We recently connected with Carrie Freshour and have shared our conversation below.
Carrie, thanks so much for taking the time to share your insights and lessons with us today. We’re particularly interested in hearing about how you became such a resilient person. Where do you get your resilience from?
I love this question. For me, it has often meant toughness. Not always in a healthy way, sometimes merely as survival. At the same time, at my core, I have always been driven by an unquenchable thirst for understanding, a deep-rooted need to make sense of it all.
My personal mission has become “Seeking to find meaning in the hard.” I mean, what is the alternative? For me, that began as a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and continued through patterns of multi-generational trauma responses. I know the intimate contours of pain, the relentless feeling of not measuring up, and the nagging sense of unworthiness and the life-long impacts it carries.
I recognized that I only had control over my own healing, and first, I had to heal those wounds because I knew then that there would be a day. I have always wanted to make it matter, to write and teach, to break stigma and shame, and to empower others. To do that, it had to be from the scar.
For me, resilience emerges when I acknowledge and take responsibility for my own pain. I’ve learned to pivot when triggered, prioritizing the principle of doing no harm. Understanding that do no harm applies to me, too, and that shifting doesn’t equate to failure has been a crucial lesson I’ve had to embrace repeatedly throughout my life and career, continually propelling myself forward.
From an early age, I developed a unique talent— the ability to read a room. Like a human emotion radar, I had a knack for sensing the emotional currents. Attributed to the compassionate therapists who guided me, I later ventured into the labyrinth of psychology, diving into both individual and organizational intricacies.
Today, I write a monthly blog from this perspective of Radical Resilience, which I define as
A transformative framework that integrates social and healing justice into personal growth and work, addressing historical barriers and fostering collective care as a form of resistance. Emphasizing the power of self-compassion, intentional actions, and healing in confronting oppression and cultivating meaningful connections.
Readers can sign up on my website; this is one way I give back each month, offering insight and encouragement to what is often left unspoken. When you sign up, you will also receive a free copy of my E-book, Trauma Informed Leadership: Navigating Change and Transforming Culture.
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
My career path was diverse as I continued to seek opportunities that deepened my scope, spanning residential treatment centers, educational institutions, healthcare and government agencies, and private practice. I started at the ground level, caring for individuals, and progressively assumed leadership roles, guiding both programs and people.
The pivotal moment came when my family endured a devastating fire. At the time, I juggled roles as the acting CEO and COO of an anti-trafficking organization, an entity deeply ingrained in the understanding of trauma. Yet, I had begun questioning our ability to put that knowledge into practice, sensing a stark discrepancy in what I was experiencing firsthand.
This had come at a time that felt like a career crossroads. What did I really want to be doing? When it came down to it, I wanted option one, only for the title. Because with the title, it could mean I was finally “enough.”
I wanted to stop being silent in the board room because it went against the grain. I wanted to stand up against what I was seeing, noticing, and now experiencing—A dichotomy between what we say we are and how we show up.
I didn’t have the confidence to do it. Imposter syndrome had kicked in. Then there was that whole “Speak from the scar” philosophy. However, I had to learn that too.
Ultimately, I walked away, and amid the pause came COVID-19.
It wasn’t until some time later, following a much-needed pause and a journey of healing, that I began to recognize it for what it truly was – yet another opportunity concealed within life’s hardships.
This was my chance to become the change I ardently desired to witness in our world. I needed to unearth the profound meaning within this experience, and that’s when my mission truly ignited.
In 2021, I obtained my LLC and went all in. I wholeheartedly invested in both myself and the burning passion within me, a passion dedicated to dismantling the pervasive walls of stigma and shame that enshroud our shared humanity.
I set my sights on aiding organizations and leaders in guiding individuals through their human experiences, equipping them with the skills to navigate difficult conversations, and ultimately fostering the transformation of workplace cultures into more compassionate and understanding environments.
Recognizing that we possess the best practices backed by solid evidence and science, I was struck by the realization that we often fall short, not just within mental health and healthcare but also in the corporate landscape.
This discrepancy is amplified by the growing demand for mental health services in a world where there are not enough to go around— and yet, if we begin to be more proactive in the places where we invest a significant portion of our lives in our careers than maybe –maybe we can begin to make a difference.
My mission embraces courage and vulnerability in a world often clouded by bias and resistance to change. Countless layers of systemic prejudice and entrenched cultural norms hinder the implementation of best practices.
The literal and figurative fire that ignited within me serves as a testament to my belief that every challenge, no matter how painful, carries the seeds of meaning and opportunity. It’s been my opportunity to break down barriers, shatter the silence, and lead with unwavering grace, transcending the personal to inspire profound change in the world.
Is there anything else you’d like folks to know about your brand/ and services?
