We recently connected with Stephanie Gomez and have shared our conversation below.
Stephanie, so good to have you with us today. We’ve always been impressed with folks who have a very clear sense of purpose and so maybe we can jump right in and talk about how you found your purpose?
If I attempted to answer this question a decade ago, my purpose would be pretty similar, but how I led to it would be so different. As a young woman, in my early 20’s operating from a place of hurt and fear, my purpose felt muddled and unclear, grounded in ego and pursuit of feeling “power”.
Now, as a woman in my late 30’s, having gone through therapy, deep reflection, and a trauma-informed group coaching program, I can answer from a place of clarity and peace.
I found my purpose by failing….failing miserably.
To some degree, I think I’ve always known that my purpose was to be in spaces that center women, particularly Latinas. Then and now, I’ve equated purpose with joy. And it’s been in those spaces, women-centered, that I have felt the strongest degree of joy. So chasing that feeling as somewhat of a NorthStar, I founded an organization for Latinas during my undergraduate experience. I was also responsible for a large part of it’s demise. Anytime we lose something we love, it hurts. But when you have to look in the mirror and know YOU played a huge part in why it was lost in the first place, the hurt carries differently. For years I tried to rebuild what was lost, trying to start it up again and never taking flight.
I didn’t know it then, but there was still so much internal work that had to be done before I could go back to my purpose.
The first step was therapy. I had to learn why I behaved the way I did. And in those weekly sessions, I became acquainted with the young woman (inner self) who lived in fear of abandonment. The one who, in an attempt to protect herself, wanted to control everyone. I became her friend. I listened to her fears, I held her in those fears, & I learned ways to cope when those feelings would bubble up. This work allowed me to begin the process of loving myself through all those f*ck ups. It still didn’t prepare me for my purpose. I had a child, got married, began my professional career but still felt this giant hole in my spirit. And I knew it was because I wasn’t living my purpose.
In 2020, amidst the loss and confusion of COVID, I participated in a group coaching program called the “Thriving Chingona Sabbatical”. This was my first time doing something like this and I wasn’t exactly sure what to expect. It was a virtual community and the women that made part of it were all over the country, in different stages of their “purpose-hood”. I came in knowing what my purpose was but feeling like it carried a dark cloud given my contribution to its demise. It was through this program that I told the story for the first time. I sobbed, I was embarrassed, but I was held. I was held with love as I shared one of the ugliest versions of myself. And I learned a new dimension of my fear. I learned that my fear was just trying to protect me. It didn’t want me to feel the shame and guilt again, so it paralyzed me. The modules in the Thriving Chingona Sabbatical helped me move through those blocks. They taught me I could honor the fear, see her, and then tell her it would be okay. I could see her with gratitude for the protection she wanted to offer me, and I could say this time it would be okay. I learned to trust myself again. I began to see the woman I am now and trust her with all of my dreams and purpose.
Now I was ready. I founded Rise and Thrive Latinas (RTL) in the Fall of 2021 with the overwhelming desire to be in community with other Latinas. RTL is not just a small business, it’s my purpose in living form. We curate events for Latinas to connect and build community, but even more so, we’re carving out space for women to put themselves first for an hour or two, and come into a space where we are seen and heard. It’s been an honor and a pleasure to serve in this way and to be able to live out a vision I’ve carried in my heart for as long as I could remember. I’m so proud of RTL and so proud of the woman I’ve become in the process.
Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?
I have the privilege of holding space for women via Rise and Thrive Latinas. Rise and Thrive Latinas is a convener and curator of experiences for Latinas to connect, build community and work towards collective healing. I believe we all have the need to feel seen and heard and that’s what Rise and Thrive Latinas strives to do. Our goal is to make everyone who walks in feel welcomed and seen. We want the space to feel like “taking the weight off your shoulders”; a place where you can come in feeling the heaviness of the week, month, or season, and leave feeling a little lighter. We do this by fully seeing and hearing you. Whether it’s the psychological space we hold before getting into a book discussion, or the hype up once you share exciting news, we want to see you in all your magical glory.
We hold monthly book clubs where we discuss Latina-authored books. The readings are really a vehicle for deeper conversations that provide a degree of healing. Via the books, we are unpacking themes like familial dynamics, mother/daughter relationships, our relationship with pleasure and sexuality, motherhood, our first menstrual cycle, and so much more! It becomes about creating this sacred space that so many of us that are craving and NEEDING, but is so hard to find the older we become.
Our work is about giving ourselves, Latinas, permission to put ourselves first and pour into that which brings us joy!
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
I would say the three more impactful qualities, or areas of knowledge have been: maintaining authenticity, not chasing perfection, and receiving help. When most of your external image lives on social media, it can be easy to fall into this trap of performing. One of the qualities I’ve been holding to the tightest, has been maintaining my authenticity. I recognize the value I bring into the space, but I don’t want to pretend to have things figured out. I don’t want to give into any kind of pressure to perform as someone in my role “should”. This has been really big for me, especially as I meet new people and folks ask about RTL and my vision for it. I’ve been so honest about the process and honest about where it is in its evolution. For some, it may sound as though I don’t know what I’m doing (and in ‘business terms’, they may be right), but in my spirit it feels completely aligned. I am owning the truth of my process and that helps me maintain my authenticity. In that same vein, not chasing perfection. I’m just getting started, but I’ve noticed that it’s not necessarily just about the group that has the “best graphics”, or the “best brand identity”, it’s about consistency. Chasing perfection and feeling like it has to be perfect before it starts or before it moves onto it’s next phase, may just get in your way of being consistent. And in my experience, consistency has proved to be more worthwhile. And lastly, receiving help. For those of us who are used to doing everything ourselves, the idea that others want to water this vision, want to pour into YOU, can feel overwhelming. Let others help you. They see something in you and they see something in what you’re building. You deserve help.
Thanks so much for sharing all these insights with us today. Before we go, is there a book that’s played in important role in your development?
I love this question because we have an amazing book club so I’ve been able to read great works by Latina authors. I would say one of the books that has been key in my development is Christine Gutierrez’s “I Am Diosa: A Journey to Healing Deep, Loving Yourself, and Coming Back Home to Soul”.
One of the aspects I really love about this book is the way there are rituals connected to each chapter. Not only is Christine helping us move to and point out some deep rooted feelings, she’s also providing ways for us to actively engage with those feelings. There are so many valuable nuggets of wisdom. One is a mantra I really held to around forgiveness. It reads: “I did something I’m not proud of or that I don’t like. It isn’t what I wanted for myself. I give myself permission to come back home to self, to come back to the parts of me I know I want to cultivate, because they are the parts that will lead me to my north-star soul goals and to wholeness”.
She also writes about letting ourselves thrive. There is one particular quote I love: “Life is not about mere survival. It’s about allowing ourselves to rest in the safety of spirit and learning to trust that we deserve ease, love, abundance, and flow- just as the universe has always intended for us.”
Contact Info:
- Website: www.riseandthrivelatinas.com
- Instagram: @riseandthrivelatinas
Image Credits
Jenny Alvarez (IG: @shotbyjenny)
