We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Justin Ho. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Justin below.
Justin, we are so deeply grateful to you for opening up about your journey with mental health in the hops that it can help someone who might be going through something similar. Can you talk to us about your mental health journey and how you overcame or persisted despite any issues? For readers, please note this is not medical advice, we are not doctors, you should always consult professionals for advice and that this is merely one person sharing their story and experience.
Still persisting, it’s always challenging, but that’s pretty much why I attempt to continue writing and making films. There isn’t anything distinctly unique about an artist pouring their pain into their work. I’m no one special or unique in that matter. But it’s a common thing because it is very true, creating things, or at least trying to is what helps keep me going. I feel I’m able to reach out further with my attempts at filmmaking. The thought that maybe someone will watch something I made and feel a connection to it or feel heard. That’s the reason why I watch movies, or even play video games. To live out other lives, to experience things one never had the chance to. The cinema screen, the TV screen, or even a phone screen, all windows to other lives, all with possibilities of connection.
Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?
I enjoy sleeping and do that quite often, so much that often times it’s incredibly difficult to get out of bed. Who am I kidding, it’s always difficult to get out of bed. I’ve just been so exhausted lately, trying to write, trying to hold onto that hope that maybe one day my attempts at filmmaking will reach more people. I guess besides sleeping that’s what I do, I try to make movies. It honestly feels weird to say I’m a “Filmmaker” sure I’ve made films, but it’s always been a struggle, mostly financially as well as my own continual self doubt. Feels like I have yet to really earn that title haha. But in the end it’s all I feel I have, a way to release the pain that eats me up on the inside. It is very helpful to get all that out and eventually on a screen. That’s the exciting part, when anything I’ve made is screening in front of audience, it’s both terrifying and exciting. Although that doesn’t happen too often.
I recently just made a new feature film titled Broken Pieces. Shot it on a shoestring budget, not unique amongst this world of struggling independent filmmakers. But it is a world I’ve unfortunately found very difficult to climb out of. The plus side to working on a film with an incredibly small budget, is anyone who works on it is passionate about it, and that means so very much to me. I ended up having to shoot this particular film in a very unorthodox way in order to not just fit within the budget, but to also help practically, as well as helping with the whole feel of the film. Unfortunately right now can’t give too much details about that, but I am actually decently happy with the result, which says a lot because it’s hard for me to be satisfied with anything I try doing. I’ve currently been submitting to film festivals around the world, at the time of writing this so far haven’t gotten into anything, but hopefully soon will be screening somewhere. Maybe by the time this goes up it will be screening somewhere. Regardless though I’m so very grateful to everyone who help make this film a possibility, it may be an independent film but I surly was dependent on so many people.
I have been making films since I was a wee child, back in elementary school when I picked up a camera for the first time to film the graves of Thomas Edison and his wife Mina haha. I remember that day, my parents brought my sister and I to visit Thomas Edison’s house, and in their yard were their graves, I asked if I can film it, my dad gave me the camcorder, and the rest is history. I just always found it funny that the first thing I ever filmed was graves, I often times think about how poetic that feels since I’ve been struggling trying to make it in this “career” maybe the graves were just foreshadowing for the eventual death of my attempts at filmmaking haha. You can actually see that first thing I ever shot on YouTube, I have a channel called Minor MotionPicture. I originally made that YouTube channel for my last feature film titled Minor Motion Picture, but since then I’ve just been uploading all of my old childhood movies on there, from elementary school years to college years.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
This is actually a hard question for me, I’m not entirely sure. It’s been hard for me to find much qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge in myself lately, I always feel I can learn more or do better. Granted reaching perfection is impossible, and I for sure know I may never even reach mediocrity haha, but maybe that there is one quality I guess I have. Feeling I’m never good enough, perhaps leads to wanting to do better? Although sometimes feeling I’m never good enough makes it very difficult for me to want to do anything. But I think in general regardless of how bad my self depreciation is, it is always important to know that you can always improve on something. And maybe it doesn’t work out and you have to start over… just keep on pushing that boulder up the hill over and over again. Find the joy in it, or at least try. With filmmaking it’s such a personal and therapeutic thing for me that I feel a sense solace at times when I’m trying to write a new script. If there is any advice I’d give anyone early in their journey it would be to use art as that means to expel any pain you have, to release whatever is clawing at you on the insides. And mostly just make whatever makes you happy, or content at least. Always acknowledge that there will always be ways to improve, or to even change things up. Nothing is static in this world, things are constantly changing, same with any form of art or skill. It should always be changing and challenging. I apologies if I’m not fully answering this question, but even with art in general, it’s hard to fully ever be fully finished with it. But at one point you have to let it go and put it out there.
Is there a particular challenge you are currently facing?
This has been the same challenge I’ve been facing for decades and with age it only gets heavier and harder to hold. Loneliness is not a unique thing, it’s unfortunately quite common and seems like many people now a days are feeling this. As of writing this I have never been on a date, I have never kissed anyone, I have never held someones hand. And it hurts so much, the pain shoots deeper every year, and fills me with stone making it harder and harder to wake up every day. I’ll be 34 this year and it’s hard to believe I’ve managed to go on so long like this. But as I’ve mentioned previously, it’s my attempts at filmmaking that help keep me going. I’ve come to notice every film I’ve made is pretty much my thesis report on all the information I’ve gathered from what I’ve seen in the real world with relationships. Seeing the joys and pain my friends go through, seeing and listening to other artists depict it. Love is such an intrinsically universal part of humanity, it’s woven into all our media, all our art, it is a fascinating emotion… a beautiful emotion… a painful emotion. And I yearn to know what it’s like to be wanted, so I make films and hope it reaches many people. I’m just shooting off flairs into the night sky hoping someone notices, but so far I haven’t shot off anything bright enough… so iI’ll continue writing, and continue trying.
Contact Info:
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jjho8/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/justinjohnho
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jho16b1/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/minormotionpicture
- Other: https://vimeo.com/justinjohnho
Image Credits
Lee Washington
