We were lucky to catch up with Paulina Simone Quisol recently and have shared our conversation below.
Paulina Simone, we’re thrilled to have you sharing your thoughts and lessons with our community. So, for folks who are at a stage in their life or career where they are trying to be more resilient, can you share where you get your resilience from?
Thank you for taking the time to read my story! Let me begin by saying that my past, though tumultuous, shaped me into the tenacious and loving person that I am today. For that, I’m so grateful. I’ve condensed my story as best as I can.
My resilience began during childhood, navigating life as a toddler in an abusive household with my brother and sisters. They were older than me and had a different father than I did. They spent a lot of time with their dad, but experienced the abuse in our home as well when they were around. I remember feeling sad that they had a normal father, and I didn’t.
My parents divorced when I was 6, for the better. Over the years, my mom raised me while battling her own addictions and depression following their abusive marriage. I was healing as well, so my mom and I spent a lot of time trauma bonding. It wasn’t healthy, but it was calming to know that we could relate to each other in that way. It was during this time that I guess you could say I realized I had developed an unhealthy hatred for my father for what he had done to me, and to my mom.
Fast forward to January, 2008. I was 16 years old and living a fairly normal life, as normal as any single parent household could be. Years ago, my mom and dad practiced real estate together, so we lived in one of the houses they owned. It was on Pitty Pat ct. Our mom was (very) lenient, I had freedoms that most of my friends didn’t. That wasn’t always a good thing though, our house had become somewhat of a run-down “party house” over the years, I made some good memories with friends during these years, though. Music and art were my true passions and means of expression. They were my escape. I was doing well, for the most part. This is when I experienced divine intervention for the first time, even if I didn’t know it yet.
One morning, I found my mom in a state no one should have to see their parent in, I knew something was very wrong. I’ll spare you the gruesome details. She had suffered a ruptured brain aneurysm in her bed in the middle of the night, something no one expected her to recover from, not even the EMT’s. I was distraught, confused, and terrified of what my future would hold without my mom. She was put into the ICU with little chance of surviving the necessary procedure and brain surgery. The doctor was realistic with me. He told me that 60% of people this happens to die immediately, and the other 40% die on the operating table.
Up to this point, I’d gone through so many traumatic chapters as a kid that I was just numb. My thoughts were racing while waiting for the doctor to come back with the verdict. I realized that my dad would legally have to care for me, since I was only 16. I couldn’t let that happen.. so I didn’t go out of my way to tell him what had happened to mom. He was remarried by this time, and had his own life. I wanted nothing to do with it.
Our mom miraculously survived the surgery, and for the following two weeks I stayed at home alone and went to school every morning like usual. I kept the news from just about everyone, I was afraid they would send me to my dad’s house. I visited her in the ICU every chance I got. One day during class, I was called in to the front office. I saw my dad and my stepmom walking down the hall toward me like in some dramatic movie scene. My heart sank and I realized what was happening.
For the next two years, I lived with them on the other side of town, far away from my friends. My friends were all I had at this point, and I needed them. I wasn’t allowed the same freedoms that I was with my mom. I was hardly allowed to see any friends, or do much of anything. I felt like a caged animal.
In all, our mom spent 55 days in the ICU. She was eventually released, and during those two years she was living in her hometown of Nashville, Tennessee with my uncle. She wasn’t the same after the incident, she could hardly hold a conversation due to the memory loss and confusion following such a critical brain injury. One thing she didn’t lose though, was her stubborn nature. She thought she was just fine despite everything. It was almost comical. She didn’t believe that anything was wrong despite coming so close to death. One day, out of the blue, she decided that she didn’t like living in Nashville anymore and had expressed to an old friend that she wanted to leave. She had him pick her up from Tennessee and bring her back home to North Carolina to the same house on Pitty Pat ct. She wasn’t prepared to live alone, her choice to leave was dangerous and impulsive.
Those two years living with my dad and stepmom were so challenging, I spent the majority of that time locked away in my room with my guitar. One night alone in the car with my dad, he brought up some sensitive topics regarding his and my mom’s failed marriage and I just couldn’t take it. I screamed, I begged him to stop talking. He wouldn’t. I couldn’t escape because we were in the car but I can genuinely say that I wanted to open the door and just fall out. Anything to escape the conversation. As soon as we pulled back up to his house, I jetted from the car in tears and ran to my room..I locked the door, I ripped every poster off the wall. I packed all the clothes I could fit into a laundry basket, waited for them to fall asleep, and had my friend come pick me up in the middle of the night. I was about to turn 18 in two months, so in my eyes I was already an adult even if they didn’t treat me like one. And after finding out that my mom was back home, it was a no brainer. I had to go live with her for my own sanity, and I needed to take care of her.
