Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Emily Bowman. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Hi Emily , thank you so much for opening up with us about some important, but sometimes personal topics. One that really matters to us is overcoming Imposter Syndrome because we’ve seen how so many people are held back in life because of this and so we’d really appreciate hearing about how you overcame Imposter Syndrome.
Overcoming imposter syndrome is something I help clients with all the time, and, as with everything else, it is so much easier to guide someone else through a process than to actually do it myself! I’m not sure if I’ve actually completely overcome it or if it’s possible to ever completely arrive at a place of 100% confidence and belief in ourselves 100% of the time, but I’ve made a lot of progress. I recently published my first book, and I never could have or would have gone through with it if I would have allowed imposter syndrome to interfere with my process.
The path through imposter syndrome is different for everybody, and for me, it has really involved just acknowledging it, thanking it for showing up to try to protect me, and then diving in and doing things anyway. Imposter syndrome boils down to a sense of unworthiness and a fear of judgment, and I think that somewhere in there is also a fear of our own greatness. If we don’t let ourselves believe how great we are, we never have to worry about being disappointed, and that’s one of the ways that our egos try to protect us. I don’t believe the ego is ever completely out of the equation (we’re human!), but if we can get it to sit in the backseat, it’s much more manageable. My spirit and my ego have always had this tricky relationship when it comes to my writing. I can be so critical and perfectionistic about my art, but I create best and more authentically when I’m coming at it from a space of surrender to a bigger purpose or energy or whatever you want to call it. When I just go for it and start writing/creating from that aligned, authentic place, the joy of the process is so much more important than the outcome, and that joy really diminishes the judgment and fear that feed imposter syndrome.
I also try not to get too caught up in the comparison game. I try! There are so many times I’ve told myself my poems aren’t intellectual enough, my phrases are too cliche, I’m not a real writer because I don’t have a regular writing practice, etc. When I catch myself in these moments, I just have to remind myself that I’m writing because I love to write and that there are people who benefit from my words, and will continue to benefit from my words even if I’m not a genius poet with poems published in poetry journals. I really debated about whether I should publish the book I just published, but the feedback I’ve gotten from friends AND from complete strangers has been so affirming about the value of this type of book and about my ability to convey the human experience through poetry, so I’m really glad I just went for it and did it anyway.
Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?
I’ve been a therapist for over 20 years, and I am very passionate about my work in guiding people on their journeys through growth and healing. I am also a writer (mostly poetry), and I often write about themes that my clients encounter on the healing path, as well as aspects of the universal human experience that I also encounter in my own life. I regularly post my poems and photographs on Instagram, and I just published a book called “reflect & expand.” The book contains 12 original poems and photographs, along with accompanying prompts that readers can use for further reflection. I also included space for journaling in the book for readers to record their experiences with the poems and prompts. As part of my book launch, I’ve also been creating handmade bookmarks with little wisdom/advice tidbits.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
Tough question! I think the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that have been most impactful for me have been courage, trust, and self-knowledge.
Any type of art takes courage! There is a certain bravery that has to be present when you’re creating something from nothing, whether it’s a painting, a poem, or a business. A willingness to leap into the unknown and to potentially spend a lot of time flailing around in the uncertainty of possibility is no small thing, but it’s something that all artists and creators of other types must do. There can be a lot of discomfort in the process, but nobody ever did anything worthwhile from their comfort zones!
Trust is similar to courage because taking that leap requires a certain amount of trust in the process and in yourself. I really believe that if you can trust that what you’re doing is in alignment with some sort of greater good, even if that greater good is as simple as your own joy, that trust can propel you forward. It’s also important to get rid of this whole idea of succeed/fail and to just trust that whatever you’re doing is an experience that you’re going to learn from no matter what. It is also so important to trust yourself to find a way to move forward regardless of whatever ends up happening in your process.
Self-knowledge has been a huge part of my journey as a therapist and as a poet, and I feel grateful to be in my mid-40’s (says nobody ever, haha), because I’ve learned so much about myself and what I need in order to be able to show up 100% in whatever I’m doing.
In terms of advice, I think all three of these variables are so connected, and one of the best ways to cultivate all of these qualities is to give yourself experiences outside of your comfort zone (try new activities, travel, spend time with people you might not otherwise spend time with, spend time alone if that’s uncomfortable, etc.), and then take time to reflect on what you’ve learned and how you’ve expanded!
Who has been most helpful in helping you overcome challenges or build and develop the essential skills, qualities or knowledge you needed to be successful?
There have been so many wonderful people along my path who have supported, inspired, and encouraged me….it takes a village and it’s hard to choose just one! I will say, though, that one person who has been extremely impactful in my growth as a creator (and as a human being, in general!) is my significant other, Benny BoOM. He is a creator, himself, in many different realms, and he inspires me daily as I watch him squeeze opportunities to create out of every spare moment. Prior to living with him, I had compartmentalized my creative pursuits and thought that I had to have big chunks of time blocked out to do them, and I could only do them after the house was clean, the laundry was done, etc., but he has modeled a very different approach, and I now realize that 1) it’s okay for art to be a priority and 2) even 10 minutes is plenty of time to scribble down an idea for a poem, pick up an instrument and play something, prime a canvas, edit a photo, etc. He is also so brave in his own approach to art, and it inspires me to bring that same courage and boldness to my own projects. I also appreciate his unconditional support in everything I do and his belief in my abilities that often exceeds my own belief. Having such a creative, bold, supportive person by my side has definitely allowed me to see possibilities I might not have seen on my own, and has challenged me to push past all the excuses I’ve traditionally made for not creating. Together, we’ve created a living space that really encourages and nourishes creativity, and we both believe strongly in nurturing each other’s art and “shining together.”
Contact Info:
- Website: findyourfree.net
- Instagram: @millybangz
Image Credits
“reflect & expand cover yellow” by Bryden Wilson “reflect & expand” inside by Shelly Francis
