We recently connected with Taylor Gould and have shared our conversation below.
Taylor , so good to have you with us today. We’ve always been impressed with folks who have a very clear sense of purpose and so maybe we can jump right in and talk about how you found your purpose?
How did you find your purpose?
I think in order to tell you how I found my purpose, I need to give you the whole story on how my purpose found me.
September 2020, I woke up with a tremendous abdominal pain. The pain was something I had never felt before. I remember screaming for my husband to wake up because the pain was so unbearable and I just kept thinking “I’m dying” – but before I get into more detail I should explain that I had been recently diagnosed with PCOS and had gone 6 months without a period. My Doctor had placed me on a few different medications to help regulate my periods, to help with my thyroid and help regulate my hormones – so that night I truly believed that I was dealing with the side effects of the medication. The fever should have been the first sign that my body was trying to tell me something was wrong, but in that moment, I didn’t really pay attention to it. The pain should have been the second sign, but again I didn’t really listen to my body. I just told my husband to give me some pain meds, and an ex-lax and I’ll be fine – I was turning pale, and the pain was intensifying – my husband who works at our local hospital made the quick decision – “You are going to the hospital” – that decision was the best decision he made for me – because if he didn’t I wouldn’t be here today. That morning (3:00am) was the day that changed our lives forever. It was the day I almost died.
My husband rushed me into the ER, I remember the admission process. The OB on call entered my room, after many tests – revealing I was pregnant, but they couldn’t locate the fetus. Initially they assumed the fetus was in my ovary, they soon discovered the fetus was actually in my fallopian tube. Describing the intense pain as my fallopian tube essentially “exploding,” they believed emergency surgery necessary. During COVID restrictions, I was left alone. I remember pleading for my husband’, asking the Doctor “Please can my husband come, he needs to know”. I remember calling him to share the news. His excitement turned to concern as I explained my pregnancy was life-threatening; I had been unknowingly bleeding for days. (the excitement I heard from his voice still brings me to tears.) Convincing the hospital staff to allow my husband in was a challenge, but when they granted him permission, he hugged me tightly. I remember apologizing to him over and over again and he answered with “Why are you apologizing this isn’t your fault” Deep down inside I knew it was – who else could you blame? To me, it was my fault.
I remember feeling angry, scared, and not really sure what was going to be the end result of the surgery – was I going to make it off the surgical bed alive? I remember getting my husband to call his parents and explain to them what was happening – I didn’t want him to be alone if something happened and I needed him to have that support system in place – I wasn’t even thinking about myself in that moment I was thinking about him – this man that I loved since elementary school and I just kept thinking over and over again I was going to leave him alone – They let him in so he can say goodbye, I wasn’t going to make it.
On the surgical bed, I heard my doctor say, “Her HCG levels are too high for it to be a singleton pregnancy.” Panic set in, and my heart sank. Waking up in the recovery room, my doctor checked on me periodically, holding my hand when I asked. Once fully awake, she disclosed that my elevated HCG levels indicated a twin pregnancy—a rare case of Superfetation, where conception occurs after an initial pregnancy. This phenomenon, affecting only 0.03% of women, involved the first pregnancy in my fallopian tube and the second in my uterus. The doctor cautioned us about the viability of the second pregnancy, given the strain on my body. She advised returning to the hospital if excessive bleeding occurred. Tragically, three days later, my husband rushed me back due to abdominal pain and severe bleeding, resulting in a miscarriage. In just four days, I went from the joy of learning I was pregnant to the devastation of an ectopic pregnancy, the loss of a fallopian tube, and ultimately, the miscarriage of our second pregnancy.
This would just be the start of our pregnancy journey, but also the start of my journey with creating GouldWood Meadows. Between 2021 and 2023, I would suffer another ectopic pregnancy (they were able to save my left fallopian tube) and 2 more miscarriages, resulting in 5 pregnancy losses. Including the loss of my biological father and my “adopted” grandmother – a woman who took me in when I needed it the most.
I would later be diagnosed with PTSD due to my experience during my first ectopic pregnancy, which would later result in my struggle with finding a way to cope. Which would later result in my own personal healing journey – From 2021 to 2022 – I formed a business plan. I knew how hard it was for me to heal on my own – and that my horses were one of the only reasons I was still here. I wanted to be able to share their healing power. I wanted to create a safe place for women to come to and heal. A home away from home – healing with the power of horses.
GouldWood Meadows became my baby. It became my reason, my purpose. To be able to use my education and credentials to create this safe haven for other women who have had or haven’t experienced what I had. I just wanted a safe place where no other woman would ever feel alone.
Gouldwood Meadow’s isn’t just a safe haven for women who have suffered a pregnancy, infant, or child loss – it’s a safe haven for those who are seeking an alternative form of healing and validation through their journey.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
I’m a teacher of Energy – And as an Equine Wellness Support Practitioner I am passionate about facilitating a deep connection between individuals and horses. I am dedicated to guiding my clients in becoming attuned to their energy while engaging with these magnificent animals. Horses are integral to our program due to their innate ability to perceive and respond to human body language and emotions. Horses, being highly attuned to human body language and emotions, play a crucial role in our healing journey. I refer to their unique mode of communication as “Sacred Horse Communication,” mirroring the clear, immediate, non-judgmental, and authentic interactions observed in wild horse dynamics.
