixing clay or firing the kiln. I continued taking ceramics classes my last two years of college, and even sold some pots at pop up art sales on campus. I considered changing my major from pre-med to art at the end of my junior year, but it meant 3 more years of college which seemed impractical, so I went to med school.
Med school, internal medicine residency, and a fellowship in pulmonary and critical care medicine, followed by time as an Air Force doctor put art on hold for a little over a decade.
In 1991 I took a community ceramics class and was again obsessed with clay and making all things ceramics, pots, tile murals and sculptures. I participated in some art fairs and had work accepted into national shows. Despite making good work and these successes I did not feel like an artist.
Medicine is a highly credentialed field. I had a BS, and an MD and was board certified in Internal Medicine, Pulmonary Medicine, and Critical Care Medicine. I was pretty sure I was qualified to be a doctor, but who was I to claim the title of Artist? The folks with BFAs and MFAs or Atelier training, they were artists. All I had was Ceramics I and II and two art units in ceramics and a 3-credit industrial design course. They were the artists; I was the poser.
Now I have to admit, even in medicine I had a bit of imposter syndrome. If I knew something I figured most folks did, there sure was a whole lot of medicine that I was not expert in (that’s why we choose specialties). It is similar in art. I am now a realist oil painter, my work has had some success, people compliment the work, but I think, “you think this is good, well let me show you some really good artists!” With immersion in a field of study, we obtain knowledge and an understanding of the depth and breadth of the field. Our own work often seems insignificant as it is just a tiny sliver of the artistic spectrum, imposter syndrome comes naturally to many if not all of us.
So, what to do? My first approach was to just keep working and taking classes. I outgrew the community art center studio, and set up a small ceramic studio in the basement of my home. I outgrew this and rented space near my home and taught pottery on the wheel, ultimately, I added an addition to my home for studio space. All of this helped some. I was practicing full time as a physician and while my skill and knowledge was improving, I wanted to have a more focused study of ceramics, and from 2005 to 2oo8 I enrolled in the Graduate Certificate Program in Ceramic Art at Hood College in Maryland. It was a program designed for working adults. Once again, in this program, I was the only one who didn’t have an art degree. It was mostly art teachers gaining additional skill and training in ceramics.
In the fall of 2008, I installed my graduate student show at United Theological Seminary in New Brighton, MN. I took a 3-month sabbatical to create a sculpture garden of 18 sculptures entitled “Namaste”. Well now I had my official artist training, and solo exhibition. I was credentialed, but I was still a doctor full-time. So, yes, now I’m an artist, but an “amateur artist”. Imposter syndrome is like a ninja, it can come out of nowhere.
Well, I had a “plan”. I would work as a doctor till I was 55 or so and then do ceramics full-time. Though I wasn’t sure for a variety of reasons how that would work.
In July of 2012 the Universe solved my problem. I was diagnosed with Stage 1 multiple myeloma, a cancer of antibody-making cells. I took 8 months off from my medical practice for treatment. I returned to practice part-time in March of 2013 and found that I was unable to keep the pace because of ongoing treatment side-effects. I retired in June of 2013. I found that ceramics was too taxing to continue, and so I turned to painting.
Fortunately, I remain in remission and have enjoyed painting full-time, have a shared gallery space in Minneapolis; I’ve participated in numerous juried art fairs, and have work at the Artist Block Gallery in Dundee OR, and Steidel Contemporary of Palm Beach will be showing my paintings at Art Palm Beach, and The Palm Beach Show. So no more Imposter Syndrome, right?
Well, that would be nice, but the key to overcoming Imposter Syndrome does not lie in certificates, degrees or achievement. The key lies within. Achievements and degrees are fleeting rewards that will not vanquish inner doubt. One of my favorite quotes is from Georgia O’Keeffe:
“I have already settled it for myself so flattery and criticism go down the same drain and I am quite free.” “Whether you succeed or not is irrelevant, there is no such thing. Making your unknown known is the important thing–and keeping the unknown always beyond you.”
The key to conquering Imposter Syndrome is self-acceptance. I am now a painter, I paint realistically, I’ve tried painting “loose” it’s not who I am. I’ve tried plein aire, nope that’s not me either. I paint what I am drawn to, I don’t need to understand why. I have an artist statement that generally describes what I and my work are about, but that’s out of necessity. Given the option, my artist statement would be my art and nothing else. I currently have three series of paintings I am working on. Developing a niche might yield more success, but that’s not who I am. I paint what I want, what I am drawn to, and what excites me. Some of my favorite subjects I came across accidentally, so I try to be present to my surroundings. Do I have moments of fear, insecurity, and doubt? Of course I do, but as a good friend of mine says, they can all come along for the ride, just don’t let them drive.
Authenticity is how we manage Imposter Syndrome.
Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?
I am drawn to the colors, shapes, and textures of the world around us. My struggle to overcome health issues taught me the value of the present moment and the fragility of life. My paintings of life, and of objects past and present, highlight our individuality, connectedness, and impermanence, as well as the beauty of the ordinary, encouraging us to be present to our surroundings. The interplay of shadow and light; large planes and angles, and movement, serve to remind us that there is always an alternative perspective to consider.
I have three series of work. An “Americana” series, which is predominantly vintage motels, diners, and other citiscapes from around the US that catch my eye. A series of neon inspired paintings as a result of the neon elements in many of my “Americana” paintings, and emphasizing the abstract qualities of the realist work. Finally, a fun series called “The Other Brick Road” where Dorothy and Toto and other characters from Oz explore the contemporary world.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
First, persistence is the key to any success. Push yourself beyond your comfort zone, as David Bowie said:
“If you feel safe in the area you’re working in, you’re not working in the right area. Always go a little further into the water than you feel you’re capable of being in. Go a little bit out of your depth. And when you don’t feel that your feet are quite touching the bottom, you’re just about in the right place to do something exciting.”
Second, craftsmanship no matter your media or expression is key in my mind. Craftsmanship is the tool that allows for effective expression.
Finally, remain authentic to your true self.
Thanks so much for sharing all these insights with us today. Before we go, is there a book that’s played an important role in your development?
The Creative Act: A Way of Being by Rick Rubin.
“No matter what tools you use to create, the true instrument is you. And through you the universe that surrounds us all comes into focus.”
365 Tao by Deng Ming-Dao
“Rice suffers when it is milled. Jade must suffer when it is polished. But what emerges is something special. If you want to be special too, then you have to be able to stick to things even when they are difficult.”
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.khkart.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/khkomadina_art/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k43a2JZgU3M https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=dlSRhMu2Huc
Image Credits
Painting photos by Mitch Rossow
