We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful TES. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with TES below.
TES, thank you so much for joining us today. Let’s jump right into something we’re really interested in hearing about from you – being the only one in the room. So many of us find ourselves as the only woman in the room, the only immigrant or the only artist in the room, etc. Can you talk to us about how you have learned to be effective and successful in situations where you are the only one in the room like you?
For a large portion of my life I felt ashamed of the things that made me feel different. I thought they disqualified me from having a seat at any table.
Growing up as an African American woman, I realized at an early age. black people were considered the minority. It almost seemed like the news wanted everyone to believe women were less than and that black people were born criminals. Being a queer woman, I noticed the false assumptions of my character. People within the LGBTQ+ community were often made out to be a joke and could never be openly respected or loved.
These were all lies I once believed about myself. These opinions became my truth. This truth later decreased my self esteem and self love. Once I no longer identified myself with these lies and false narratives, I learned my purpose. I learned that I was different for a reason and that I was not born to be average. I learned that my purpose was the solution to someone in need. As I overcame the lies, I realized these lies were created to keep me from learning to love my true self.
Here were the thoughts that once crippled me.
Am I worthy?
I’m the only black female.
I’m the youngest person here.
I’m a part of the LGBTQ+ community. Is this environment safe for my identity?
Do I have what it takes to succeed?
I realized me being the only black person in a room offered a diverse perspective and life experience, which is an advantage during business and team meetings. My youthful age allows me to learn, teach and retain information better than the people before me. I accepted the fact that being a part of the LGBTQ+ community has nothing to do with my abilities. If anything, it enhanced my compassion and love for others deeply.
I realized all the characteristics about myself that I thought once crippled me were actually my superpowers and made more special, which allowed me to me more effective and ESSENTIAL. This awareness helped me show up fully and whole when I entered any room. Finally I live and walk in knowing I am enough and worthy of being in any room. I belong because I love myself. When in doubt, always ask yourself : “who were you before the world told you who you should be?”
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
My name is TES I’m a Mental Wellness advocate and Business Consultant.
My passions include Motivational Speaking, fitness, yoga, and personal development coaching.
In July 2023 I released my very 1st book : Success Over Suicide. In this book, I provide the steps on how to Redefine Success and Transform your life. Click here to get your copy: https://tesspeaks.com/booklaunch
My Motto is to get Better and not Bitter along this journey of life.
My Mission is travel the world sharing and speaking on the importance of mental wellness while empowering entrepreneurs to achieve wellness and wealth.
I am on a mission to spread the importance of personal and professional development with schools and organizations.
My topics include the following:
Mental Wellness
Suicide prevention
LGBTQ Acceptance
Unity
Emotional Intelligence
Please visit tesspeaks.com to book a consultation for next steps on booking TES for your next event.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
My advice to folks early in thier journey is to create a plan for your wellbeing. Often times we only create a plan for our business but what about a plan for your well-being along the journey? What plan can you begin to have in place to protect yourself from self-limiting thoughts? How can you prevent self-sabotage?
The three most impactful areas in my life that allowed me to execute my entrepreneurial goals while prioritizing my mental wellness are below:
Monitoring Self-talk. I do Daily affirmations before I start my day. I realized I have to be more intentional on speaking life and positivity over myself or I could all victim into speaking doubt and death over my life and goals.
See my Delcations below:
My Declarations
You are BRILLIANT
You are blessed
You are healed
You are healthy
You are Loved
You have been set free
Sickness can’t dwell in You
Sin cannot dominate You
No weapon formed against You will prosper
You will win despite the odds
You are protected
You are important
I am attracting Wealth, Prosperity, and abundance into my life in rapid ways
I will allow change to build me and not destroy myself
Determination helps me build discipline
My soul will live forever and my legacy will be felt
I grow with every challenge.
I am consistent in everything I do
I am excellence
I am enough
The daily habit of movement – 10 years ago I looked in the mirror and was not pleased by my physical health. From that moment, I begin to start the daily habit of movement which helps me express myself with out boundaries. This can include activities such as Yoga, walking, cycling, or exercise. It also has a ton benefits to my mental health. If I start a workout feeling frustrated or anger, at the end of my work out I fell grounded, at ease and able to move through my day with clarity.
Emotional intelligence – Ive learned how to manage my emotions before my emotions manage me. This happens when I create a safe space for me to be honest with myself about my feeling without judgment. I am now intentional on not ignoring my emotions and letting them flow through me. Meditation has been my portal to emotional intelligence and access to my highest self.
Any advice for folks feeling overwhelmed?
Oftentimes, people see my social media and assume I don’t experience tough moments or ever feel overwhelmed.
I want to take this beautiful moment to be transparent with you. Im currently working on improving my relationship with self and the Divine. For some reason, once I turned 30 for some reason life began to feel overwhelming more often. This process requires me to be still and feel all the emotions I try to suppress. This process has also helped me realize the old narratives that are full of self-doubt, anger, and frustration that I tell myself unknowingly.
Lately, I’ve been taking time to clear the static or noise as I work to connect with the Divine for guidance and receive confirmation on my next steps. These moments of silence help me ask myself a very thought-provoking question “what narrative am I telling myself”. This question has helped me realize how I play a part in my own suffering or when I feel overwhelmed. I’ve often time found that the narrative I tell myself about my life inflates my reality and contributes to my self-doubt or feelings of defeat.
In these moments, I remember to take a moment to breathe and listen to my heart without judgment These moments help guide me through moments feeling overwhelmed to empowered and able to move forward with grace.
Contact Info:
- Website: tesspeaks.com
- Instagram: @tes_ speaks
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSSD7cwdGwCwo58C4s_ANVA
- Other: Check out my podcast SOS Wellness Show on Apple Music, & Spotify!
Image Credits
Professional Photos by Tina Smith – https://www.instagram.com/tinasmiff/
