We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Nick Berry. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Nick below.
Hi Nick, really happy you were able to join us today and we’re looking forward to sharing your story and insights with our readers. Let’s start with the heart of it all – purpose. How did you find your purpose?
I have always known my purpose here is to be a caretaker and nurturer. I have always been deeply empathic and had a drive for helping others, whether that is people or animals. From the time I was a child, I had a deep passion for helping animals. Some examples include a cat in a cardboard box in front of the grocery store, a dog I found on the side of the road that had been hit by a car, building a DIY incubator for my 7th grade science fair project, and numerous others.
When I was in junior high school, I requested information for the Jaques Cousteau institute for the study of marine biology because I had such a passion for marine life. When my sister had her first daughter when I was in high school, my focus switched to pediatric medicine as a possible career. When I entered my undergraduate studies, my dream career was to become a pediatric plastic surgeon so that I could work with Operation Smile and help children that were born with facial disfigurements.
I feel that along the way, having gotten distracted with enjoying college too much, I missed many signs that were put in my path redirecting me to what I was truly meant for. I think many people feel that our purpose is to DO something, and based on my experience in life, I believe that in addition to that, we are also here to learn from others and enjoy life based on what we feel is right, not what we think is right. After too many years trying to force myself into what I thought was required of me for medical school, going so far as taking the MCAT, I happened up on psychology and soon thereafter changed my major..
I believe that everything that I have experienced in life, setbacks in goals of a career, not having the perfect family upbringing, financial stress being embedded in the fabric of my makeup, some pretty life-altering circumstances, and other life stressors, I have truly come to accept and feel an immense amount of gratitude for each of these opportunities for growth and for modeling and helping other gay men who have experienced similar experiences so that they might not have to experience so many setbacks.
Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?
I provide individual and couples therapy for gay men and work from an attachment theory perspective. I truly love my work with my clients as it allows me to help other gay men who may be experiencing similar challenges that I have encountered. I have been told therapy with me is unlike other therapeutic experiences, as my style helps clients feel as though they are meeting with a friend, while still healing old wounds. I am passionate about working with attachment trauma, grief and loss, as well as acculturation issues within the gay community. I came out late in my 20s and was not really exposed to gay culture until that time. My understanding of myself was dramatically challenged as I navigated through a new world and experiencing being confronted with beliefs that didn’t apply there.
I have recently launched a monthly mental health happy hour on Mondays (Gay Martinis and Mental Health Happy Hour Mondays) at Palihouse on 3rd in West Hollywood where other mental health and wellness professionals join me to discuss topics that are relevant to what gay & queer men are currently experiencing. I wanted to bring these events to spaces where men feel comfortable and can find a sense of community and support in a new way.
I have been working with my friend Bryan Kosarek as the mental health advisor on continuing to develop and expand TheUNitēApp, a social and virtual platform where gay men can gain awareness and insight, as well as connect on mental health and wellness issues. Social events have included happy hours, regular community meetups (most recently a singles mixer), and a network that continues to expand in order to have a sense of community and inclusiveness.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
I believe resilience, compassion, and empathy have all been critical in getting me to where I am today. For those that might be early in their journey, I challenge them to be curious. We are all on our journey and things happen when they are supposed to, but do not sit back and wait for the signs that things need to change. Really be curious about whether you are thriving, what would be different, and who you are surrounding yourself with. I challenge you to take risks and step outside your comfort zone. Really challenge those fears which may be holding you back.
Looking back over the past 12 months or so, what do you think has been your biggest area of improvement or growth?
I have always been someone to stay in relationships and try to make them work. I think the biggest area of growth over the last 12 months has been really getting comfortable being in solitude and loneliness. I think the past 12 months have really challenged me to not seek something out but to allow myself to entertain an opportunity that has been presented to me. Whether this is dating experiences or professional opportunities, I truly believe that being open and willing to explore new situations and experiences has resulted in so much expansion and elevation in consciousness.
Contact Info:
- Website: http://www.thegaymillennialtherapist.com
- Instagram: @thegaymillennialtherapist
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicholas-berry-b5b46a58/
Image Credits
Allen Zaki Bryan Kosarek
