We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Jennifer Seidner (Kuchler). We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Jennifer below.
Hi Jennifer, really happy you were able to join us today and we’re looking forward to sharing your story and insights with our readers. Let’s start with the heart of it all – purpose. How did you find your purpose?
There is a fire inside each one of us that guides us, from the time we are little, towards the subjects we like…. and away from the ones that don’t ignite us. Taking the time to understand what it means, is the tricky part. I spent alot of time trying to let that fire to grow inside of me while trying to think logically within the parameters of possibility. My first passion acknowledged was to help solve issues which led me towards being an FBI Agent. As I worked diligently to pass all of their exams and interviews I was one step away from the final interview. One issue, it was scheduled on Sept 12, 2001 in New York City. Due to the devastating attacks, the interview was clearly rescheduled but we were informed of a 7 year hold for new agents. As I learned to pivot my career towards learning and growing it took some time for my passion to shift along with me towards being a teacher. I spent time loving the connection with kindergarteners and first graders yet felt that pull towards something more. Listen to your passion. I made another fast turn in an effort towards making my fire grow to incorporate the inclusion of the emerging technology boom moving towards ecommerce and training. My resume was an interesting topic as I already had 3 shifts in industry and then decided to own it and move my passion again towards learning new industries within the ecommerce and learning field. Every few years, my passion spoke to me helping me to feel a pull towards different industries where I dedicated years learning different industries as I worked for Sony Electronics, Emergency Medical Startups, Hyundai Capital Finance, Staples Corporate, Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf and Redbull North America. This eventually led me into the field of organizational psychology within these companies and then finally into my full passion of clinical psychology as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist which incorporates every single aspect of my gifts. Once your career passion is solid, it is my belief that you can move with more confidence towards building your life passion striving to live within your full potential- truly living and not just existing. Your true purpose will continue to grow with you in many aspects as you continuously learn and develop. The relationship between purpose and growth will take time, balance and curiosity as the dance steps will change and the intensity will shift. This dance is a part of the beauty of life and the ability to build a relationship within yourself and be inspired by others.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
As a therapist, I help individuals who feel lost in their lives, trapped by external expectations and self-imposed pressure, struggling to break free from shame-driven motivation, and navigating the conflict between societal obligations and personal desires. Using trauma-focused techniques, I help clients shed unrealistic personal expectations, learn to be intentional with their actions, and help them find their true identity so they can break the negative thought patterns and behaviors keeping them trapped from living the life they want. Through our work together, my clients learn to be solution-focused, rely on their strengths to guide them with courage during difficult moments, have increased self-esteem and confidence, develop healthy coping skills, learn how to protect their peace, create goals, celebrate the small wins, and build a life they are truly excited about. The work is so rewarding!
There is a unique blend of cultural appreciation having spent the majority of my life in New York/New Jersey and being blessed with the ability to travel to different cultures creating a vast appreciation of what the world has to offer from a high level. In other words…. a well-versed traveler with cultural appreciation walks into a bar and merges the contrasting cultures of New York and Southern California. All kidding aside, my life hasn’t been easy. I have been through multiple traumas throughout the chapters and developed resiliency, perspective, and motivation in the darkest of moments. This is a gift I can bring to the clinical world when clients describe their symptoms, they aren’t just a check box on a form they are not acceptable options to live with. Together we form a team, a strategy and a customized plan to move towards a life you will be proud of.
The company name is a salute to the history of my family who came from Norway to Ellis Island and made a home in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn and is also tied to the roots that I created in the South Bay area of Los Angeles. Our worldview is created from our experiences, culture, ethics, values and relationships where I have made a choice of which generational lessons, values, and cultural components to bring into my personal and professional life.
As a company, we are soon expanding from virtual services throughout the State of California to include Oregon and Texas. Life is very exciting when you live it to the fullest, your passion continues to grow and opportunities open. It’s contagious if you are ready and looking.
