We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Erica Bryant a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Erica, so great to have you with us and we want to jump right into a really important question. In recent years, it’s become so clear that we’re living through a time where so many folks are lacking self-confidence and self-esteem. So, we’d love to hear about your journey and how you developed your self-confidence and self-esteem.
I was raised by my great-grandparents, and one thing they never did was make me feel that there was something I couldn’t do goal wise. I went through life with the conviction that I could achieve anything I put my mind to. When I was younger, I had a naturally reserved demeanor, but I have always been a person who had strong convictions and opinions. Upon reaching elementary school, I decided that I wanted to assert myself more boldly and would not allow anything to hinder this. Transitioning into adolescence, I was driven by a myriad of aspirations, and my confidence was unshakable. I desired to become our high school’s drum major, and through persistent practice, I achieved that goal. I was passionate about speech and debate, and the drive to compete led me to ultimately succeed as a state finisher. As a youth, the recipe for success was logical. You want something, you work hard, you obtain it, and if you don’t obtain it the first time, you persist. Not achieving my goals was never even a consideration. When I entered college and early adulthood, it became apparent that not everyone had good intentions for me or saw my goals as strongly as I did. There were people in my life who questioned me and seemed determined to impede my progress and denigrate my efforts. There were people who called me “cocky” for being unwavering in my goals and having such high self-esteem, while others sought to challenge me for simply being myself. It frustrated me that there were people out there who would not lend me their support, even when the support was of no cost to them and of minimal effort. Through my frustrations, I learned to continue to be my authentic self, and acknowledge that not everyone will be on your side or wants the best for you, and that is ok. You don’t always know the struggles of someone else. Not everyone understands your purpose, but that is why God’s vision for your life is entrusted to you, and not them. The true measure of confidence is not in seeking the approval of others but being content despite it. Some ways I have protected and enriched my self-esteem and self-confidence are the following:
1. Being assertive – I believe in addressing issues directly. The word confrontation has a negative connotation, but it does not have to be. Positive confrontation is expressing your point in a respectful way and is a great way to communicate your feelings. Sharing your perspective in a respectful manner can help you to communicate better with others, avoid misunderstandings, and build trust. It can also help you to learn from different viewpoints, broaden your horizons, and grow as a person. I prefer to voice my opinions when something upsets me or when I witness injustice. This helps me to deal with conflicts in my relationships. It gives me confidence to stand up for myself. By speaking up for myself, I empower myself to make positive changes in my life and in the world. I also show respect for myself and others and inspire others to do the same. I don’t jump to conclusions about how others perceive me. If it concerns me enough, I approach that person to get clarity and resolve any issues. If it doesn’t bother me enough, I let it go. Overall, I realize that I can’t control how others feel about me and can only control my own thoughts and actions.
2. Avoiding self-comparison – There is no one in the world like me! There is someone who may be able to do what I do, but they don’t do it like me. I am unique and irreplaceable. God has given each of us a purpose, and it is a waste of time and energy to be distracted by what others are doing instead of focusing on my own goals. Comparison is the thief of joy. When someone I see achieves something that I desire to achieve, it leads to me feeling motivated. It shows me that it is possible, and that it is attainable. I can also benefit from their experience or use their achievements to begin my own success in that area. Instead of competing and comparing, we should be collaborating.
3. Resist the negative – The way you talk to yourself matters. You are your own constant companion, and you should treat and speak to yourself as you would a dear friend. We tend to be more critical and harsher towards ourselves than we would ever be to others. We say things to ourselves that we would never even consider saying to another person. Our inner voice influences our mood, and our mood influences our behaviors. If we continue to speak negatively to ourselves, how do we expect to have a positive impact?
4. Step outside your comfort zone – Most of my accomplishments came from venturing beyond my comfort zone. Not every attempt has been successful. But every effort has taught me something. It is a wonderful feeling to do something that seemed impossible and realize that you can do it. You uncover your abilities, gain knowledge, and develop yourself.
5. Surround yourself with supportive people – Don’t believe anyone who says you can do everything by yourself. We need support, and if you can, choose to be with people who are positive and not just agreeable, but also encourage you to pursue your goals, excel, express yourself, and recover from setbacks. Be around those who are not afraid to tell you that you are wrong. Seek out people who can hear you out without judging or blaming you. We all make mistakes, and it is important to be around those who will extend grace to others. Also, there are people out there who are in secret competition with you. Be careful of those people and make sure that when you are seeking out guidance from others, that they have good motives. There are people who will talk you out of their dreams, just because they cannot see it for themselves. Don’t confide in those people.
Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?
I am Erica Bryant, a licensed psychotherapist employed by one of the top 25 managed care organizations in the nation. My commitment to community activism and service has earned me the honor of the prestigious President’s Lifetime Achievement Award. I’ve been fortunate to receive numerous awards for my involvement in community service, activism, mentorship, scholarly pursuits, and other areas. Throughout my career, I have been blessed to engage in implementing change across various domains, including integrated care, learning, literacy, foster care, mental and maternal health, and health equity. As a recognized and sought after subject matter expert in chronic pain management, I actively contribute to the advancement of healthcare through providing critical resolutions. I have been named as a top innovator in the field of healthcare solutions. I am filled with enthusiasm as I stride purposefully through life, driven by a deep desire to create positive change in the world. My involvement spans diverse domains, including entrepreneurship, pageantry, fashion, research, and mental health advocacy.
As a pageant queen, I proudly hold numerous titles at local, state, national, and international levels. I have been recognized through the pageant systems for my leadership, fashion sense, scholarship, and career achievement. I credit God with guiding my path and providing me a strong support system and encouragers.
God is the foundation of my life, and I have a supportive church home. I enjoy attending church and am active in the church choir.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
In my journey, three pivotal aspects have shaped my course: trust in God, continue to have resilience, and silence the naysayers. As I engaged in heartfelt conversations with God and surrendered to His guidance, I witnessed doors opening—precisely the right ones.
I firmly believe in timing. What God has for you will always be for you, and what is meant for you will never pass you by. You don’t have to undercut anyone to get it. I have heard, “If you stay ready, you won’t have to get ready.” So, remain prepared. Hone your craft, uplift others, and when your moment arrives, you’ll break down barriers and shatter limitations. I find myself looking back to the days when I wished I had what I had today and could not see myself where I am now. God will make a way.
What has been your biggest area of growth or improvement in the past 12 months?
One of the most important ways I have grown in the last year is to appreciate life more and be more intentional. I have always had a busy and active lifestyle. Because there is so much I want to accomplish, and so many places I want to be at once, I would “rip and run” (as my elders would say). I have learned to slow down in life and be more selective with what I commit to, and what matters most to me. Slowing down allows me to really fully enjoy life and enjoy being in the moment. I have made time to journal and pray more about decisions or how I feel. I have learned to avoid being rash with my decisions, but instead to carefully consider if they will enhance my well-being. I value having peace and will say “no” to anything that will disrupt my peace.
Contact Info:
- Instagram: erica_antoinette8
