Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Patty Paul. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Patty, we’re thrilled to have you on our platform and we think there is so much folks can learn from you and your story. Something that matters deeply to us is living a life and leading a career filled with purpose and so let’s start by chatting about how you found your purpose.
I found my life’s purpose…and a whole lot more…on a certain Sunday in July in 1985.
This is the story of how it all came about:
As I savored the peace and quiet of that summer morning in 1985, I sipped my coffee and enjoyed the warm air floating into my living room through the open French doors. No annoying alarm clock had awakened me. No office beckoned. It was Sunday and I could do anything I wanted. I ended up changing my life that day.
I needed to do some housecleaning and as I moved from room to room in my condo, my thoughts drifted to my brief marriage that had recently ended. Our parting had been by amicable agreement. I felt a wave of relief and gratitude that our relationship had ended so quickly and painlessly, unlike several others. This had been marriage number three for me, with an engagement and a couple of other long-term relationships also in my past.
As I thought about it, the question I asked myself was: “How, at the age of fifty and a widow for twelve years—thinking I am so much wiser and more experienced now—did I make the same life-altering, seemingly bad choice to get married that I’d made as an insecure girl of eighteen?”
I wanted the answer to that question.
I sat myself down on my living room couch and began an honest, sometimes painful review of my life from the time I was a child to the Me sitting on that couch.
I had always been deeply interested in psychology and human behavior and had been studying those subjects for years. But the truth was that I was good at analyzing others but never made the effort to analyze myself. This time it was different.
Among other things, I acknowledged how independent and self-sufficient I had always been from about four years of age when I left my grandma’s care to live with my mother and her new husband. But I also recognized that there was this other needy side of independent-me that always had to have a man in my life. As a child I wanted a daddy. In adolescence I yearned for a boyfriend. Even as a responsible, self-sufficient adult my life didn’t seem complete without a man in it.
But why?
Hours passed and I kept digging deeper; over and over asking myself How and Why.
As the memories came to me, I felt alternately sad, chagrined, and angry with myself. Had I really been that clueless? That desperate? I reviewed not only the circumstances of what had happened and how I had felt, but also the person I was being at the time. For the first time ever, I admitted that my drinking was more than “social” and it sometimes led to behavior that was irresponsible and unbecoming. A wave of embarrassment and shame swept through me. “I don’t want to be that person anymore.”
After being removed from my grandma’s care to live with my mother, I had virtually raised myself. I never felt loved or accepted by my mother. The truth is she neglected me. I remember her telling little me about “survival of the fittest.” Her explanation may have been over my head, but the gist of her meaning was not: You better look out for yourself—because you’re on your own kid.
Although I didn’t have the words to explain it, I had a deep-seated feeling that since everyone knows that mothers automatically love and take care of their children, and mine did not, there must be something inherently wrong with me.
It also seemed as though everyone but me knew the secret of how to belong, how to fit in. I compensated for my inept social graces by trying to look perfect, be perfect and please other people—especially authority figures—hoping that would make me acceptable. Even loveable.
As a young adult, I often practiced in my head what I would say in a conversation. I found that drinking eased my anxiety in social situations—until eventually it began causing problems.
Now, as these insights came to me, I realized that maybe I just never learned how else to be. As I began to let in feelings of understanding, compassion, and forgiveness for myself, a weight began lifting from my heart.
But what about my pattern of having romantic relationships—one after another—interspersed with months of longing to be in one? And those three marriages and my other long-term romantic involvements? It had never dawned on me before how different those men were from each other; older, younger, with vastly different personalities, interests, educations, and occupations. How odd that seemed now. “Wait a minute. (A flash of insight.) The one common thread in that string of disparate relationships is ME!”
I realized in that moment that if my life was going to change, I would have to change.
Right then I made two choices. The first was to learn how to change myself. The second was to explore my spiritual side—something I had put on the back burner while I raised my two children. Organized religion and that vengeful Father-God had never felt right for me, but metaphysics always had.
Within two days, extraordinary things began to happen. It was as though a door had swung wide open and information and opportunities began flowing to me. Right away, I heard about Shirley MacLaine’s book, Out on a Limb, published three years earlier, and I knew I had to read it.
What stood out for me in that book were Shirley’s accounts of attending events where wise non-physical channeled beings spoke before an audience. One being she mentioned was Ramtha, channeled by J.Z. Knight. I had no idea that such things were taking place or how I could participate. I just knew that somehow, someway I had to hear a channeled-being sharing their wisdom.
