We recently connected with Vanessa Graziano and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Vanessa, appreciate you sitting with us today to share your wisdom with our readers. So, let’s start with resilience – where do you get your resilience from?
I struggled with trauma back in 2006 which led to a serious addiction in 2008. I was able to get clean in 2014 and today I have over eight years sober. Through my recovery and my healing journey I have really been able to show up and take responsibility and accountability for my actions and also my words and my thoughts. I know that every moment matters and learning how to let go of what no longer served me and turn my trauma into treasure has allowed me to show up today in a very powerful and positive way. Today I know that it is moment to moment and it really is a daily practice to implement self-care and show up throughout your day using words that are positive and thoughts that are transformational. We are the creator of every moment and how we show up impacts our soul and those around us. I have an able to come out of a very dark time and through my ability to really see the truth around my choices I’ve been able to rise up and create a space of love. I have three amazing kids Dylan who is 22, Asher who is 20 and Haddie who is almost 14. Learning how to turn my self-doubt into self love and really showing up for myself has given my kids the tools to show up for themselves which really is such a beautiful gift. I have also had the opportunity to speak in front of our youth and bring in different powerful programs that truly have turned so many lives around.
Over the last 3 1/2 years I have been running a nonprofit that helps families and individuals get off the streets. we bring in the pathways of healing and radical recovery of self that helps turn your self doubt into self-love.
We all have trauma that we have been through and it’s our responsibility to be able to show up. Trauma is the meaning that we place within and we have an opportunity to heal and implement different spiritual practices throughout the moments of our day so that we can let go of any self limiting beliefs and absolutely create new declarations for our lives. There is so much strength in forgiving ourselves and letting go.
it’s really about showing up and taking full responsibility for who you are so that you can let go and flow into gratitude.
I stay resilient for myself and I believe that we truly are all connected and when we can show up and love ourselves and truly honor who we are and value our voices and our hearts then we can show up in this world for others so powerfully and stay in a consciousness of love.
Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?
I grew up in LA. I started singing when I was five. Three days a week I would go Into Burbank with my grandma in her pink Cadillac and we would always get lunch at cupids. Singing wasn’t a hobby, it was my life. I ended up going to star search and in high school I was in a three part harmony band that traveled up and down the coast of California. I went on to sing in college and became a studio singer in LA.. I lived in Venice right by the beach in a studio with my baby grand piano and wrote music and really enjoyed that time in my life. I started working for Amanda and Freddi fields. He was Judy Garland‘s agent back in the day and also a producer. I worked there for a couple years until he decided to hit on me and instead of standing up for myself I decided to go back to San Diego and start over. Started a band. I started singing in the Navy band. I ended up meeting my husband who was the violinist and we had two kids and we were married for about five years and got divorced. That’s when the trauma set in. I didn’t realize that I was suffering with trauma. I always had a purpose. I always had a goal. I never had any issues with drugs or any kind of mental health. However everything changed. I started having moments of depression so I went to see a Doctor Who sent me to a psychiatrist who prescribe me Adderall and Xanax at the same time. I have two incredible little boys that were three and five and I have never taken any kind of substances and definitely this combination made me struggle even more. I really just wanted somebody to talk to you because I felt like my dreams were gone and I couldn’t breathe but yet I had to show up every day and act like everything was OK and it wasn’t. My cousin moved in with me who was a nurse and she ended up turning me onto street drugs, methamphetamines. I started using and used often on for eight years. I got clean in 2009 and had my beautiful daughter and started using again in 2011 due to more trauma and not having the tools to show up for myself and take responsibility. Instead I played the victim and it just got worse. I ended up getting into rehab in 2015 and got sober and now I have over eight years clean. In 2019 I started coming out and volunteering for different youth shelters. Where we live in Oceanside there are no shelters for our youth that are overnight and we would send them to the Streets and I just really could not have that. I teamed up with a local church and we started doing meals on Tuesday nights once a month and I would invite my whole family and friends and it was so beautiful. I would even sing. Then I met some amazing people and we started doing Resource fair‘s . we would bring in the shower truck and different resources and set up booths and community members would come in and bring food and drop off donations and it was just amazing and then Covid hit. All the sudden everyone was indoors and there was no resources for our homeless community and families. Everything was shut down and bathrooms were locked and no shelters were open. In March 2020 we became a nonprofit called the Oceanside Homeless Resource and we opened up the only shelter in Oceanside in North County that were opening their doors to everyone. I quickly learned that I had to go to the community for help in every day I was out there serving 100 meals partnering up with different nonprofits to bring food and then also raising thousands and thousands of dollars a day to keep people in. We were so blessed to get a first a $50,000 donation at the beginning which allowed us to partner up with a motel. We stayed open for three years and raised almost $850,000. When I first came out here I thought that I’d have a lot more help but I did not. I did it all on my own and came out to the community every single day sharing my story and my struggle and was very transparent. I wanted to bring hope and show people that there is always a pathway to healing. We turned our shelter into a program right away. We