We were lucky to catch up with Yolanda Lewis recently and have shared our conversation below.
Yolanda, so good to have you with us today. We’ve got so much planned, so let’s jump right into it. We live in such a diverse world, and in many ways the world is getting better and more understanding but it’s far from perfect. There are so many times where folks find themselves in rooms or situations where they are the only ones that look like them – that might mean being the only woman of color in the room or the only person who grew up in a certain environment etc. Can you talk to us about how you’ve managed to thrive even in situations where you were the only one in the room?
In most cases, I gained the tools on how to navigate success, respect, and presence when I was a child. Being the tallest and the darkest skinned girl in school translated into strategies I applied as an adult that helped me overcome the challenges that come with building a publishing company. Namely, there are three strategies that I live by:
1. Mindset – Embracing what makes me unique in any given situation is a decision that comes from a positive mindset. It is understanding that being different isn’t negative. It is wonderful!
2. Find Allies – As the saying goes, it’s not always what you know, rather who you know. Who you know is not about exchanging a business card. It’s about letting people into your space and finding a point of real connection. Its about self awareness and knowing what you bring to the table. It is also about boundaries. There is no need to reach for connection with everyone. I teach my authors this principle, “When you reach for everyone, you’re sure to reach for no one. I like to, and encourage others to, connect on purpose.
3. Know what you want – Whenever I knew what I wanted to gain or learn from a situation, I achieved it only because I went in with clarity and intention.
Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?
“You’ll never sell any books without us. Matter of fact, your writing sucks!”, were the cold words of a publishing consultant on the other end of the phone.
Something about the deal just didn’t feel right. The numbers looked good, the process made sense but my gut was telling me don’t do it. I listened and declined their offer to publish my third book. My heart now crushed, I replayed her words over and over. I cried for weeks until I realized something that changed my life forever.
It was obvious that her words were crude and unprofessional but more than that, I wondered if this is what the landscape of publishing looked like. At the time, new authors were subject to big and boutique publishers who had an “in” But to what cost, I thought. So, I decided. If this is what was out there, I wanted to create a space that was safe for authors to learn, write, grow, and publish their story. And Extreme Overflow Publishing was born!
Since 2014, we’ve helped authors navigate through the writing, publishing, branding and marketing phases of getting their message out and changing the world. I absolutely love what we do because we’re changing the world too. By offering our signature one-on-one coaching program like our Launchpad Program, our clients achieve their goals far beyond their wildest dreams.
“From the moment I had the idea of writing a book Yolanda was by my side supporting my vision and helping me bring it to life. …Through all the ups and downs she motivated me, guided my writing and got me to the finish line. I love the final product and I couldn’t have done it without her. As a first-time author it was incredibly hard to navigate through the entire process and she was always there to answer all of my questions and resolve all of my concerns. I love my book.
Yolanda and her team are truly the best!” Talita Guerrero, Author of “A Dope Life”
We offer writing workshops, marketing services, and design services that enable us to be a premier resource for writers to become the authority they’ve only dreamed about. It is exciting work I am honored to be a part of.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
I’d definitely say resilience is the first quality I realized impacted my life deeply.
To be able to bounce back from anything means you have to be soft. Imagine throwing a brick at a wall. It will either fall flat on the ground or break into a million pieces because against another hard object, the impact is what devastates the object.
To be soft is to allow yourself to feel without guilt. To grow without judgement, and to fail in grace. Over the years, I had to learn to embrace softness, resiliency. Prior to, I found strength in ego. It kept me safe, guarded, but emotions blocked. All of which left my childhood traumas trapped in my overweight body, I’m still learning how to love.
Through resilience, I stay open to the journey of showing up and finding ways to bounce back.
The second I’d say is self care.
Self care plays a critical role in healing so you can live the greatest experience of life possible. Self care is not exclusive to mani’s, pedi’s and spa dates. Self care is breath work, kindness to your body, and most importantly kindness in the words you say to yourself; the inner talk that no one hears but you. I talk more about this in my book, “Saying Yes to You,” however, I learned the importance of self talk when I realized that for many yyears, I was the worst best friend, to myself anyone could ever be. I said things to myself, I’d not even say to my worst enemy. I did the work necessary to be a better friend to myself and I’m so glad I did. Doing so helped me improve other relationships as well.
The third would be celebration!
After you’ve been to hell and back a few times, you learn how to survive the worst of life. You’re strong and ready for the next crisis. Filled with mounting anxiety and stress, your body is tense and you can only see the bad because you’re waiting for it to occur so you can handle it. That was me. Always on guard for the next hell bent experience to fight through. That is, until I found peace in celebration!
When I tell you I celebrate everything, I mean it. I love a good celebration with dancing, music and lots of laughter. I had to practice giving myself permission to be this free, this fun, this happy! Now, I can’t be stopped! Life is precious and worth the celebration we give it.
So long as there is breath in our body, we are all living, learning and growing. Give yourself the container to just be…you. You’ll love it there! Hopefully these three tips unlock parts of you that put you on path to live your best life.
What was the most impactful thing your parents did for you?
The most impactful thing my parents did for me was let me be myself.
Despite the sexual trauma I had faced, of which they’d only learn about twenty years after the fact, my parents recognized my independence and supported it fully.
Home was always safe. It was always where I could, be myself, even if that meant I was dragging their brand new kitchen table chairs out to the back yard to put on a play.
I was nine years old. I wrote, directed, and was the star of this grand backyard play. I remember taking my mom’s freshly washed white sheets and tying them to the tree with rope I’d found in my dad’s shed. The back yard was filled with neighbors they’d not yet met; neighbors that paid tickets I’d made out of construction paper and crayons I found around the house. They didn’t know the play was even going to happen until I dragged them outside to sit in the front row! Those were the days of play outside, find something to do and make friends while you’re out there.
After all of the coordinating of the curtains, held by my siblings, the audience and even the refreshments which were left over candy from my easter basket, I stood behind the curtains my siblings were about to pull back only to realize, I never wrote the script! I did what any nine year old would do. The curtains opened and I made up a storyline that got cheered for in the end.
I love my parents dearly and especially for letting me be me.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.extremeoverflow.com
Image Credits
ADJ Media https://www.adjmedia.co
