We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Tina Porter. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Tina below.
Hi Tina , appreciate you sitting with us today to share your wisdom with our readers. So, let’s start with resilience – where do you get your resilience from?
1. Being resilient means learning how to survive and when you’re a child and your Mom leaves your Dad for a woman you become exactly that, a survivor. I mean this was way back in the early 80’s when being gay wasn’t cool. They were pioneers and while they were ready to be ‘out’, I as a child was mortified and didn’t think my friends would be ready and assumed they’d find it shocking. So for all those years, I played it off like they were roommates and friends and kept my family secret quiet.
We moved far from my 3 older sisters who lived in a fancy home with a sauna and a microwave. They were close to school and the town; could be with their friends and have jobs, participate in after school sports and theatre while I rode a school bus over an hour each way. I know that sounds like ‘woah is me’ and well, it kind of is, but it’s my truth. You’re asking how I got to be resilient? Well, this is one way for sure! I mean after school social interactions were not an option for me and that’s a big part of being a teenager is being socially involved!
The house I lived in was a log cabin. We didn’t have central heat or a shower, but we did have a wood burning stove and a clawfoot bathtub that we’d dump ourselves upside down in at the faucet to wash our hair. As a kid, you just roll with it. I actually felt lucky that I got to be with two moms. They were fun, creative and social with their friends.
Friends now are very important to me, they’ve become my family. Because I didn’t have that from age 9-16 and needed to find ways roll solo. Unfortunately I have a tendency to experience FOMO quite a bit (even now) because of that stage in my life. I missed out on my sisters who were always together and my friends in town. I often need to tap back into that feeling of gratitude for my independence to nip FOMO in the butt. I didn’t want to say ‘nip it in the bud’ which is the correct expression, but it means so the flower won’t blossom or grow-which is quite the opposite of how I’ve worked to overcome the feelings of inadequacy, losing or missing out.
2. Living overseas from age 16-19 definitely grew me in many ways. Whether you were sent away because you were troubled or a scholar seeking higher education, we were roomates in dorms and partied with locals and students from all over the world. Living over there as a teen, I took many risks that made great stories! No cell phones or email, just pay phones and collect calls hoping someone would answer and accept the charges. I loved every second of living and traveling over there and yes, the risks? Lets just say if my son did those things today, I’d cringe and smile simultaneously. I want him to have those wild experiences, but I’m not sure I’d want to know about them while they were happening, ya know?!
3. Yoga has also contributed to my resilience. 1992 was the beginning of this journey and in many ways I feel was the beginning of Tina. I learned new ways to listen, feel and heal on the mat. It became a true practice shortly thereafter when I took the yoga off my mat and applied it to my life: relationships, jobs, confrontations, self-esteem. I took the stamina, endurance and discipline off the mat and practiced it everywhere else. Pranayama (breath work), connected me to my soul and I dropped into my Self in a way that I’d never felt before. The importance of my life and with whom I shared my time became important and intuitive.
I raised my kids with Yogic philosophy, principles and techniques. Teaching them mindfulness and awareness, sensitivity and compassion. That you don’t just “not like” someone, but to see the layers of that person and recognize they may have something that you want; whether it’s material or ethereal. They may have a pair shoes that you’ve wanted or a sense of confidence or strength that you wish you had. But to never ever judge anyone because you have no idea what’s happening in their heads, their hearts or their homes and to just be kind to everyone, no matter what. A great example of this is:
There was a day that my youngest, Brody was bullied. He ran home and told me. I asked if he stood up for himself. The kid had shoved him and I asked if he shoved him back? He told me, “Mom, NO! Last week I saw that kid’s Dad shove him into his car!” And there it was, all the lessons of awareness and compassion alive and well in my son and I felt proud that in that moment he was able to see the kid’s actions clearly, not take them personally and to step away instead of retaliate and continue feeding that vicious circle of mistreatment.
And so you have it. From my resilience to my kids, to their friends who pay attention and we continue to pay it forward.
Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?
Thank you for asking. Yes, I have two projects in the works for 2024, My Mindful Life Cleanse Online Program and the book that I’m writing.
My Mom in the 80’s drove around with a giant magnet on the car that read, Lose weight now, Ask me how- HERBALIFE
We were living in a world where Diet Coke was said to negate the caloric intake of a Big Mac and fries. I stole Dexatrim and fainted in 7th grade. Diets were all elimination and deprivation. They were a drag, never sustainable and never-ending.
Yoga was like magic fairy dust. It helped strengthen and tone my physical body while resetting my ability to appreciate myself no matter my weight, bad skin or hair. Every time I connected my breath to my movement, it was guaranteed that I’d feel beautiful. So in 2005 I put together The Post-Holiday Detox Cleanse in an effort to lose some weight that I’d gained due to an incomplete pregnancy.