At GouldWood Meadows, we provide a safe and nurturing space for individuals seeking alternative avenues for healing. Our leading program, Equine Wellness Support, creates personalized 1:1 methods that embodies our personal experiences that we gain through guided interactions with horses. Integrating life coaching, self-love coaching, grief coaching, Reiki, breathwork, meditation, and energy work, we facilitate a comprehensive approach to guide you on your healing journey. In alignment with modern medicine, we embrace holistic practices, fostering a balanced and effective system to support your overall well-being.
Our commitment lies in creating an environment where the healing potential of the human-horse connection is fully explored, allowing individuals to embark on a profound and transformative journey towards self-discovery, healing, and personal growth. Join us in harnessing the therapeutic energy of horses to embark on a meaningful and rejuvenating path towards holistic well-being.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
Looking back and reflecting on my journey after a pregnancy loss and building a business to help women navigate their empowerment and healing journey, I identify three impactful qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge:
Having Empathy, the ability to understand the emotional depth of pregnancy loss and the challenges women face. Empathy plays such a crucial role in connecting with others on a profound level. For those beginning their journey, I recommend actively listening to others’ experiences, seeking to understand their emotions, and embracing a compassionate approach. Empathy lays the foundation for building a meaningful healing and support system.
I don’t want to say that I am an expert in pregnancy loss, because I am constantly learning new things. But being able to have a deep understanding of the physical and emotional aspects of a pregnancy loss along with the knowledge about the healing process has been tremendously invaluable not just for my own personal healing journey but for others as well. Having the experience, equips you to provide accurate information, guidance and support to help others. For those starting their journey, continuous education on pregnancy loss, grief, and holistic healing methods is essential.
I have been able to combine my expertise and education together to create a community. Combing the wisdom of horse medicine, the holistic ethos, and the advancements of modern medical practices, our community strives to provide a nurturing space where individuals can embark on transformative healing journeys. This innovative integration reflects a commitment to holistic well-being, acknowledging the diverse pathways to health and empowerment.
Building a support network is probably one of the most important pieces of advice I could give you. Surround yourself with individuals who understand you as a person. Remember to keep those close to you, those who support you will become your community. Remember that your support community does not have to be just family – they can be friends, neighbors, mentors, and/or peers who can offer guidance, encouragement and shared experiences. Remember you are not alone in this journey.
My second form of advice is education is knowledge. Investing in continuous education will help you stay informed on the latest and most important developments when it comes to pregnancy losses, healing practices and other holistic practices. Always remember that knowledge is a powerful tool that can help build on your experiences as well as the effectiveness of your support.
My third form of advice would be to remember to prioritize self-care. Remember that you are only one person and no one is ever going to take care of you like you can. You have to prioritize self-care, to maintain your physical and emotional well-being. I feel like this combined with education and your support system, can help you remember to celebrate those small wins. Acknowledge and celebrate every single milestone – regardless of size. If you got out of bed that day, celebrate. If you got dressed that morning, celebrate. It’ll always be the small wins that make the most impactful moments in your journey.
What do you do when you feel overwhelmed? Any advice or strategies?
Remember when I mentioned that self-care is important? Even as a practitioner, we have our moments where we have to remember to care for ourselves as well. When I find myself overwhelmed, I turn to combination meditation, holistic practices and equine healing to regain balance. I find taking a moment for meditation helps center my thoughts and brings a sense of calm.
Using holistic practices, including breathing techniques, allow me to reconnect with my body and mind, fostering a harmonious balance. Engaging in equine healing provides a unique form of solace, as the presence of horses and their intuitive nature has a profound impact on my own mental, and emotional well-being. I absoueltly love being able to walk out of my front door and see my horses grazing. If I need to soak in some love, I’m just steps away from them – my connection with these magnificent animals plays a pivotal role in maintaining a positive and balanced state of mind.
I find solace in other activities as well such a reading, or taking a walk through our woods on our property – both allow me to immerse myself in another world, temporarily shifting my focus , allowing me to connect with nature. The combination of these strategies forms a holistic approach to managing overwhelming emotions, while promoting a mental clarity, and nurturing my overall well-being.
My advice for fellow readers, or even fellow practitioners is to always remember self-care – self-care revolves around embracing practices that resonate with your individual needs and foster a sense of harmony. Whether it’s finding solace in the embrace of nature, indulging in a good book, or immersing yourself in the magical healing presence of horses, the key is to prioritize activities that rejuvenate your spirit. Self-care isn’t selfish; it’s a conscious act of replenishing your physical, mental, and emotional reserves. As you embark on your journey of healing and self-discovery, remember to honor and prioritize the care you extend to yourself.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.gouldwoodmeadows.ca/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gouldwoodmeadows/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Gouldwoodmeadows
Image Credits
All Photography work is done by Taylor, Gould with GouldWood Meadows. ( I was a Photographer for 9 years – but have since retired my photography business to focus on GouldWood Meadows )