There are no cookie-cutter approaches to human behavior. I strive to meet clients where they are to apply evidence-informed practices to each unique client’s mission, vision, culture, and actionable steps. By doing so, I provide executive and leadership coaching, group workshops for corporate, government, and non-profit clients, keynotes, and focus group facilitation.
Please tell our readers about anything new (events, product/service launches, expansion, etc.)
Sure, I would love to! Yes! My inner child, that #dearyoungerme, is making her dreams come true, too!
On March 5th, I will be a featured author in Brave Kids, Short Stories to Inspire Our Future World Changes, volume 2. Secrets of the Weeping WIlliow [Chapter 22] Is a tale of a girl, Sarah, who discovers her internal compass beneath a weeping willow’s enchanting branches. Laughter dances in this sanctuary of joy until Sarah’s special spot “feels” different. As magic wanes, Sarah relies on her gut instincts. A heartwarming twist unfolds as she bravely opens up to her mom, unraveling the secrets that took place beneath the green canopy. This captivating short story empowers kids to be brave, speak up, and embrace the strength within their unspoken experiences. For caregivers, it’s a gentle tale of prevention, urging all to trust their instincts and embark on a journey of courage and trust.
You can preorder using this link. All preorders receive a special signed edition, bonus bookmarks, and educator/caregiver guides.
You can also discover our full spectrum of services, from inspiring keynotes and interactive workshops to facilitating intimate conversations and providing strategic guidance; our offerings are tailored to your Individual and collective growth. To learn more, visit my website carriefreshourconsulting.com.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
Looking back, I’d highlight resilience, faith, and courage or vulnerability as the cornerstones of my journey.
Firstly, resilience has been pivotal. My father’s adage, “I learn things the hard way,” resonates deeply. Embracing mistakes as learning opportunities have fueled my progress – it took a little longer to do so without succumbing to shame.
Secondly, my intentional relationship with God, though not conventionally devout, has provided unwavering support and guidance, even amidst sometimes colorful language.
Thirdly, fostering courage and vulnerability has been transformative. Overcoming self-doubt and fear of judgment has been a journey of self-discovery and growth. Embracing difficult conversations and acknowledging mistakes has strengthened connections and fostered collective growth.
In my nearly 50 years of life and more than 25 years in this human field of study and work, I have learned that we are far more alike than we are different.
My advice for those embarking on their journey is to embrace resilience, nurture grounding habits, and cultivate courage and vulnerability. Lean into discomfort, acknowledge mistakes without self-condemnation, and approach growth with curiosity and kindness. Together, we can build resilient communities rooted in justice and collective care.
What do you do when you feel overwhelmed? Any advice or strategies?
Thank you for asking this question. Balancing the complexities of being a solo entrepreneur and managing my own journey with complex PTSD and anxiety, alongside my high-achieving nature, can indeed be overwhelming at times. One foundational element is Therapy. I have been trained to value therapy personally and professionally as a clinician. I find solace and validation in its ongoing support. Therapy keeps me grounded and allows me to process and release, which helps me keep overwhelm at bay.
Alongside therapy, my coping strategies involve embracing rituals like writing and journaling to ground my thoughts and emotions.
Five years ago, after the fire, my rituals and routines became a lifeline in the midst of great overwhelm, and today, when I feel overwhelm creep in, I return to my core. It starts with noticing. Noticing that my body, and my nervous systems are out of sync.
In moments of overwhelm, I’ve learned to listen to my body’s cues, acknowledging the racing heart and other physical signs that signal distress. I pause, focusing on my breath until I find a sense of calm. Utilizing my faith, I center myself with a simple affirmation or prayer, reconnecting with my core practices like morning devotionals and gratitude journaling.
When life and work feel imbalanced, I prioritize self-care by taking dedicated days for rest and reflection. I encourage my clients to do the same for themselves and their teams.
This is followed by strategic reset days, where I find clarity by jotting down everything on my mind and organizing it into categories (pillars), separating what’s truly essential from what can wait. Through this process, I’ve come to realize that many of our deadlines are self-imposed, and with purposeful planning, we can navigate our responsibilities more effectively.
While I don’t subscribe to the idea of a perfect 50/50 balance, it doesn’t work like that; I aim for equilibrium that allows me to nurture myself, my relationships, and my professional endeavors. This balance fluctuates, but what remains constant are my pillars of ritual, routine, rest, and reflection, which anchor me through life’s storms and celebrations alike.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.carriefreshourconsulting.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carriefreshourllc/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CarriefreshourLLC/
- Linkedin: linkedin.com/in/carriefreshourllc
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e1xHwAI1_qM
- Other: TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@carriefreshourllc?lang=en Link in Bio: https://linktr.ee/carriefreshourllc
Image Credits
Matt Ryb https://www.mattryb.com/ Kia Hicks @ Producing the Dream https://kiashicks.com/
