Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Katy Troy. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Hi Katy, we’re so appreciative of you taking the time to share your nuggets of wisdom with our community. One of the topics we think is most important for folks looking to level up their lives is building up their self-confidence and self-esteem. Can you share how you developed your confidence?
My own journey to feeling confident was not so much a road paved with accomplishments, success, titles or achievement, but rather self discovery, patience and self compassion. In my experience, confidence isn’t about what you have achieved or acquired, but knowing who you are. Operating within your own strengths, owning your own limitations, understanding how to work with exactly what and who you are, instead of constantly working to change and improve yourself, these are the makings of a confident person.
We are constantly encouraged and taught to better ourselves, improve or resolve our weaknesses, overcome our shortcomings and, above all, succeed. I feel like this notion is taught from an early age and it leaves us always striving to do and achieve more. We are told “fake it until you make it” and so many of us have the belief that once we achieve, accomplish or acquire, we will be able to feel more confident. Confidence doesn’t need to wait on achievement, it can exist in your exact situation and space right now.
There are things that cause me doubt, that even derail me from my goals sometimes, but I can use my own introspection as a tool to reset. To shift my own perspective on the situation, to ask myself “What do I think, what do I feel, what do I need right now?”
On my own road to confidence, I had to acknowledge how much time I was spending on trying to prove myself to others, consumed with how others perceived me. I learned that, not only can I not control the perception of others, it is also none of my business what they think of me. It is not that I don’t care what others think, but I care about what I think more. I practice bringing the focus back to me: what I want, what I think, what I feel. I validate my own dreams and fears, I provide space for my feelings and experiences. I have discovered that I am, in fact, not better without those things that make me feel vulnerable. The truth is, as I integrate all those pieces, I become stronger.
Learning about yourself, understanding your strengths, validating your desires, all of these acts of self discovery lead to confidence. The road to confidence is full of ups and downs, so many lessons and deep realizations. I like to remind myself to have patience for the process, because it is a journey not a light switch flipping on.
Instead of fixing or improving, what if you just focused on what you are really good at right now? Upon that exploration, you might be surprised at how good you are at so many things. You have unique skills and strengths, things that come so easily to you that you may have dismissed them in the past.
I became a truly confident person when I understood who I truly was, honored and operated from my strengths and stopped trying to be someone that I am not.
Finally, one of the most important factors in my feeling of confidence is having compassion and understanding. Giving myself the space to feel, heal and grow. No matter where I am or what I am doing, if I am feeling confident or if I am feeling stuck and vulnerable, I can offer kindness to myself and validate my experiences and feelings.
Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?
My name is Katy Troy and I am a personal development coach. I offer a unique and holistic approach to my work with clients who are seeking life path clarity, professional advancement and personal fulfillment.
I have been in the holistic wellness field for 15 years and found myself feeling frustrated with our industry’s focus on self improvement, identifying problems and naming their solutions. Although this is an important aspect of holistic health, my personal journey has led me to focus on understanding why we constantly feel we need to change and improve ourselves. What causes us to always look for the best diet, supplement, exercise, meditation, practitioner, et cetera? When we are stuck in the constant cycle of healing, are we giving ourselves a chance to fully appreciate and experience life? I went on a mission to learn how we can accept that there are always going to be improvements that can happen, while also learning how to embrace ourselves fully as we are right now.
I truly believe that real self acceptance is the way forward. This isn’t about giving up or not facing those things that are keeping us stuck, unhappy and unhealthy, but rather giving in to who we are and approaching our own personal journey with curiosity, compassion and excitement.
My work isn’t for everyone. It is for individuals who are ready to walk into the unknown and approach life in a new way. Although I have a lot of tools, techniques, education and resources, I am not in the practice of fixing. I love to help individuals on their own journey, learning to trust themselves and listen to their own inner wisdom; allowing their intuition to guide them forward.
It sounds simple in theory, but we have been conditioned to not trust ourselves, and it takes some work to get back to that aligned and trusting place that we were born with. Consider the last time you had an ailment or problem, did you automatically go within or did you look outside yourself for the answer? How often do you look outside yourself for answers? What would it be like to be able to feel calm and trusting in every situation, even when the answer or outcome is unclear or scary?
