We were lucky to catch up with Melissa Foster recently and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Melissa , thank you so much for opening up with us about some important, but sometimes personal topics. One that really matters to us is overcoming Imposter Syndrome because we’ve seen how so many people are held back in life because of this and so we’d really appreciate hearing about how you overcame Imposter Syndrome.
Imposter syndrome is a common experience for many in this field, and I guess the question is do you really get over imposter syndrome or is it about managing or mitigating it? In my head, I see it as an ongoing process rather than a one-time resolution.
I’m not sure when I first noticed what I was feeling was imposter syndrome, but I have a core memory that as I look back on now, was absolutely imposter syndrome. I had applied for a position, that I didn’t think I was qualified for, or what I could actually get, and I got it! But my internal thoughts were things like “they must be pretty desperate to hire me”, “I don’t even have enough years of experience for this job”, and “I am going to have to work so hard to show them I deserve this”.
Moving towards overcoming imposter syndrome, I recognize that it’s a personal journey, that all of us come from different backgrounds and have different experiences that impact our work towards overing it.
Here are a few things that I’ve learned through my journey with imposter syndrome. I’ve recognized that my imposter syndrome stems from me discounting my achievement’s and attributions and chalking them up to luck. I’ve had to create a running list in my note section of my phone for my ‘achievements’. Whether it’s a positive message from a co worker, a goal met, or an award given, my list continues to grow, and I continue to look back on it when I need reminders that I am doing good work, and I deserve these opportunities.
I’ve recognized that my thoughts are not always my friends. By embracing more of a growth mindset I’ve recognized that successful people are a part of successful teams, and that I am not alone. I surround myself with others that I look to for support and community.
I’ve recognized the impact of gendered expectations and performance. It’s 2024 but we still have societal pressures and stereotypes we are constantly working towards breaking. I’ve given myself permission to say no and permission to delegate.
One word, vulnerability. I’ve recognized that sometimes I have to get vulnerable, that I am always learning in life, and accepting that I am not perfect, but I am authentic.
Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?
I am mental health therapist in private practice. I help individuals, more specifically young adults and adults, in high risk occupations overcome anxiety, stress, burn out, vicarious and secondary trauma, by drawling from evidence-based models and a whole person, holistic, lens. I help others by offering a safe and confidential space for them to explore and process.
I have found that we are are own worst enemy and clients but the helpers and healers of the world need space to take off their capes too.
I offer individual therapy and group therapy. I am certified in EMDR and offer this modality in the traditional model of weekly therapy, intensive model, and group setting.
I am excited to be launching a free, monthly, resourcing group where people can log in virtually from home and learn and experience relaxation skills.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
Easy, the three things would be resiliency, self-awareness, and adaptability.
Embrace a mindset of continuous learning whether it’s writing code on a website or keeping books. The willingness to acquire new knowledge, develop new skills, and adapt to changing circumstances is key.
Set clear goals and give yourself deadlines. Find support people and learn to bounce back from setbacks, give yourself a day or two to be upset and then back to the drawling board.
Tell us what your ideal client would be like?
My ideal client is a millennial that works in a helping profession that has a very busy schedule and they don’t think they actually have time to stop and care for themselves. Before coming to see my my ideal client wakes up everyday feeling overwhelmed. They’ve experienced some sort of stressor at work whether it’s a critical incident or staffing shortage and aren’t handling it well. They can’t seem to figure out why this is bothering them more than their coworkers.
My ideal client knows some tips and tricks for managing their mental health but are doing a crap job of implementing these things or think they can just stuff it all down and it will just go away.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.fosteringfortitudeohio.com
- Instagram: @fosteringfortitudeohio
Image Credits
Zencare.co