This is an exciting year personally as well, celebrating marriage and a last name change for me to bond our family together.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
1) Never dull your spark. Ever. It will always be there to remind you of your direction. Listen to it and explore it creatively with courage and without judgment. The chapters of your life are being written every day whether you are making choices or letting them be made for you. Pick up the pen and start to write the story of your life with your actions, intentions, and impact. As a cancer survivor (11 years this easter! ), I can tell you that there isn’t one minute of your life that is worth wasting. Your spark is what makes you unique, it’s what can direct you, it’s what will help you to feel true joy – if you can learn how to truly listen to what it’s telling you. Don’t wait for a diagnosis to change your life and appreciate time.
2) Live with intention, not judgment. We tend to live on autopilot or as a reaction to the behavior of others or doing what we think we “should” do. I hope by reading this you are released from those beliefs. Don’t “should” all over yourself or anyone else. Do the things you WANT to do, not the things you think others would tell you that you SHOULD do. It’s the opposite direction of a fulfilling life. The opposite of autopilot is hypervigilance where you are on edge looking and waiting for the next life-threatening issue to come into play. Both are opposites which are guiding us away from living in the moment. The moment seems so simple, yet so impossible for us to tap into for a long period of time. As a survivor of a shooting, I worked to learn what behaviors I was showing based on an experience instead of living with true intention. Allow our experiences to impact us but not change what we think, see and do to live in accordance with fear. The goal is to impact our intentions but not behave with reactions in fear.
3) You only get one shot, make it worth it. Be in the driver’s seat of your own life and steer it. Think of what you would do differently if there weren’t any financial repercussions or outside judgment. Then find a way to responsibly follow your gut and connect your heart with your own life and the people around you. Find peace and joy in the tiny moments, they are the ones you will remember in your life. Choose to release the ones that won’t serve you. Some days, the world will steer us to do the things we have to do in order to live in accordance with social obligations. Don’t wait to live your life. Don’t take time for granted. When I was in my late 20’s, my mother was diagnosed with Stage 4 Gallbladder Cancer and I gave up my personal life to be her rock. I wouldn’t change that decision for anything, regardless of what I had to give up to give her that gift. I watched her major regret of “waiting to live”. My takeaway from that incredibly difficult journey is to not save anything too long. Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed, so live today with the best version of yourself in everything that you do. Time isn’t to be feared, it can be a motivator towards living within the best version of yourself. Believe in yourself, trust your gut and be your best advocate in this world.
Who is your ideal client or what sort of characteristics would make someone an ideal client for you?
The word, trauma, is something that seems to surprise people when we look at the proper classification. The things we have endured in our lives are typically things that we would never classify as traumatic but oftentimes fit the definition. Without significant challenges, we could never have the ability to develop resiliency. The purpose of growth doesn’t exist without the opportunity of failure. We live in a world where there is very little room to grow and learn with support and without judgment or future negative implications. My ideal client would be someone who is open to building a therapeutic relationship together with vulnerability, effort, and commitment towards their journey. With the foundation built, we can look into a nonjudgemental perspective learning how others have affected them throughout their lives and how that has potentially impacted their choices and identity.
I help individuals who feel lost in their lives, trapped by external expectations and self-imposed
pressure, struggling to break free from shame-driven motivation, and navigating the conflict between
societal obligations and personal desires. Using trauma-focused techniques, I help clients shed
unrealistic personal expectations, learn to be intentional with their actions, and help them find their
true identity so they can break the negative thought patterns and behaviors keeping them trapped from living the life they want. Through our work together, my clients learn to be solution-focused, rely on their strengths to guide them with courage during difficult moments, have increased self-esteem and confidence, develop healthy coping skills, learn how to protect their peace, create goals, celebrate the small wins, and build a life they are excited about. My legacy is tied to my passion as clients are able to live a full and happy life impacting others that we meet along the way. I hope to be able to positively impact as many as will allow, developing that legacy every day with every client.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.BayRidgeEffectiveTherapy.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bayridge_effective_therapy/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/BayRidgeEffectiveTherapy/
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenniferkuchler/
- Other: Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/profile/858970
Image Credits
these images are my own or paid for and approved for release in a publication from the photography company: The Studio At Southbay
