Meet Odelia Elgarat

We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Odelia Elgarat a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Odelia, we’re so excited for our community to get to know you and learn from your journey and the wisdom you’ve acquired over time. Let’s kick things off with a discussion on self-confidence and self-esteem. How did you develop yours?

I developed self-confidence and self-esteem by writing my stories. As an adopted child, I had no self-confidence and extremely low self-esteem. The truth surrounding my adoption was a secret and this secrecy had a profound impact on my identity. I felt like someone had taken away my own story. I wanted to belong and I desperately looked for love.

I was a teenager when I truly realized that I was adopted, causing my life to turn upside down. The fact that my adoptive parents had kept this secret made me believe they were ashamed of being my parents, and the knowledge that my biological mother didn’t want me intensified my desire to be loved. Unfortunately, my search for love proved futile, marking the beginning of a personal catastrophe. I overcame significant challenges during my journey.

However, through the process of writing my story, I had a transformative experience. It provided me with the opportunity to revisit my past and release judgment. This act of reflection allowed me to learn the art of self-forgiveness, self-love, and self-respect. Gradually, I began to cultivate confidence and enhance my self-esteem, restoring my faith in myself.

By confronting my challenges through writing, I discovered a path to healing and personal growth. It empowered me to reclaim my narrative, embracing my past and using it as a catalyst for positive change and inner peace.

Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?

I grew up in Paris, France, surrounded by books. From a young age, my mom introduced me to the love of books. I wrote my first story when I was 10 about a boy who no one wanted to play with because he looked different. Since then, I dreamed of being an author.

I discovered the transformative power of words, and since then, I’ve been writing. I started writing full-time back in 2015 during my degree in art and culture in Sapir college in Israel. Today I live in Colorado and I’m proud to say that my dreams have come true—I’m an author. I’m also a guided autobiography instructor. I truly believe in the healing power of writing our memories.

In 2021, I proudly shared my debut book, “You Are Allowed,” a genuine memoir recounting my personal story, available on Amazon. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09K21NT91

Motivated by a deep desire to provoke change and raise awareness, I recently completed my latest work, “Never Allowed.” This powerful book sheds light on the harsh realities of domestic violence. (Publication: March 2024)

Recognizing the significance of fostering self-confidence in young readers, I also wrote “Rubby is Scared,” a children’s book that celebrates the journey toward self-assurance. (Publication: December 2024)

I have written a book titled “Reconciliation: Forgive, Love, Respect Yourself First,” which explores self-awareness for adults. This book holds a special place in my heart as it encapsulates all the lessons I’ve learned throughout my writing journey—lessons that have profoundly transformed my life. (Publication: October 2024)

Currently, I am deeply engrossed in a new project titled “Adoption and Beyond,” scheduled for publication this November. This work delves into the profound emotions, challenges, and triumphs experienced by women through the extraordinary journey of adoption.

In addition to my own works, I have enjoyed being interviewed on podcasts and collaborating with other authors. I have participated in a few podcasts and contributed to two books that focus on women’s empowerment, both available on Amazon: “Advice For Moms From Around The World: #ToMyYoungerSelf,” a collection of tips for every stage of motherhood with contributions from 37 mothers, by Trina Licavoli Gunzel, and “Leave it All on the Dance Floor” by Laura Cooke.

Teaching writing, especially to women, is my passion. I guide aspiring authors to trust their intuition and embrace the transformative power of writing. Writing goes beyond words on a page—it shapes lives, heals wounds, and sparks positive change. I empower individuals to explore their passions, embrace vulnerability, and embark on personal journeys of self-discovery. Storytelling has a profound impact on individuals and communities, serving as a conduit for personal growth and offering comfort.

 

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

Observation, open-mindedness, and perseverance have been the three qualities that have had the most impact on my journey as an author and on my personal growth.

Observation has been instrumental in creating multi-dimensional characters. By carefully observing the world around me, I can understand the intricacies of human behavior, dialogue, and the environment. This deep understanding allows me to bring authenticity and relatability to my characters, making them more believable and engaging for readers. This is really helpful to have better relationships with the people in my life.

I thoroughly enjoy taking the time to slow down and appreciate the world around me—the gentle curves of the mountains, the vibrant hues of the flowers, and the melodic buzz of a bee, each element enriching my environment and inspiring my work.

Open-mindedness has been essential in my growth as an author and as a mom. It has enabled me to embrace new ideas, genres, and writing styles, constantly pushing the boundaries of my creativity. I value feedback and criticism, using them as opportunities for improvement. Being open-minded has allowed me to challenge conventional thinking, break barriers, and bring fresh perspectives to my writing. It also helps me to be in my relationship with my kids, I’ m still pushing   the boundaries of motherhood.

Reading is an invaluable tool for fostering open-mindedness. I am deeply passionate about reading because it not only allows me to escape into different worlds but also enables me to acquire profound insights and refine my writing skills to the fullest extent.

Perseverance is the driving force that keeps me dedicated to my craft. Writing a book demands time, effort, and unwavering commitment. It can be a challenging and solitary endeavor, but through discipline, I establish regular writing routines. I embrace the revision and editing process, accepting feedback as a means to refine and enhance my work. Perseverance enables me to overcome obstacles and challenges that inevitably arise during the writing process. It ensures that I complete my projects and continue to evolve as a writer. Perseverance is crucial for my personal growth as well.

Perseverance is absolutely crucial for an author. Believe me, it wasn’t an easy journey for me either. I used to wait for the muse to strike and for inspiration to come, but now I’ve realized that I can’t wait around. I’ve become proactive, and the muse chases after me instead. It’s through persistence and dedication that I’ve discovered the true power of creativity.

For aspiring authors who are early in their journey and seek to develop these qualities, here is some advice:

Cultivating Observation:

Pay attention to details in your surroundings: Observe people’s behaviors, interactions, and environments. Take note of the subtleties of body language, dialogue, and sensory elements. These observations will enrich your writing and make your characters and settings more vivid and realistic. Slow down, look around, listen.

Fostering Open-mindedness:

Explore diverse genres and writing styles: Step outside your comfort zone and experiment with different genres and writing techniques. By venturing into uncharted territories, you’ll discover new possibilities and find your unique voice as a writer. Read more and then read more.

Developing Perseverance:

Set specific writing goals and establish a routine: Define clear goals, such as dedicated writing time, and create a consistent writing schedule. Treat writing as a priority and commit to it regularly, even during moments of self-doubt or lack of inspiration. Most importantly: start writing and then write more.

Observation, open-mindedness, and perseverance are essential for personal growth as well.

Remember: “Forgive yourself first! Love yourself first! Respect yourself first!

Before we go, maybe you can tell us a bit about your parents and what you feel was the most impactful thing they did for you?
My parents have imparted numerous invaluable lessons to me, but above all, they emphasized the importance of honesty, the avoidance of jealousy towards others’ success, and the significance of family bonds. These teachings have shaped my character and continue to guide me in navigating life’s challenges with integrity and a sense of gratitude for the love and support of my loved ones.

However, the most impactful thing my parents did for me was adopting me. I genuinely believe that their decision to adopt required immense courage. Despite the challenges that came with it, I am incredibly proud to say that I am adopted. It was an extraordinary act of love that has shaped my life in profound ways.

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Image Credits
Jennifer MacNiven

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