Meet Bridgit Dengel Gaspard

We were lucky to catch up with Bridgit Dengel Gaspard recently and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Bridgit, thank you so much for making time for us today. Let’s jump right into a question so many in our community are looking for answers to – how to overcome creativity blocks, writer’s block, etc. We’d love to hear your thoughts or any advice you might have.
Creative blocks are incredibly painful, come in all sorts of forms and show up in any of our life arenas: career, relationships, financials, health, creativity or personal growth. Both our bodies and our brains react to stuckness. Here are three kinds:
• We can be blocked about starting something. So we don’t. Procrastination starts as a coping mechanism to avoid fear, overwhelm and other distressing emotions. This triggers a seemingly endless loop of feeling bad which deflates us even more, making it even harder to start.

• Another blockage can arrive when we’ve made some progress and are well on our way. At this point the going gets tougher, the demands get harder. As a result, the need for extra effort to push past our comfort zone and current level of level triggers insecurity. We might start second guessing ourselves, feel fatigued and headachy, become distracted and lose momentum.

• Another place a creative block can halt us is when we are approaching our finish line, after a period of dedicated, effective hard work. This comes when we are 7/8’s of the way to our goal and suddenly find ourselves stalled. Yuck! I call this the Final 8th stuckpoint which may happen because we haven’t given ourselves permission to be victorious, because we don’t realize we are attached to being a struggling contender. It’s being stuck in an old identity and not embracing the new, more powerful identity. We’ll get more into this later. It’s the theme of my book. The Final 8th: Enlist Your Inner Selves To Accomplish Your Goals.

I’ve experienced all of these and there is no one-size-fits-all tool to becoming unblocked. Also, different approaches work at different times in your life. There are two main keys to block-busting: one is to have many tools to choose from and the other key is to use one of them!!!

As a former performer I now realize that many techniques I learned in that trade are 100% applicable to other professions and areas of life. I will share some of my favorite tips.
• When you’re stuck you usually feel immobilized and constricted, so one thing to do is shake it up. Yes, let’s get physical. When I’m stuck I move my body, put on music and dance for a couple of songs, watch a few short clips of something I enjoy, go for a walk, even clean the kitchen. I have 3 tennis ball nearby so I can always juggle badly, which improves my mood. When you briefly engage with something else, it often loosens an idea or at least a willingness to go back to the drawing board.

• Figure out what you have control over and do that part. For example, as a performer I spent too much time ‘waiting to be chosen’ which was demoralizing. So, I turned to writing and performing stand-up comedy, where I had total control over how much I wrote and performed in venues I had access to. Also this activity used my brain in a different way, which catalyzed my energy (and is often an antidote to depression.)

• Another thing I do is ask myself, “OK, no matter what my problem is, more than likely someone else has had it too, and shares about it. So let me look around and see what’s out there that could be helpful.” These days there are so many resources, including many that are absolutely free. Get a book addressing your issue, ask you-know-who (Chat GPT), go on social media, ask a friend or professional for guidance.

• As I did more and more stand-up I started to get a different block: not knowing how to ‘find material.’ This led me to discovering improvisation which changed my life. Was it terrifying? Yes! And I loved it. Another creative block buster anyone can use is embracing improv’s philosophy of ‘yes and…’ In improv, when your scene partner hands you a drink and says, “Cheers, that’s the last of our champagne,” you cannot say, “That’s not champagne.” That stops (blocks) all the action and destroys the flow. And believe me the humor gets instantly sucked out of the room! The rule of the improv game is to say “yes, and…” Then add to the scenario. So, when you’re blocked say to yourself, “I’m blocked… ‘yes, and’ I can do something about it!” Or, “I’m scared… ‘yes, and’ let me find support” You get the idea. This busts the black and white thinking and perfectionism that can cement a block in place.

• Shift your attitude. It’s good to remind yourself that taking any action is good. It leads somewhere. You don’t need to have your next move figured out before you make a move. A hidden gift of the pain of being stuck can motivate you to make necessary life changes While I was performing, I felt stuck in not being able to move to the next professional level, which also led me to feeling stuck emotionally. That discomfort led to me to discovering the philosophy and technique of Voice Dialogue. It’s based on the premise our healthy personality consists of many different selves, often with competing agendas (which are the source of the blocks!) It changed my life. Again. As I became trained in Voice Dialogue and explored and dialogued with my different inner selves or alter egos as well as others, I saw how quickly people resolved their stuckness and moved into deep healing.

Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?
The galvanizing power and creativity that emerges by dialoguing with your different inner selves, also called alter egos or sub-personalities, was so riveting and inspiring that my interest in pursuing acting faded. Without access to all of our sub-personalities we’re cut off from vital parts of ourselves. This robs us of our natural intelligence as well as our sources of energy.

I returned to school, earned my MSW from Columbia University and am in private practice as a creativity coach and consultant, as well as a psychotherapist. My private practice was full of talented, dedicated, hard-working goal-getters (perhaps like you) in different fields. They would get really close to their finish line, shimmering within sight. Yet, despite the nearness of the goal, despite the hard work, despite the access to resources, despite the admirable level of commitment, they would painfully find themselves unable to take the final steps to success. My clients and I were baffled because it did not make logical sense! Suddenly I had this flash. The whole concept of the Final 8th came to me. You think you want your goal with every fiber of your being, but the secret is not all of you wants what you think you want—and for excellent reasons! Internally you’re in a tug-of-war between the parts of you that want the goal, and others that do not. Instead of being angry with your Procrastinator, Perfectionist, Anxious One or any other inner self who seem to be blocking the goal, dialogue with each of them. Be curious. Discover their gifts, sting, wisdom and concerns. The powerful truth is they all have genuinely good reasons for not wanting to go to the next level. When you deal with these concerns directly, you’re able to enlist the alter ego with the precise superpower necessary to get unstuck and accomplish your goals. For many, as the secret and powerful intentions of the alter egos are revealed, the key to unsolved puzzles that have plagued you throughout your life is unlocked.

I love helping people discover wonderful, gifted, essential parts of themselves they were not even aware of. It’s like introducing them to their own secret team of wise counselors, canny advisers and magical sages that reveal buried strengths to break through their impasse and cross the finish line into success and fulfillment. It’s incredibly moving to be part of someone’s journey when they realize that in any given moment, we are much more than we think you are! And certainly we’re larger than any block or stuckness.

To make Voice Dialogue completely accessible I created a free Voice Dialogue Webinar that includes a section for you to facilitate your different inner selves on your own, at your own pace. Over 800 people have already used this asset. I designed it to be used by itself or alongside any other personal growth techniques you’re involved with. Here’s the url: https://www.udemy.com/course/introduction-to-voice-dialogue-with-bridgit-dengel-gaspard/

Also for the first time in several years I am offering a live immersive Level 1&2 Voice Dialogue Facilitation Training in NYC the first two weekends in May 2024. Here is the url with a lot of information: https://myemail.constantcontact.com/NYC-May-In-Person-Voice-Dialogue-Training.html?soid=1132481401333&aid=n8Rugq3-sNU

My book: https://www.newworldlibrary.com/Psychology/THE-FINAL-8TH

My website has a lot of info: https://bridgitdengelgaspard.com/

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
Because I was in many writing and performing classes, I learned how to offer constructive criticism which I now realize is an invaluable skill. Here’s how it works: start with owning that the opinion you’re sharing is your perspective (acknowledging that none of us holds the whole truth.) Begin with what’s good and then offer where you think improvement is needed. Limit your suggestions for improvement to just a few. This helps you be heard, as we cannot take in too much negativity without getting defense and shutting down.

Try things out, whether or not you’re afraid.

Speaking of fear, failure is inevitable so don’t avoid it. Embrace it for the genuine lessons that will come out of it. When researchers ask senior citizens what their regrets are looking back at their life, the vast majority regret what they did NOT do, not what they did do.

Okay, so before we go, is there anyone you’d like to shoutout for the role they’ve played in helping you develop the essential skills or overcome challenges along the way?
My mentors, the Drs. Hal and Sidra Stone, creators of Voice Dialogue opened up a whole universe and nourished seeds in me that had been dormant. I am forever grateful.

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