We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Taryn Starr a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Taryn, thank you so much for opening up with us about some important, but sometimes personal topics. One that really matters to us is overcoming Imposter Syndrome because we’ve seen how so many people are held back in life because of this and so we’d really appreciate hearing about how you overcame Imposter Syndrome.
I still see it crystal clear in front of me.
You are the voice of Texas now. Will you be the director to lead the launch of Texas for our organization?
I was stunned.
If you were to look at my resume, you would need to read between the lines to find out that I was a leader. In my professional life, I had never been “paid to lead” in any specific position before. Anything I led had always been volunteer, and I never received feedback, either positive or negative. So in reality, I didn’t even know if I was good at leading.
Imposter syndrome? Definately. Who was I to lead? Did I have what it took? What does a leader even do?
These questions caused me to doubt myself tremendously. Here is how I overcame them to become the leader I am today.
If you are dealing with similar questions, first of all, take a deep breath. You are not alone.
1. Shift Your Perspective
One of the most helpful things for me was to go back in my mind and rethink my experiences. I looked at my past in a new light. Instead of a searching glance looking for the “supervisor” position I didn’t have, I began looking at what experience I do have.
Before long, I gathered a long list of leadership “wins” for myself. Look! I told myself, ” I led that project and it created great results!” or “My college peers/teacher/manager have said I have natural communication skills! That helps leaders a lot”. If you are doing this for yourself, try to think outside the box. Maybe you don’t have that “supervisor” position, but you may have mentored a group of 15 students in high school. That says a lot about your leadership!
2. Ask for Encouragement from Healthy Leaders
This is definitely easier said than done. However, if you have leaders in your life that you know are healthy, ask specifically for encouragement. I remember sending out a completely out of the blue meeting request to a leader in my organization who I had seen speak but had not met personally. She accepted my meeting invite, and I took a bit of time to give her some context as to why I was calling her.
“Oh, of course they asked you to lead.” She told me. “What?” I thought, “No way!”
“If I am reading you correctly, I would say one of your strengths is vision. It sounds like this organization needs you to paint a vision for them!”
To be honest, I had taken Strengthsfinders but completely forgot that it was on my profile so this manager could see it.
What she saw that I had forgotten was this, my number one strength is called “Futuristic”, in other words, the ability to see future potential and help others see it as well. Now, you may not have something like this in your “personality back pocket” but I promise you, there is some strength that you can lean on to grow your ability to lead.
3. Know that You Can Grow
No matter where you are today, you can be different tomorrow.
That principle keeps us moving forward, hoping. Hope is the one light that will always win out in the end. Don’t lose your hope. Move forward. Keep growing. You may just have a seed of leadership in you right now, but given the sunlight and water you need, it will grow.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
I am in the middle of a few exciting developments!
Stay tuned, I will be announcing my speaking engagements beginning May 2024.
Follow my updates on Insta: @tarynstarr.pianist, and LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/taryn-enos-969401209/
Later this month we will be officially launching the Texas Branch of: She Leads America: Texas!
Our inaugural launch will be located at:
LuzArt Gallery Dallas, 1640 Irving Blvd, Dallas, TX 75207-6914
February 27th, 5:30pm – 7:30pm CST
All women interested in leadership or needing encouragement are welcome (spouses are also welcome)!
You will find my current writing at: https://tarynstarr.com/piano/, and current Advisory work at: https://zs.uccs.edu/taryn-starr.html .
Learn more about She Leads America: https://sheleadsamerica.com/
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
My number one most important skill is communication. 1000% However, I will also break it down into three specific pieces.
1. Public Speaking and Oration
At the ripe old age of 7, I gave my first speech in front of a live audience. This was the first speech in a long journey that eventually took me around the USA speaking in front of literally hundreds of audiences. All before the age of 18.
I know. Crazy.
My amazing parents supported my siblings and me through extensive speech, theatre, and debate coaching and competition all from middle school through graduation. For all of us, this skill has added to our adult lives tremendously. For me, it gave me my career and highest passion, speaking to women to help them become who they dream they can be.
It was not until recently that I learned about the 10,000-hour rule. After looking back on my work from a young age in public speaking, I realized that it would not be a stretch to say I got 10,000 hours of speaking time. That may sound like a lot, but when you begin at 7 years old and give a speech every day until high school graduation, you get a lot of hours.
2. Negotiation (in and outside of work)
Negotiation was a skill I did not realize I had for a long time.
All those hours of debating had wired my brain to think through every possible angle of most problems. As a result, negotiating and seeing problems from another person’s perspective is incredibly easy for me.
However, putting a skill like “negotiation” into work takes a bit of effort. The first time I used it was with roommates. Imagine four girls, all with extremely different backgrounds, cultures, and values living together. That was my college dorm room.
To say I used a little negotiation would be putting it mildly. We were constantly rethinking how to discuss problems, connect, clean, argue, and just deal with each other.
If you are a woman and you have walked through these types of roommate issues, you will understand. In addition, believe me, you have some negotiation skills if you are able to make that work!
3. Empathy
Empathy is a mixture of knowledge and skill.
It starts as head knowledge, “Oh, this person is going through x”
To become empathetic there needs to be an emotionally mature response. i.e. “My friend is going through x, and they feel horrible. I can tell based on their (facial expression, body language, etc) I know they usually need some alone time and care to recoup, so I will do y, (get them a coffee, ask if they need to talk, need some space, etc) to show them that I care for them and I see them.
One of the most incredible things about Women who are leaders is they tend to lean into empathy. This is a wonderful thing, and is needed in an environment that rewards sacrificing your life, family, and balance to be successful.
Okay, so before we go we always love to ask if you are looking for folks to partner or collaborate with?
I am always looking for people to partner with to hear their stories and help them succeed.
The people I love are leaders with passion, vision, and a message to tell. In early spring, I will be launching a podcast to hear the stories of Women in leadership who have done great things but never necessarily had a platform. Giving women their voices back is a huge passion of mine.
I love opportunities to hear even visions that others have told you are impossible or could never work. Small businesses that need to clarify their vision, message, and branding are my favorites.
If this sounds like you, reach out to me at [email protected].
Let me know your name, and what collaboration would add the most value to you (podcast, video, writing, or business consulting). If you are in Texas, let me know! I am based in the DFW area.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://zs.uccs.edu/taryn-starr.html
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tarynstarr.pianist/
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/taryn-enos-969401209/
- Other: https://tarynstarr.com/piano/ https://sheleadsamerica.com/
Image Credits
@terrycostateenboard and @danielverona
