We were lucky to catch up with Barbara Spitzer recently and have shared our conversation below.
Barbara, so good to have you with us today. We’ve got so much planned, so let’s jump right into it. We live in such a diverse world, and in many ways the world is getting better and more understanding but it’s far from perfect. There are so many times where folks find themselves in rooms or situations where they are the only ones that look like them – that might mean being the only woman of color in the room or the only person who grew up in a certain environment etc. Can you talk to us about how you’ve managed to thrive even in situations where you were the only one in the room?
I was the only woman on the leadership team for five years as a partner for a large global management consulting firm—my “only” status lasted three years until we finally hired two women and promoted another. Of the four of us, only one remained more than one year later. Anyone who understands culture would describe this one as very male-dominated, patriarchal, and somewhat misogynistic. At first, I tried to fit in; the leadership team was full of men who ranged from macho to kindhearted. I am still friends with one or two kindhearted ones and have lost touch with the others. Fitting in was tough because they did things like go to strip clubs, take golf outings, and partied pretty hard, and at times, it felt like they’d had a meeting before the meeting. Then, I tried to fight, to be more overt, and to make myself heard. I was labeled “sharp-elbowed” (whatever that means) and difficult, among other things. It was a struggle. Everything changed when promotion season rolled around, and leadership promoted two guys to SVP but not me. I looked hard at their performance against my own, and my achievements were no less than theirs. I was pretty angry for a few days, but then I decided that I would stand up for myself and get a meeting with the global CEO (my boss’s boss). I laid out the facts — what I sold versus what they sold, my client account success and impact, and the numerous internal contributions from teaching at our university to growing my team by 30%. Much to my surprise, the global CEO did not deny or push back; he told me point blank that he had made a mistake (it was not his mistake, it was my bosses’) and agreed to promote me immediately and asked me to help shape the communication as to why I was not on the original list. It was the first time I calmly, factually, and firmly took a stand for what I had earned and deserved. From that day onward, I felt more respected by my peers. What made the difference was that I was not trying to fit in as “one of the guys” or fighting a fight I could not win. I had an undeniable case flush with facts and evidence. I ended up leaving about a year later because the culture remained toxic, and I knew I did not need that. Being the only one is lonely, but many women, people of color, LGBTQ+, and people with disabilities know this all too well. Sometimes, it’s a culture fit problem; other times, it’s about you. Are you confident in what you bring? Are you trying to fit in versus trying to change the environment? Are you enabling the bad behavior in any way? I asked myself these questions once I’d left that job and vowed never to let that happen again. I am thrilled to say that the job that followed was fabulous! I took what I learned and created a different reality for myself.
Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?
Barbara is the founder and CEO of Two Rivers Partners, LLC, a consulting firm that prepares non-profit, small, and midsized organizations for today’s disruptive forces. She aligns business and workforce strategies focusing on leadership, culture, human capital, and change, resulting in purpose-driven, large-scale transformation. With each endeavor, Barbara continues to build a legacy of empowerment, leaving an indelible mark on the journey to a better, brighter tomorrow.
Barbara is a trailblazer, dedicating her career to transforming organizations into thriving learning, growth, and fulfillment hubs. With a 35-year journey, Barbara’s commitment to global transformation through people has shaped her into a catalyst for positive change. Recently transitioning into a portfolio career, Barbara’s impact resonates across companies, non-profits, academia, and corporate boardrooms. Her mission extends beyond borders, encompassing youth leadership, disability inclusion, mental wellness, and the fight against food insecurity.
Barbara holds a BS in Psychology from James Madison University and an MA in Industrial/Organizational Psychology from Columbia University. Barbara is a National Association of Corporate Director (NACD) Certified Director. In her spare time, Barbara travels the world seeking new and exotic places to scuba dive and hone her underwater photography skills.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
1) Believe in yourself, even if you don’t feel it. “Fake it till you make it” is a saying that came from a Simon and Garfunkel song, “Fakin’it.” Fake it till you make it refers to the idea of projecting self-confidence to convince yourself that you can attain a goal you feel you do not yet have the skills to achieve (I underline “feel” because you probably are more qualified than you give yourself credit). As far as I am concerned, as long as you know where you’re headed and how you get there, it will be a twisty, curvy journey with obstacles and assists. Everyone on this planet has value; you have value, and don’t ever forget it.
2) Know yourself. Being self-aware and knowing your strengths and foibles is a sign of great maturity and humility. I had to remind myself it’s not all about me; it’s about others around me, imperative if you are in leadership or aspire to be. I am a massive believer in servant leadership; gone are the days of the heavy-paneled executive suite. Be humble, be unique, and know that we are all fallible.
3) Work hard. I have more years behind me than ahead. What do I mean by work hard? I don’t mean burnout or being a workaholic. What I mean is think about what you want to do with the last third of your life – even if you don’t have the specifics – and figure out how you will fund that. Once you know, work hard to create the wealth you need to realize that vision. Money, for money’s sake, is meaningless. Money for purpose is everything. I worked hard to create the wealth I need for my lifestyle and to advise non-profits and give to my philanthropic passions – youth, the ocean, mental well-being, and fighting food insecurity.
How would you describe your ideal client?
I serve purpose-led non-profits or small, growing for-profit enterprises with a mission. After 35 years of helping my clients make more money (which I am all for, as a capitalist), I want to marry my passion for mission with money. Even a non-profit is a commercial enterprise. My ideal client is an organization doing something important in the world (corporate or otherwise). I like to partner with my clients and then serve their needs in a way that doesn’t waste their time and allows them to excel in whatever objective they are pursuing. I can handle any client’s characteristics, even or especially the tough ones. I thrive under high expectations, so I want my clients to be tough – as long they are reasonable.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.tworiverspartners.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/biespitz/
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/barbaraspitzer/
- Threads: https://www.threads.net/@biespitz
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwQPzV1r8X_YtxoEVCtRAUQ
Image Credits
The last three photos. Credit to Joe D’Angelo https://www.joedangelophotography.com/