This is around the time I started praying. I had prayed a little over the years but I was really praying now. The drop to your knees and beg type of praying. I prayed for God to take care of my mom, I prayed that she wouldn’t have to live and heal in that house for the rest of her life. How could I focus on my goals, my college education, or my future while my mom is here in this dreadful house? The same house that had just been vacant for 2 years while she was in Tennessee, and wasn’t kept up with even before then. The home was literally falling apart with something different breaking every week, and my mom didn’t have the capacity to do anything about it. Ridiculous things would happen; I remember coming home from school one day to find that the ceiling in the living room had collapsed..and another time the whole downstairs was full of bees because of a massive hive in the chimney. And of course, my mom couldn’t afford to fix it. So we had to get help wherever we could. I had a friend living there with me, Melton. He needed a place to stay, and my mom needed the money to pay the utilities. So he rented a room out, it worked out for everyone.
Everything was just so challenging, I was so young. My mom was living off of social security disability, it wasn’t enough. I had no idea what to do, I was mentally drained and so tired of feeling helpless. I prayed the same prayer all the time, at some point I just trusted that God heard me and hoped for the best. Other days, I cursed Him. It went back and forth like that. I knew nothing about God but I had no where else to turn. If He’s omnipotent then He must be listening, and He must have heard me, right?
On March 31, 2013 I got a call that would change everything as I knew it. The call was from a frantic Melton and our mutual friend, Nelson. I could barely understand them through the screaming on the other end. “The house is on fire, we got your mom just in time, everything is gone” … I was out with friends at the time, I broke down, was basically thrown into the backseat of my friend’s car and rushed home in a daze. I remember seeing the smoke in the sky from a mile away. It was absolutely unreal. It was just an out of body experience. In shock, at my lowest, I looked up at the fire and could only ask why I was going through this. Why is tragedy all I’ve ever known?
All it took was one small piece of paper to make things crystal clear for me. My mom used to jot Bible verses and pin them on the fridge; the same fridge which was now burnt and unrecognizable. Months later, we were advised to collect anything from the yard before the bulldozing began. In the rubble, we found one of those handwritten verses with the edges barely singed as if it was preserved for us to find that day. It read “Fear not, stand still and see the salvation of the Lord which He will show to you today.” Exodus 14:13. Everything in my world went quiet, it was chilling the way those words sat with me. It’s like the words “today” and “salvation” just jumped off the page. It felt like a direct answer to the prayers I had been crying out over the past 5 years.
It took days to fathom what I was experiencing, did I just experience God? Have I lost it? Still, no one can convince me that I wasn’t meant to find that verse during the darkest part of my life. Yet again, I had experienced divine intervention and this time it comforted me with a peace I had never known before. I was so deeply affected by this that I turned to the Bible to look for more answers and found verses referencing this peace that I had experienced. Philippians 4:7 describes it perfectly. It transcended my understanding.
I thought back to every single time a majorly traumatic event had happened in my life, there was ALWAYS a reason why. The peace of God allowed me to see those events more clearly. They weren’t in vain. Looking back at my life like a timeline, God was always there.
I really don’t mean to make this feel like some sort of religious propaganda. I just know that what I experienced wasn’t of this world. I have to explain the undeniable experience I’ve had with praying, and the miracles that can happen when you have faith. I had blind faith that He would hold my heavy laden heart and allow me to experience a fruitful life. Little did I know, I was only scratching the surface of what God can do.
I would’ve never had to face my feelings of hatred for my dad head-on if my mom hadn’t had the ruptured brain aneurysm. I had to live with him so that I could work through the hatred before it ate me up inside. I wouldn’t have made that choice on my own. Those years of fervent prayer between 2008-2013 were a test of faith and it turns out that God DID hear me after all. That house on Pitty Pat ct., those problems that were so much bigger than me, were reduced to ashes. I didn’t have to worry anymore. Jesus took the burden.
Miraculously, the cause of the housefire was due to old copper wiring and no fault of our own. For that reason, the insurance company paid for the damages and we weren’t burdened financially. With that money, we were able to buy our mom a condo closer to my older siblings and I was able to grow as an adult. I’ve followed my passion for music and have enjoyed the process of putting all of these experiences into songs. Because of these things, I am resilient.
Just as I thought things couldn’t get any better, another prayer was answered. My distrust in men had grown so much since my childhood, I was convinced that all men were violent, creepy, and untrustworthy. I asked God if that was true, I asked him to show me if there was anyone out there that could prove me wrong. In 2022, I married the most amazing man I’ve ever known. He made me believe in love and showed me that God fearing men do exist. Together we have a beautiful daughter and just moved to a new city. We share a passion for music and songwriting. Every day is a blessing.
