We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Danielle Billett a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Danielle, really appreciate your meeting with us today to talk about some particularly personal topics. It means a lot because so many in the community are going through circumstances where your insights and experience and lessons might help, so thank you so much in advance for sharing. The first question we have is about divorce and how you overcame divorce and didn’t allow the trauma of divorce to derail your vision for your life and career.
Choosing divorce was the single most difficult choice of my life. I never wanted to be divorced, being a child of divorced parents I did not want that for my children. I was with my ex-husband for a total of eight years, four of them being married. There were so many red flags that I should have paid attention to (I really want to write a book). I spent the last three years of my marriage going to couples therapy with him, but ultimately my soul had died. The therapist told me that she believed my ex-husband was not capable of loving me. I had a moment of ‘is this how I really want to spend the rest of my days’? ‘Is this really it for me’? Everyone had witnessed the light inside of me going out the longer that I was with him. I finally got to the point where I had done my due diligence and things still weren’t changing, I was still being verbally abused, I was still being financially abused, and I was already a single mom without actually being single, he was never home and always blamed work, when he had choices.
Leaving him and having two kids was the scariest thing I have ever done in my life. But I knew that I would be able to be a healthier, happier version of myself without his negative presence in my life. I knew that since I had already been raising two kids by myself that I could do it for real.
Of course, he did not make leaving easy. He was verbally brutal to me, and he made every step and continues to make every step a living hell, however through therapy and a support system, I have grown to really know my strength. I have created a beautiful life, and I am so much stronger and have realized that I am a forced to be reckoned with. I’ve gone to college and have gotten straight A’s. I’ve created my own business, and I have so many goals. To go from being told that if I did not marry him, I would be nothing and still living with my parents, to come out from under his thumb, and out of the box that he put me in, I see now the world is my oyster and I have no limits .
I have remarried, and I can’t even begin to tell you how lucky I am to have a man who loves me for me, who encourages me, and loves my children as his own. The incredibly vast difference between my marriages… I don’t know why I stayed so long. If I would have known that this life is what was waiting for me, I would have left so much sooner!
To anyone reading this, who is considering divorce, I can assure you that you will know in your heart and soul, when enough is enough, and that timing is different from person to person. You are the one that is living your life, so only you can know when you are truly done.
Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?
I’m an interior designer, and I run my own business called Interiors by Danielle Rae. I design custom homes, ADUs, remodels, and I provide home styling and staging. My favorite part of working with a client is the design process, finding materials that speak to my client’s personality and creating a space that is truly unique to them, it’s so rewarding. The whole process is fun and I have developed amazing friendships along the way.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
I think the biggest thing is knowing your self-worth, and as I’m getting older, I’m realizing that I don’t care about other people’s opinions about me or my life. Also, it is so important to be creative, whatever that may look like for you. For me, besides my job, it’s painting. It is important for your mental health to be creative!
Thanks so much for sharing all these insights with us today. Before we go, is there a book that’s played in important role in your development?
The book that has made the most impact is The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. Even though the title talks about artists, this book will help you find yourself worth, it will help you figure out what motivates you, it will help you know what your true goals in life are. I cannot begin to explain how empowering and motivating this book is. I had to do a lot of self reflection while reading this book, and it made a world of difference in my life.
Contact Info:
- Website: Interiorsbydaniellerae.com
- Instagram: Interiorsbydaniellerae