started working with people over the county but nothing was open so we had to help people get off drugs and help them move forward and help them get into housing which we did. Over the last six months it’s been very difficult to raise money. Cove it is no longer and people are back to who they are. However the homeless situation has just gotten worse and prices for rent have gotten higher and people have been kicked out of their home so we see more families coming in. Over the last three years we have been so blessed to get over 350 people off the streets and create programs in groups to really help turn your self down into self-love. It’s very dramatic being out on the streets as I know. It’s not just about drugs. It’s about trauma. It’s about rediscovering who you are and knowing that you are worth it and having people walk alongside you and love you and care about you with no judgment. That’s what I did for the last four years. I put my heart and soul into It. I’m so proud of our community and all the love that we have brought. All the resources and bridges that we have connected and made for so many to continue to do great work out here. I have always been somebody that shares the light with all. I want to see everyone succeed. I want to believe that we are all in this together connected caring about each other and lifting people up. Again the nonprofit raised almost $1 million in three years however over the last six months it’s been difficult and sadly we are going to have to close our doors because we can’t seem to raise money. It has been a very hard lesson for me. I came out here the first year and did this all volunteer. I always put people in front of me and my family because I wanted to make sure that they were given an opportunity to thrive. Only in the last year and a half have I’ve been able to take a small salary. Again I always wanted to put people first and sadly we’re not able to raise the money that we need and we will be closing down leaving me in a very awkward situation however I know that I can get through anything. Today I am a certified Recovery and trauma coach. I put myself through education over the last year and a half because I know that trauma is the main cause of why the majority of people in life feel stuck and feel not enough. So today I use the tools that I have to get through my moments daily. I implement different spiritual practices and show a moment to moment. Today I really do understand that every moment matters and no matter what we’re going through we have to use our words in our thoughts and our actions in a powerful way so that we can get through and there is always an outcome and how we respond is truly our super power. I’m just so grateful to have three incredible kids. I’m grateful to be on the other side of a very dark and dehumanizing addiction. Today I’m so grateful that I can show up for myself and get really responsible and accountable and see the truth of everything that comes my way and show up in a way that allows me to flow into gratitude and forgive myself and others. Today I’m committed to self-love and staying above water even though the storm is flowing through. I just know today that truly it is a daily practice to show up for ourselves and to bring love to our lives so that we can give from that overflow. I’ve learned so much over the last four years by showing up for others and creating different pathways of healing for others and myself.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
We all have this question at different times in our lives. Honestly I show up for yourself. Take responsibility around your words and your actions and your choices. Be accountable for who you are and the healthy boundaries that you create. Keep them in place. Be able to look at life and see the truth around different situations and know that there are times where you have to forgive yourself For not showing up the way that you know is authentic and genuine. Also learn how to forgive others. When we forgive we let go and we can absolutely illuminate the light within which is love. Self-love is so important. Love yourself above all. Become your one true love before you give everything to someone else. Learn how to love yourself enough so that when you give you give from an overflow of love and you attract others that love themselves also. It is not selfish to love yourself. It’s powerful and transformational. Know that your trauma and everything you have been through absolutely can create strength you just have to decide to start allowing yourself a space to heal. Being vulnerable creates new strength And lastly you create your life by how you respond and it impacts your journey and your soul and those around you. Your response is powerful and it’s your superpower.
Okay, so before we go we always love to ask if you are looking for folks to partner or collaborate with?
Over the last year I’ve had the most amazing opportunities to speak for different high schools. To speak to our youth. I have also been able to show up for myself which has given my daughter more confidence in her own self and I’ve been watching her grow and take responsibility and accountability and also implement the The seven steps of Radical Recovery of Self which are so powerful and when you know the steps you can use them at any time throughout your moments of your day when you are feeling overwhelmed or worried or fear gets a hold of you. I would like to collaborate with others. I would like to speak more at different schools. I would like to bring in the Pathways of Healing and Radical recovery of self to our youth. It is so important and I have seen lives change in kids absolutely learn how to turn their self-doubt into self-love. I would like to bring this to a bigger platform because I know it works and I believe in it and I would like to share it with all of you so that you could bring it also.. taking radical responsibility around yourself and accountability and being able to see the truth so that you can absolutely let go and feel the gratitude and forgive yourself is so powerful. We need to teach our kids this. We need to teach them the tools to show up for themselves and so yes I would love to collaborate. I would love to connect. I would love to come and speak and also share with all of you these tools so that you can also implement them in your own lives for yourself and your kids. It’s not just for our youth. It’s for us. We are connected. We have what we need inside. We can change every moment by the words we use in the thoughts we think ✨
Contact Info:
- Website: Www.OceansideHomelessResource.com
- Instagram: Loveonthegroundresources
- Facebook: vanessae.graz
- Linkedin: Vanessa Graziano