It was a 2 week yoga program that I offered at a local gym and much to my surprise, all kinds of people were registering and not just for weight loss! But they were signing up for self-development, realization, a mental reset, deep desires to connect, change their ways and more! Afterwards, I offered a survey and every one of them wanted it to be 3-4 weeks. It was an incredible success so I’ve offered it at the top of each year. The end-of-the-cleanse survey helped me collect data to meet the needs of everyone who participates.
In 2016 I got certified in Yoga Psychology. Now integrated into this program, it’s become a deep dive into ourselves and now called The Mindful Life Cleanse. We learn about our behaviors, relationships, habits and patterns with food & nutrition yes. Plus we look at our vices (alcohol, anger, envy, greed etc..) and how our choices of consumption either contribute to peace or pain. We learn to pause and think before we act and that in itself is a game-changer for many.
After 16 years, with the help of hundreds of participants, I have streamlined this program into a 28 day journey through your mental, emotional and physical bodies. It’s an in-depth look into yourself. An opportunity to sift out old habits making room for a healthier version of you. And a gift of time to start living the life you’ve been seeking.
This program has become my way of life and has presented me with confidence, courage and authenticity. I know from my world of insecurity and FOMO that how I feel comes from what I consume. Not just food or drinks but everything we choose has either a positive or negative impact and we train in healthy decision-making.
16 years this was only ever offered at New Years until now…THE MINDFUL LIFE CLEANSE ONLINE PROGRAM !!
You can do it at your own pace, whenever you want and however many times you desire feeling the best version of yourself. Coming Spring 2024, exclusively to those on my mailing list (sign up now at www.tinaporteryoga.com).
Looking back, What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
I’ve been on many ‘journeys’ in my life that have led me to where I am today. But, the most recent and significant one was losing my teenage son, Brody.
Covid-19 shut down the world and my family of four was psyched. We loved being together, like genuinely liked each other’s company. So much so that I even made a Covid-19 photo book. We spent that time playing; taught our oldest son, Griffin to be a mocktail bartender, we had cooking contests, back country skied in the mountains, played games etc.. It was like the best version of Spring Break at home and we loved it.
Then on June 24th, 2020 out of nowhere, Brody was diagnosed with a brain tumor. My husband, Jeff and I were told that it was “a rare and aggressive tumor known as the worst of the worst” and that he had 6-9 months to live.
My reaction to that news with a numb body, but a clear mind, I stood from that chair literally rolling up my sleeves saying, “Nope. You don’t know us, we’ve got this.”
And our journey began..
#1 Clean eating so that sugars or processed foods wouldn’t cloud our minds or cause pain
#2 No alcohol- I wanted us to be as clear and present as possible for Brody and each other
And so it was:
6 weeks of radiation
Weekly Reiki
Tibetan Cranial therapy
A saltwater pool to soak in after radiation treatments
A Lakota healing ceremony with a shaman from Nebraska
A trial called the Optune cap to try and slow tumor growth
An oral chemotherapy (even though they said it wouldn’t work)
He got into a clinical trial in Seattle so we flew there to get him prepped for it.
And 8 days before he was supposed to start that trial, he died.
The 3 of us were with him.
Holding him.
Loving him.
This loss for the 3 of us has been colossal and until now, my life has been stagnant, just trying my hardest to exist.
When the calendar rolled into 2024, I made a conscious decision to climb out from underneath the weight of Grief. Knowing that it’ll be by my side for the rest of my life, I realized that it’s had a strong hold on me and that there has to be some kind of medicine in this wound.
During Brody’s journey when I was posting the highlights, low lights, requests for prayers and energy, it was suggested to me many times that I needed to write a book.
And so I did.
The book is written and will be published, I hope this year.
Brody’s name and Foundation will become the talk of Book Clubs around the world and together we’re going to raise awareness and funds to donate to the scientists working tirelessly on a cure so that no other family has to suffer like we have.
For anyone starting a tough journey, my advice to you is to be as present and clear as possible. Whether that comes from your diet, morning rituals or faith. Be grounded in your body so you can be kind to everyone no matter what news they deliver. Be kind to those who care for you no matter how scared you get. Be kind to those who drive near you, no matter the hurry you’re in. Be kind to those behind and those in front no matter how tired or sick or in pain you are. No matter the circumstance, you’ll be the strongest, smartest and bravest in the room just by being kind.
Awesome, really appreciate you opening up with us today and before we close maybe you can share a book recommendation with us. Has there been a book that’s been impactful in your growth and development?
Professionally: Elizabeth Gilbert’s, Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear and Jen Sincero’s, You’re a Badass Money Maker
Personally in my present state of grief: Steve Leder’s, More Beautiful than Before, Joan Didion’s, The Year of Magical Thinking and Katherine May’s, Wintering
Contact Info:
- Website: tinaporteryoga.com
- Instagram: tina porter yoga
- Facebook: Tina Aisner Porter
- Linkedin: Tina Porter
Image Credits
Kelly Shroads Photography
