We were lucky to catch up with Pamela Diaz recently and have shared our conversation below.
Pamela , first a big thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts and insights with us today. I’m sure many of our readers will benefit from your wisdom, and one of the areas where we think your insight might be most helpful is related to imposter syndrome. Imposter syndrome is holding so many people back from reaching their true and highest potential and so we’d love to hear about your journey and how you overcame imposter syndrome.
Unfortunately, imposter syndrome has been something that has followed me around for the majority of my life. From middle school, when I was told that I’d be put into two high school level classes as a result of my introductory placement test to post-college, receiving callbacks or any small wins as a creative.
School was always very enjoyable for me and I found most things manageable, but never in my years would I have thought that myself and a handful of other classmates would be able to surpass our peers in the way that we did. Then of course when I got there, everything felt like it was a million times harder. That was the first time I experienced Imposter Syndrome. It was difficult to put it into words at the time. I just knew that despite having been chosen, I felt that I didn’t belong no matter how hard I tried. Eventually, I convinced myself that what I felt was the truth and so I began to slack and found creative ways to pass tests, quizzes, and homework. Fast forward to high school. I was trying to decide what school to go to. My mom wanted to put me in a private school in NYC and I opposed it for some reason. By the time we needed to make a decision, all private school enrollment and placement test deadlines had passed. We were scrambling to enroll me, so we decided to shoot our shot regardless of the deadlines. We walked into a catholic private school that all of my mom’s friends adored, asked if we could submit my transcript and they took it. The next week we got a call that I’d be able to enroll for the upcoming school year! My mom was happily surprised. I was shocked, and then, at some point pleased. It wasn’t until I saw the body of students, the competition for honors, and the level of intelligence that fit into that building that I began to feel like an imposter. I immediately wished I had fought my mom harder in favor of the complete opposite.
As an adult, imposter syndrome showed up in my life differently. Having been post-grad, I felt that a lot was riding on getting a specific job or booking a specific show/commercial. Everything weighed heavily. Instead of having thoughts of, “Why am I here?!” it became, “I shouldn’t be here.” I was rejecting myself before I got the chance to be rejected by the people making the decisions. It affected me mentally and emotionally, but I pushed through because I wanted what I was working towards. Slowly, but surely the work began to pay off. I persevered. I recall a time when I was waiting to get into the room at a callback, and I began to feel incredibly doubtful. I thought, “Why would they choose me of all people?” and then reminded myself – I got the callback. They want to see me. They already chose me. From then on it’s been a constant reminder of “I’ve already been chosen,” and a whole lot of gratitude. Being grateful for the opportunities ahead of me makes me feel like I’m ready to take them head-on. Never fearful or doubtful. I wish I could pinpoint what it was that I did to overcome such an obstacle. Right now it seems like it was a ton of tiny reminders, faith, and gratitude.
Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?
I am a multihyphenate. I am interested in so many things, and I decided a long time ago that I have a full life to do anything and everything. However, from the very beginning, I’ve always loved taking the stage or being in front of a camera, especially at family events. As I continued to explore this passion, I soon realized that I loved to be behind the camera and backstage as well. I loved learning about everything that went into creating a piece that made people feel all kinds of raw emotions. From there, I decided to give myself the titles of Actress, Producer, and Filmmaker. Each title is something I’m so proud of. Still, I have the desire to do more. To be more! I’ve always wanted to open a nonprofit back in my mother’s home country for young aspiring filmmakers and actors in spaces that wouldn’t usually offer these opportunities. Additionally, I’d like to start my own production company for people who look like me. Looking back at my childhood, I am so grateful for the times I spent with people who have similar backgrounds as me but are in positions of leadership or embarking on their entrepreneurial journey. Representation matters, and it helped shape me into who I am today. There’s so much more that I’d like to give a piece of myself to in this lifetime, but who knows if I’ll live all the lives I’d like to live. Only time will tell!
I fell in love with acting and everything else in between because it is such a collaborative environment to be in and it is a completely different feeling when you’re in a state of flow with other people who are in that same state. Things move so efficiently and effortlessly. It’s like everyone is already thinking the same thing before anyone has verbalized it. Furthermore, the simple feeling of having a stage light/LED light drives me forward. Not the feeling of the light on me, but knowing that when that light comes on – the audience/crew fades away and my world is no longer entwined with reality. I am in whatever world is happening on stage or in front of the camera. I am no longer Pamela Diaz, but whatever character I am meant to be. In a way… acting allows me to live all the lives I’ve wanted to live in small increments. That may be the most exciting part of it all.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
The three qualities that were (and still are) extremely impactful in my journey have been Discipline, Optimism, and Gratitude. Discipline is one that I struggled with for a very long time until I realized that I can’t keep wishing or hoping for something to work out, I have to make it work. It’s all the little things that add up that make magic happen. All the small habits add up and slowly I start becoming the woman that I aspire to be. I am forever grateful to Atomic Habits by James Clear for helping me come to terms with the poor habits that I kept (like going to bed late), and giving me step-by-step instructions on how to build better habits and break old ones. It was a life-changing read that I still reference to this day and continuing to apply what I’ve learned keeps me moving forward.
In my life, optimism and gratitude have always gone hand in hand. I always think of the best possible outcome while only considering the worst. If the worst came to fruition, I’d be disappointed of course but would have been grateful for the current circumstances. As an artist, I have received many rejections but I am incredibly grateful for having the opportunity in the first place. There is always a silver lining to any situation, it’s all about what you decide to pay mind to.
For all those who are just embarking on this journey, I ask that you have patience in all that you do because the good will always come if you’re willing to be consistent with your work. Appreciate where you are on your journey now and if you feel that you can be in a better place, then set yourself up for success! Always think about your future self. They will be grateful for all that you’ve accomplished. Read Atomic Habits, and journal every day! Your future self will love to read back those entries and see how far they’ve come. Be grateful for the small things one day at a time. I always start with “I’m grateful for being able to breathe.” I hate a stuffy nose. It’s amazing how your perspective can completely change with each new expression of gratitude, one page of writing/reading, and each step towards the future you!
What was the most impactful thing your parents did for you?
The most impactful thing my mother has done for me is to believe in me. My mother immigrated to the States from the Dominican Republic when she was 18 without knowing a drop of English. From then on, she’s had to sacrifice a lot to get to where she is now and raise me to become the person I am today. From the moment I voiced wanting to be on TV or a stage, she encouraged me to do so. She is consistently propelling me forward and reminding me that I am capable of doing anything – of accomplishing anything. Being a first-generation American means I carry the load of becoming a doctor, lawyer, or anything that is considered a “secure” job. I am meant to be the golden ticket to the American dream, or at least that’s how it feels. Despite the weight of the world on my mom’s shoulders and the hope she carried vicariously through me – she never forced me to do anything I didn’t feel passionate about. She just believed in me and trusted that I would accomplish whatever I set my mind to. She’s the wind beneath my wings and I will never let her forget it.
Contact Info:
- Instagram: @getempam_