Soon after reading Out on a Limb, this surprising thought popped into my head: “I want to visit my friend Barbara for the weekend.” I had known Barbara since the third grade but had never visited her after she moved to Colorado years before. Flying there for only a weekend—it was too soon to ask for time off from my new job—normally would have seemed a waste of money to practical me. “You have to go,” said my inner voice.
I called Barbara to see if I could come for a short visit. “Sure,” she said. Two Fridays later I took off from LAX and landed in Denver.
Barbara picked me up at the airport and as we headed to her place, I mentioned my interest in the channeled beings I had read about in Out on a Limb. I knew she would understand because she also was into metaphysics. Barbara had read MacLaine’s book too—and it turned out that she had two video tapes of recent workshops given by Ramtha. She said that each video was about three hours long and asked if I would like to watch them when we got to her house.
“Yes, I would.” And that is exactly what I did, even before I unpacked.
As I watched those videos, I was fascinated by the channeling process and by what Ramtha had to say, especially: “You create your own reality.” I knew in my gut that was true.
After my visit with Barbara, time seemed to fly by. I began reading all kinds of self-help and personal growth books that were popular at the time. In September I attended a weeklong Ramtha retreat in Estes Park, Colorado. I took vacation time off from work to be there and Barbara was my roommate. About four months later I attended a Ramtha weekend seminar at a hotel close to my home in Orange County.
In the interim, I had been watching more Ramtha videos, which I rented from a local New Age bookstore owned by a woman named Chip.
After attending the local Ramtha event, watching many videos, and listening to Ramtha’s audio tapes on wide ranging subjects, I began questioning the value of their teachings. I heard many inconsistencies and contradictions that didn’t jibe with “You create your own reality,” which I knew was the bottom-line truth.
One last time I went to the bookstore to return a Ramtha video and to rent one that Chip was holding for me. When I arrived, she told me the Ramtha video was not available after all. “But I think you’ll like this one.” She handed me a video of a talk given by Lazaris, entitled Awakening the Love. I recalled that MacLaine had also mentioned Lazaris, a non-physical being channeled by Jach Pursel. Obviously, this was the video I was meant to take home with me.
As I watched Lazaris’ video, the wisdom and truths they shared resonated within me at soul level—especially “You create your own reality, no ifs, ands or buts.” Everything I heard rang true as wisdom that I wanted to understand and live by. I knew that Lazaris was the one who could help me grow and change. That was in early 1986. Lazaris’ final workshop before a large audience took place about thirty-five years later. Throughout those years I attended a multitude of Lazaris’ evenings, weekend workshops and four-day intensives. I also listened to hundreds of hours of recordings and videos, either made at those events or in addition to them.
Most importantly, I was digesting and integrating what I was learning—actually living it—and using the many processes and techniques that were suggested to improve my life. In that way, then and now, I have been continuously evolving; following my own unique path. The result has been increasing success, happiness, and unexpected opportunities. Oh yes—and magic and miracles too!
Even now, at the age of 88 years old, my life continues to be an amazing adventure of self-discovery—one that began with those two choices I made on that certain Sunday in 1985.
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
I am the author of EXPLORING OTHER LIFETIMES: Memoir of a Soul’s Journey (pub 2019); A New Spirituality: Beyond Religion (pub 1995); and Intimidad Espiritual (pub 2008). I have also written articles and essays for many publications.
As a speaker, I have given workshops and talks on subjects related to personal and spiritual growth,
I have 57 half-hour videos, in talk-show format, on my YouTube channel: Living Wisdom with Patty Paul.
At present, I am making author appearances at Barnes & Noble stores, & other places, to talk about my latest book, EXPLORING OTHER LIFETIMES: Memoir of a Soul’s Journey.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
The basic premise I live by is: “I create my own reality…no ifs, ands or buts.” That leads to self-empowerment.
To take that ownership requires taking more and more responsibility for creating my life…and in return receiving more and more personal freedom, happiness and fun.
My suggestion to others who would like similar results begins with: Stop blaming others and stop seeing yourself as a victim.
What has been your biggest area of growth or improvement in the past 12 months?
Being more present by letting go of past events and relationships instead of trying to fix them and/or revive them.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.23brightfuture.wixsite.com/patty-paul
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PattyPaul.LivingWisdom/?ref=page_internal
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/patty-paul-056015113/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@livingwisdomwithpattypaul4154/videos
- Other: [email protected]
Image Credits
Author’s portrait by Kevin Roznowski