Specifically, I work with individuals who are feeling like they are running out of time in their life and generally frustrated. They want to accomplish more, get further in their career or personal life, but they feel like they are unable to create the life that they want. Maybe they feel like it isn’t possible, or that they need to improve or change themselves first, or maybe they just have no idea where to start. That is where I come in! I love to help individuals clarify and validate their goals, move through the stagnation and the obstacles that seem to be in their way, and create a new path towards the life they want to live.
I have training and certifications in holistic and psychological nutrition, hypnotherapy, life coaching, sensation processing and energy clearing. I also utilize my background in social justice, feminist theory, public policy and crisis intervention to create an empowered approach to personal development work.
I feel the most proud when I see my clients succeeding in their careers and finding fulfillment in their personal lives. Growth that is rooted in inner wisdom may take longer, it may not look like what we are taught growth is supposed to look like, but it is real and lasting. This is not quick fix work, there are no tricks or perfect plans, you actually hold the answers to your own path, you may have just forgotten how to listen to yourself.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
The three qualities that have been the most impactful in my own journey are trust, compassion and flexibility.
Trust in the process. Trust yourself that you see your vision and that you do not need to prove yourself to anyone or convince anyone else that your vision is important and achievable. Trust that your visions and dreams can be attained, even if you don’t fully see how yet. When you have those gut feelings, even if it doesn’t make sense, follow it!
My next quality that I find so important and necessary is compassion. Working for yourself has its own set of challenges. You can feel isolated, overworked, unseen and unsure of your next steps. Impostor syndrome is something I think we all experience sometimes. We may focus on our flaws or mistakes and work hard to push through them. I believe that, no matter who you are, what you have done, you deserve compassion. Compassion for everything that you have done and not done. Compassion and gentleness because it is hard to do this and you are doing it!
My advice is to reflect on situations in which you are being hard on yourself or focusing on a mistake that you made, take an opportunity to take a deep breath, place a hand on your chest and be kind to yourself. Offer yourself that compassion, even just for a moment and even if you have a belief you don’t deserve it. Consider how restricted you feel when you are hyper focused on shortcomings or mistakes. More doors will open in the compassionate space.
My final quality, that I find the most impactful on my journey, is flexibility. We are so encouraged to be consistent; we have been taught to believe that consistency is a sign of success and hard work. When we offer flexibility to our work, we have more room for growth. We may expand our target market, or change it completely. I like to offer this consideration: Consider yourself today, in comparison to where you were three years ago. Even if you have a very structured life, you probably have had lots of surprises along the way that caused you to have to make changes in your life. Do you have the same goals as 3 years ago? Do you spend your time the same? What has changed, grown, left, what have you learned? When we make goals for the future, we want to incorporate flexibility into those goals. Consider that you are adding in room to grow. You may change, and with flexibility, your goals can change with you. This allows you to keep focusing on what you want to achieve without getting lost in the accomplishment of completing a task or feeling like a failure if you let go of a specific, structured goal.
Awesome, really appreciate you opening up with us today and before we close maybe you can share a book recommendation with us. Has there been a book that’s been impactful in your growth and development?
The book that I absolutely love, and that has played an important role in my own development, is Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer. This book offers a beautiful look at life through the combined lens of science, spirit and love. The author’s story and viewpoint remind us of the value in slowing down, appreciation and compassion.
A favorite lesson of mine from this incredible story is the concept that, as we love the Earth, the Earth also loves us in return. When we have the viewpoint that the Earth loves us, we begin to see the magic and beauty that surrounds us at all times. It is humbling to be a part of such an amazing place, offering gratitude and grace as we move forward knowing that we are held and loved by the very planet we place our feet on. Through the chaos, strife and pain that exists in this world, this story reminds me to come back to Earth, to give in, and offer gratitude.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.katytroy.com
- Linkedin: linkedin.com/in/katy-troy-6411a7268