We can handle whatever comes next knowing that He is with us. I know that we’ll face more trials and we’ll struggle in this lifetime. That’s inevitable..but we aren’t alone in the fire. We’re refined by it.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
Since 2010, I’ve been working with my friend and filmmaker Gavin Davis on creating a documentary film that better illustrates my story. We have footage from before the housefire of 2013, and interviews from the very room where the fire started. He started his company Fossil Films in pursuit of his passion.
In 2010, he was inspired by my drive and tenacity for music despite the trials and tribulation I had faced. Little did we know that life would come barreling in the way it did. He walked alongside me through the rubble and the destruction of the housefire, camera in hand. He captured some of the most raw footage that either of us have ever seen. We’re confident that if executed correctly, this story of triumph will impact many people in need of hope.
This has been an ongoing project, one that has been handled with such care. A few years ago, we just didn’t feel that it was the right time to release it yet, and for good reason. Just last year, my brother told me that he had found a couple of old 8mm tapes, and he thought that I was on one of them singing as a child. Now, to someone who has experienced a housefire and total loss of tangible memories, this felt like another instance of divine intervention. I have VERY little photos of myself as a child, no photo albums, nothing. So these tapes would mean everything to me. After a few failed attempts at finding a camera that would play these old tapes among other obstacles along the way, Gavin and I realized that this was the missing link. The documentary wouldn’t have been the same without this tape. We are so excited to continue piecing together this elaborate story and doing what we do best – creating something beautiful from the pain.
Over the years, my husband and I have been recording our debut album in our little bedroom studio. Where there’s a will, there’s a way. This album will serve as the soundtrack for the upcoming documentary film, and as the soundtrack to my life as corny as that sounds. I’m just so excited for this chapter. It feels like everything is coming to fruition and that those experiences held a higher purpose.
I teach music for a living, and I consider that a blessing. I’ve wanted to make a living from music for as long as I can remember. I’ve had several opportunities over the years to share my music with the world and while living in Charlotte made some nice headway in my career. I was able to work with the Jonas family at their live music restaurant and make it onto Food Network showcasing my voice, and open for some pretty big bands on stage. I spent my time scouting venues, landing residencies in town, and building a name for myself as an artist. These days, it all feels bigger than me. I’m looking forward to seeing how God uses me.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
One, perseverance is key. I teach this on a daily basis, frustration is inevitable. Learning something new isn’t easy, and neither is trying our best and failing. If we want something, we have to be willing to fail. Most times, we’ll fail repeatedly.. but learning to talk yourself out of quitting is a skill that is necessary in every aspect of life. If we can overcome the things that are trying to bring us down and keep pushing, then we’re bound to succeed.
Two, JOURNALING. Journaling or songwriting is one of the best ways to chip away at the pain you’re experiencing. Each time you write it down or speak it aloud, you’ve made yourself a little bit lighter. My mom used to always say “a joy shared is twice the joy, a sorrow shared is half the sorrow.” We can benefit so much from freeing ourselves of the things we keep inside.
Three, optimism and faith. I still suffer from PTSD symptoms relating to my past. I am always reminded that something COULD go wrong, or that the rug could be ripped from underneath me at any moment. It used to be worse, I lived in fear. I’ve turned to the Bible for a lot of these questions I have and the answers were right there for me.
The truth I’ve found is that without leaning on His word through the inevitable suffering, we will have a harder fall and greater experience of the pain.
• Psalms 34:4 says: I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears
• Romans 8:18 says: Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory He will reveal to us later.
Okay, so before we go we always love to ask if you are looking for folks to partner or collaborate with?
We could use some help from creatives to bring this story to light. Gavin is a family man and a father of 5, as of right now it’s just the two of us chasing this goal. We’d love to bring on an experienced editor to assist with the project. In fact, if you feel connected to or inspired by this story in any way and feel that your skillset could be of assistance, please reach out to us with any questions you may have.
Additionally, my husband Daniel and I are recording our debut album with limited resources and high standards. We know that we’ll need to consult a few professionals to get this project where we want it to be. If you’re interested in hearing some of our music and think you could offer some assistance, feel free to reach out.
Contact Info:
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/paulinasimone19
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/paul0ina
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gavindonelledavis?utm_source=share&utm_campaign=share_via&utm_content=profile&utm_medium=ios_app
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@eversolband
- Other: https://www.youtube.com/@danielquisol
Image Credits
1. Catawba Walk Photo Crew 2. Gavin Donelle 3. Gavin Donelle 4. Jess Dailey 5. Jess Dailey 6. Ed Spicer 7. Melanie Lech 8. Melanie Lech 9. Melanie Lech
