We recently connected with Ken Fong and have shared our conversation below.
Ken, so great to have you with us and we want to jump right into a really important question. In recent years, it’s become so clear that we’re living through a time where so many folks are lacking self-confidence and self-esteem. So, we’d love to hear about your journey and how you developed your self-confidence and self-esteem.
Without a doubt, my mother was the primary source of my confidence and self-esteem. Oddly enough, given her impoverished upbringing and abusive mother, Mom herself wasn’t as confidence and self-assured as many outsiders thought she was. Even though she was the PTA president and later the moderator of our church board of deacons, Mom struggled to find an inner source of worth that wouldn’t eventually disintegrate.
Unlike many Chinese American mothers, Mom only wanted to have daughters–perhaps in hopes of rectifying her own abysmal treatment from her immigrant mother. So when her first child turned out to be a girl, Mom could barely contain her joy. When she was pregnant with me, she only picked girls’ names in hopes of hitting the jackpot twice. Imagine her disappointment when a chubby little boy popped out instead. However, my umbilical cord had been tangled around my neck as she was trying to push me out into the world. This cut off the flow of oxygen, which resulted in my being a ‘blue baby.’ Unsure whether my being deprived of oxygen would have any dire, long-term effects, the hospital finally sent me home with Mom, with clear instructions for doing therapy with me. As a result, Mom and I bonded, even though she originally was of the mindset not to bond.
It helped that I shared her sense of humor, her effervescent energy, and her ability to make friends quickly. I grew up hearing her constantly say things like “Everyone needs a Kenny!” and “You can do anything that you put your mind to.” She was a constant and consistent and, at times, embarrassing source of ego-strength for me. She died over ten years ago, but her affirmations of me still resound in my head.
But I also developed a spiritual component to my confidence and self-esteem. Even though I’d grown up a Christian, I still struggled at times over the years with being a people-pleaser. And trust, when I became a pastor, my confidence and self-esteem were really put to the test. However, I eventually came to believe that my worth came not from what others thought of me, but whom I was to Jesus. I know that might sound corny, but once I embraced that my worth wasn’t tied to whether or not I was popular or well-liked, I began to give voice to and act upon my convictions. If some people were critical of me, my worth didn’t go down. And if some people thought well of me, my worth didn’t go up. Having this attitude has definitely immensely helped me to carve out my niche in the vast expanse of the podcast world the past ten years.
Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?
A few years before I retired from having been a pastor for over 40 years, one of my friends convinced me that we should start a podcast that focused on Asian American guests and related issues. We launched Asian America: The Ken Fong Podcast in May 2015, hoping that we’d find enough guests for our weekly episodes, and also hoping that our show would find a consistent audience. Today there are myriad podcasts hosted by Asian Americans. But I’ve been told that ours was among the first to be hosted Asian Americans and dedicated to spotlighting Asian American culture-makers and -shakers. We’ve been downloaded close to 750,000 times, and www.listennotes.com consistently ranks our podcast in the Top 1% among the 3.3 million podcasts in the world. And I don’t know too many other podcasts that are partnered with a major university. In 2022, UCLA’s Asian American Studies Center asked if they could partner with us, storing all of our episodes in their digital library.
Just like Mom, I’ve always been open to befriending all kinds of people, from all walks of life. As such, my guests run the gamut from musicians, authors, poets, activists, therapists, filmmakers, rappers, actors, politicians, playwrights, candidates, and even comedians. I used to have to beat the bushes to find 50+ guests each year, but lately, 35-45% of my guests approach me because I’ve become a trusted and reliable booster of Asian Americans and whatever they’re doing.
One such guest from two years ago was an aging former rock band member in Southern California during the Sixties and Seventies. There was a huge Asian American music and dance scene back then. I was the perfect person to interview him because I’d been part of that same scene in Northern Cal. His appearance on my podcast helped publicize his “Chronicles of a Sansei Rocker” self-published book, and it’s now in its fourth printing! He put together a sold-out symposium featuring a few other Asian American musicians from that scene, then produced four sold-out shows featuring a reunion of some of his bandmates and a few newbies. I ended up being paid to photograph those shows. And now, this coming May, he’s invited me to co-host an even bigger show with his band! He’d become a regular listener to my show, and is convinced that I’ve got a lot more to offer than my penchant for photographing concerts. So this spring, I’ll not only be bantering with him, but also singing background harmonies and playing my flute!
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
Given the fact that I’ve carved out a space on the Web as a weekly podcaster, one of the skills that I already possessed as a pastor that I’ve really sharpened now is the ability to connect quickly with a stranger (most guests), using the first 10 minutes together in the virtual green room to alleviate their anxieties, and to get them leaning into our hour-long guided conversation. The highest compliment I frequently get once we’re done is that this was the best “interview” by far that they’ve had, and that I’m clearly a pro at this. I think my being naturally curious enables me to generate genuine interest in whatever each guest is bringing to the table. Given the fact that I’ve interviewed the lead scientist for the Mars Curiosity Rover, a gay Malaysian poet, legendary actor George Takei, and a Silicon Valley tech entrepreneur, I pride myself on my prepping, but also seasoning the conversations so that my listeners will want to keep listening.
Whatever your journey is and wherever you find yourself right now, make sure that you take the time to know what YOUR ‘voice’ sounds like. It’s so understandably tempting, especially when we’re starting out, to try and emulate (or even imitate) those that we admire who have inspired us to take a similar path. But try as you might, no one will ever mistake you for them. But no one has your particular POV, no one else is the combination of all that you are. Identify your unique voice and then practice using it whenever you can, as much as you can. This will not only help you refine your voice, it will let a growing audience know what you sound like.
How would you spend the next decade if you somehow knew that it was your last?
My original partner in doing this weekly podcast had to bow out after five years. He’d been the one handling all of the recording, editing, and publishing of our weekly show. When he reluctantly said that it was time for him to refocus his energies, my first thought was that this meant that our podcast was over. I didn’t have a clue how to do all those technical things. But to my surprise (and maybe his), I figured it all out, and I actually love that side of this endeavor, too.
However, when you’re a one-person operation, having enough time each week to prep and record interviews, edit them, create the graphics, publish them, and then share on social media platforms requires excellent time management. I pride myself on dropping a new episode each Sunday, but meeting that goal has been a lot more challenging these past twelve months. Back in February, my wife’s cancer suddenly get super aggressive and she finally died in July. In the ensuing months, I’ve taken on most of her responsibilities AND am now in a serious romantic relationship with my girlfriend from when I was a senior in high school half a century ago. And she lives in Northern California and I live in SoCal. But because I believe that my most loyal listeners look forward to tuning in to a new episode each week, sometimes I’ve had to compress several weeks of work into a single week. But you know what? Life doesn’t care what else you have going on. You just have to focus on what needs to get done, and do it.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.aapodcast.com
- Instagram: asianamericapodcast
- Linkedin: ken-fong
Image Credits
Ken Fong
