We were lucky to catch up with MARCOS GABRIEL recently and have shared our conversation below.
MARCOS, sincerely appreciate your selflessness in agreeing to discuss your mental health journey and how you overcame and persisted despite the challenges. Please share with our readers how you overcame. For readers, please note this is not medical advice, we are not doctors, you should always consult professionals for advice and that this is merely one person sharing their story and experience.
Since the age of 12, when I first realized I was depressed, or experiencing depression rather, I struggled with my at-times crippling anxiety. It wasn’t until I was 26 that I found myself at a crossroad with my mental health and my well being as a whole, and something desperately needed to change. Up until then I had always “ran into the fire” when it came to dealing with life’s obstacles and challenges- and to this day I still do. It’s in those moments I find I always perform at my best.
I was physically and mentally abused as a child, and at the age of 26 I was at my wits end. I felt nothing. I was a waking shell of a human. I had lost my father in a car accident in 2018 when I was 22. After that moment I began searching for who I was, and for about 5 years, I spent countless nights trying to reinvent myself in a way that would allow me to elevate my life, my family’s lives, etc.
In 2022, I found myself navigating the most difficult challenge yet that life had presented me with: trying to support my homeless mother who was living in a car for over a year while diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma Cancer, and trying to save myself from the suicidal thoughts and severe anxiety and depression i was experiencing but always kept on the back burner. In 2023, she passed away after only having fought a short battle with cancer as well as a long battle with depression and anxiety.
I was able to overcome my mental health challenges by running into them head on- straight into the fire. Following my father’s sudden passing in 2018, the person I was before that moment died and I was left with someone I didn’t even recognize. Through persistent introspective work, and theory I call “conscious living,” I found healing in rediscovering who I am and why I do things the way I do, why I should no longer continue activities/behaviors I used to, and more importantly I regained my sense of grounding. As of today, I am in the process of establishing a non-profit organization named “Alma’s Butterflies of Hope” in memory of my mother, and it will serve as a resource center that will provide those in need with valuable resources to improve quality of life, find help to navigate their mental health wellness journey, as well as promote research and treatment options for those affected by cancer.
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
People constantly tell me, “Marcos, you just have a way with people.” My response is always, shyly, “Thank you…but I’m just, Marcos.” It wasn’t until one day I sat with these words I kept hearing, that I realized so many people saw something in me I never did. That something they saw is my innate ability to bring out the best in others and make others feel good about themselves or feel good in general.
This always felt ironic to me because I struggled with depression and anxiety for basically all my life thus far and no one really knew except my siblings. I was never publicly vocal about it, yet I’m always the one comforting others and trying my best to make sure the people around me have a good, genuine space to be in physically & mentally.
When it comes to work, I’ve done everything from pushing shopping carts to polishing medical vaginal dilators. I also drove for Uber and InstaCart on the side for many years and in the middle of the night I would record makeup tutorials on TikTok and Instagram. Then one day in 2022, I delivered a pair of eyelashes and a bottle of tanning lotion that changed my life. I found myself at the doorstep of the Assistant Director of the Mrs. Florida America Pageant and she opened the floodgates that allowed me to do what I do best: making others feel, and now, look great.
Fast forward two years later, I have worked with world renowned photographer Nigel Barker from the hit TV series America’s Next Top Model on multiple photoshoots, luxury clean beauty brand La Beauté Fatale Cosmetics as their lead hair & makeup artist, I have established my own brand Butterfly Effects: Makeup by Marcos Gabriel, and most recently worked the Mrs. America and Mrs. World national pageants in Las Vegas. The best part of it all has been that I get to do something I truly love, and what I naturally do best. Currently I am working on further establishing my professional career in the beauty industry and engaging more with my community through the development of my non-profit organization in memory of my mother, Alma’s Butterflies of Hope. It is my mission to help others in need through this initiative with resources to improve their quality of life, and to help those in need affected by cancer, homelessness, and mental health issues.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
Having empathy, being persistent, and being committed are the three qualities that have gotten me where I am today. I once bombed a job interview for a print company when I was 18 and the interviewer, who was also the owner, told me “a three legged stool needs three legs to stand on to be sturdy. Without the third leg, it’s gonna fall.” He was metaphorically referring to a question he asked me earlier describing three valuable qualities I felt I had and how I came up short, but I took this constructively.
I’m 27 at the time of this and if I could give anyone a bit of knowledge that I have found to be extremely helpful in my own journey, it is to be patient with your timing, be persistent in your pursuit of your dreams, be kind to others, and my favorite bit of advice from my aunt Russelle, “the answer to every question is ‘No’ unless you ask.”
I also think of it like this: your dreams will never be reality unless you make them reality.
What was the most impactful thing your parents did for you?
Losing both of my parents within a 5 year span of each other – my father in a car accident and my mother 5 years later to cancer- really shook my reality and gave me a reality check that I never knew I needed. For all my life up until losing my father in 2018, I lived my life on autopilot not really sure where I was headed. I had ideas but I wasn’t serious until I learned how quickly you can be here today and gone tomorrow by losing the one person who was my beacon of light – my father.
When I lost my mother to cancer 5 years later in 2023, I sat by her bedside for about three weeks as she slowly faded away.
The experience of losing her cemented my belief in the importance of having compassion for others, and it also broke me in a way where I felt like I still had unfinished business and I felt robbed of that chance to help her. That unfinished business was to help her get back on her feet and to help her try to fight this cancer and heal her mental health.
These two experiences inadvertently made me a stronger person by breaking me and teaching me the value of life. They also helped me discover why I am who I am and what matters to me at my core.
Contact Info:
- Instagram: @marcosgabrielmua
@butterflyeffectsmbmg
@almasbutterfliesofhope
@mgadesignsolutions
@gibbyspetsupply
Image Credits
Image of Bayoud Twins, and close-up hand shot by @colinlyonsphoto for @nigelbarker @21chotels
