We were lucky to catch up with Kacie Brunette recently and have shared our conversation below.
Kacie , we are so deeply grateful to you for opening up about your journey with mental health in the hops that it can help someone who might be going through something similar. Can you talk to us about your mental health journey and how you overcame or persisted despite any issues? For readers, please note this is not medical advice, we are not doctors, you should always consult professionals for advice and that this is merely one person sharing their story and experience.
In 2006 I gave birth to my second son and later that year was diagnosed with Bipolar2, post-partem depression, and a childhood trauma induced anxiety disorder. This was only the latest in a long line of labels my mental health had earned since my mother came out as a lesbian and my parents split when I was in middle school. Back then, the Texas court system and the counselors my father hired through them liked to blame my depression and worsening mental health on my mothers sexual orientation and not the way our community and society at that time treated her and subsequently her daughters. We faced isolation, assault and verbal abuse at school, and rejection from the support systems we knew before she came out of the closet. However, somewhere along the way my mother had taught my sister and I as little girls how important it is to be yourself and later showed us there were other ways of thinking by sharing books about lesbian mothers and their children or taking us to LGBTQ friendly spiritual spaces and communities as a kind of antidote to the hatred she knew we would face when she came out. She encouraged my spiritual exploration, made space for me to be a tomboy in a frilly dress and my love of nature. While I struggled for years through my teens and early 20’s, deep in my core I had that firm base I built as a child. I just needed to find my way back to that little girl. By 2006 I had been in an abusive relationship since I was 17 and a young pregnant girl just trying to survive by then. During that relationship. I joined my partner in a hard drug addition and years of bad choices I can never take back. By the time I had that second child I had been clean for over a year and thought I was on my way to a future. I had no idea how hard I would have to fight for that future and to escape my past. My son was born in January, by that summer I was in trade school for Professional Dog Grooming and in treatment and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy with a diagnosis of Bipolar2. While I made many more mistakes and relapsed that year, joining that program changed my life. By the next year I was once again clean, separating from my ex, and building a new life. The things I learned in therapy became a guidebook back to the base core my mother and other childhood influences had instilled in me before the world tore me into pieces- people like my student council teachers who showed me the power of community and service to others while building safe spaces for outcasts like myself. After that start, I’ve worked hard to apply the skills I learned in therapy and every subsequent book, podcast, interview, and class I’ve felt would apply to my life with Bipolar2. Since then I married a childhood friend, moved away from the life we grew up in and knew we didn’t want to raise children in, and with his support have worked every day to apply all I’ve learned to build myself a business where I can make my own income and work around my mental health needs as a private dog groomer.
Before I started my business I had worked in a variety of salon and shop settings and saw how many dogs labeled as “aggressive” just had many of the same physical and mental special needs I recognized in myself. Fear and pain can cause anger and bad choices in dogs just as easily as humans and I found myself relating to them in a way that gave me the patience and understanding these dogs needed in a groomer. I now work full time as a private groomer for mostly special needs dogs who can’t handle the typical grooming experience. I also volunteer around my community and in spiritual spaces that fulfill that part of me that found solace in nature and serving those around me who may have also been outcast like myself, When I feel lost and my Bipolar symptoms flare up its that core base of my inner child that keeps guiding me back to applying the mental wellness routines I learned along the way in order to overcome the challenges I face when my anxiety and depression challenge my joy and growth.
Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?
Along side my private dog grooming business for special needs dogs, I have begun sharing my journey and spiritual practices via my storytelling brand called Kacie’s Corner. Just like I saw dogs like myself needing safe spaces and adaptations for a positive grooming experience, I’ve also seen pagan neurodivergent people like myself not feeling like there is a place for them in our community and don’t see a way to participate in their community. Years ago I started volunteering at a local event eventually called the DFW Pagan Unity Fest. I was guided by the feelings of satisfaction and community belonging that I got as a teenager volunteering with my student council and working at my cousins church. I knew for my mental health, I knew I needed to find that same sort of support and satisfaction without the religious and school trauma associated with it. As a practicing solitary pagan witch, I saw volunteering at the Pagan Unity Fest with a prepared script as a way back to that part of me that gave me so much joy as a teen volunteer. Since then, I have joined the Organizing Committee for the festival, also manage a building at the North Texas Irish Festival, and begun teaching my journey from fear to self empowerment. I tell stories of my journey on my blog, podcast, and youtube channel as well as the tips and tricks I’ve learned to adapt the spaces I inhabit to my neurodivergent needs. This may be the way I choose to volunteer for setup at events so I’m not immediately overwhelmed by the crowds once they open and can scout out the quiet spots, or the way I adapt meditations and other spiritual teachings to better fit my mental health needs. I love hearing back from people who attended an event or made it through a spiritual experience they thought was out of reach because of anxiety, sensory issues, or any number of ways our mental health has held us back. This brings me so much joy!
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
First of all, the ability to rad and navigate my way through a library opened up the world to me. My mom took us to the library religiously and allowed me to explore any topic that caught my eye. Being allowed to feed my mind and curiosity in this way has been a kind of inoculation against the hatred and abuse I have faced in my life. Secondly, I have to honor the skills I learned through Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for allowing me to change the patterns of thinking and emotional cycles that would hold me back when my Bipolar symptoms are allowed to go unchecked. Learning to question what and why I’m feeling a certain way and developing new routines based on those answers has allowed me to thrive in ways I never thought possible. Last year I flew on a plane by myself, something I thought my panic attacks and other bipolar symptoms would never allow me to do. I used art and mindfulness and breathing techniques to get me through the high stress flights to Pennsylvania without breaking down and becoming a threat to myself thanks to my bipolar disorder.
This brings me to mindfulness. Learning to stop, slow down and observe my present situation has helped me in my grooming business, spiritual journey, as well as just getting me through a high stress trip to the grocery store. Mindfulness allowed me to observe my grooming clients in a different way than I had been taught and made clear to me the difference between a fear reaction, defensive response, and true aggression. That realization gave birth to my style of dog grooming that is now my full time job. I definitely recommend to anyone on any journey learning to incorporate mindfulness in their own way.
What do you do when you feel overwhelmed? Any advice or strategies?
I love this question because I am the Hulk of being overwhelmed. I’m highly sensitive and am usually over stimulated in some way when outside of my comfort zone, which is pretty much always. For me, its about planning. adapting, distraction, acceptance, and self-soothing. I know I get overwhelmed by sights, sounds, stimulation, and stress. Knowing my stressors and what eases them took years of observation and reflection and journaling helped me process these things. Once I knew what to address, I could do so. Talking to strangers would give me so much anxiety my throat would close up, so when I decided to start volunteering I chose a job where I had a simple script and knew the amount of people would be less overwhelming than later in the day once the event was running. That first volunteer job with the Unity Fest was to help vendors unload and set up- between the physical activity to help me focus and the prepared script to introduce myself to the people I would see all day long at the event. I gave myself safe spaces in their booths by getting to know them while helping them set up. When it’s all too much, I use mindfulness mediations to slow down and break the anxiety cycle being overwhelmed can trigger.
Contact Info:
- Website: welcometokaciescorner.com
- Instagram: @killakc327
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/welcometofacebook
- Youtube: https://youtu.be/lXRj746hKyo?si=6YE0xLcb26WFHCJU
- Other: https://ko-fi.com/kaciescorner
