We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Kristin Coronado a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Kristin, thank you so much for joining us today. Let’s jump right into something we’re really interested in hearing about from you – being the only one in the room. So many of us find ourselves as the only woman in the room, the only immigrant or the only artist in the room, etc. Can you talk to us about how you have learned to be effective and successful in situations where you are the only one in the room like you?
Given my line of work, I can openly and proudly admit that I’ve done years of therapy and inner work to build a certain level of authenticity and confidence. Self-talk is incredibly important and effective. I know I don’t fit the description of what’s in the room before me. I’m aware of the advantages and disadvantages that face us all and I’m grateful for the set of privileges that pertain to me specifically. That being said, I earned this. I did the work. I studied. I remained dedicated. I persevered in the same ways my peers have. I reached for goals society told me were unreachable and difficult to obtain. I could have settled and listened to everyone’s fears that were being projected onto me, but I didn’t. I don’t consider myself overly confident, but I know my worth. I know my strengths. I know that I outwork majority because I don’t need instant gratification. When you do something that aligns with your belief system, you’re in it! No one can stop you. Failure is a concept we’ve been taught to fear and be ashamed of, but I believe in me and know through experience that failure is simply redirect. There’s not a single thing I’ve said I wanted to do and have not done. That itself, the ability to try and fail, is enough for me.I believe in my capability and I know that surpasses any glass ceiling placed before me. We must train our minds consistently. It’s an exercise but it’s worth the effort. The people in these “said rooms” are no better than you. They are human. And MAYBE they’ve been given a set of advantages, perhaps? At the end of the day you’re in that room too, so own it.
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
Clinical psychology has always been a great passion of mine. Working in mental healthcare has been life changing and so rewarding. Sharing intimate parts of your life with someone is such a vulnerable process and it’s an honor and a privilege to be on the listening end. I strive to provide a safe and strong space in each and every session. Life is complex. Full of ups and downs, conflicting emotions, and sometimes we get so caught up in the effort of being perceived that we have it “all together” without truly understanding what that looks like to us, individually. Unfortunately, there’s still a stigma attached to mental health and I intend on dismantling labels in every aspect. Feeling are apart of being human. There is no gender, intersectionality or positionality that can change that. The more we normalize this, the better we can be as a whole.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
To live a creative and fulfilling life, one must relinquish the fear of being wrong.
I don’t believe in a blueprint for success. Success is individual and you’re responsible for that feeling as well as your general happiness. For me, I feel like I’ve always been different. Once I retired the idea of conforming to what I should do and just started to listen to what my heart / God told me. It all unfolded for me.
You can sit through countless self help books, podcasts, and motivational conferences. Or you can simply do. Do the things you want to do. The things that make you feel alive. Things that you shy away from because it would be “unexpected” to others. That’s where the magic is. Inner dialogue is far more important that the outside chatter. Once you connect yourself to that voice, you’re a force to be reckoned with.
What was the most impactful thing your parents did for you?
My dad is, and has always been, such an amazing human being. Talk to any first generation kid and they’ll tell you the amount of loving pressure their parent or parents bestowed upon them. He has been a great echo of confidence throughout my life. When I didn’t have the words to battle my anxiety or days of distress, I’d hear him. “You got this, champ.” “You can do anything! You’re a winner! Don’t give in. We don’t give up.” He was a mental coach before people started paying for those. My dad poured his heart into parenthood. He always listened to me, always protected me, always let me leap without showing he was concerned or gave unsolicited advice. He just believed in me which led me to think “Well if he believes, I have to believe as well.”. If you can do it, you will. If you dream it, it’s possible. I’ve been blessed to have a foundation of confidence since I was a child. I hope in sharing this it inspires parents to do the same. It changed my life. Having a support system is so critical. If you’re fortunate to receive that from your family, you’re extremely fortunate.
Contact Info:
- Website: Failure or Fearless – Amazon.com https://www.amazon.com/Failure-Fearless-Kristin-Coronado/dp/B084DHDTRH
